December 23, 2003
Isn't she just so beautiful and joyful! I adore her! I don't dance nearly enough. I intend to correct that this very day!
Yesterday is a blur of columns, having boosted my weekend work out to Monday, then doing the usual Monday column as well. I swear, I think the chair was still warm when I sat down in it this morning.
Life has been quiet and still (just like Winter), even with Christmas/Solstice having come and gone. It was a wonderful time and an even better day. I started wrapping within the 48 hour countdown, so only had to do a bit on Solstice Eve. Valerie and Josh came over to spend the night (to get their presents with the kids on Solstice morning), so we played cards until it was time to go get David at the airport at 11pm. He was visiting his father in New Mexico for a week. When Eric left for the airport at 10:30, I started wrapping. David's flight was delayed and they didn't get back until around 1am. We visited for a few minutes (I had been dozing on the couch for about an hour by then), then put out the presents and turned in.
The kids are allowed to wake us up at 6:00am to open presents and not a breath earlier. I was up at 5:30am with a headache (I get them when I'm not sleeping enough), so I knew they were gathered around clocks waiting eagerly. Up at 6:00 and even Eric was pretty quick to rise, which is unusual. It was the usual flurry of tearing, flying paper and oohs and ahs. Everyone seemed pleased, including the bigger kids. We took David home early because he was exhausted from traveling and not having much sleep. Josh and Valerie left soon after to get some sleep, then came back around 3 to eat with us. They left around 5:30 or so and our group came over a little past 6:00. We have almost all new people since our last group of people (who'd been around for many years) all scattered. It happens sometimes. All at once, people relocate or have schedule changes and the group changes. Now, we have almost all male-female couples which is really unusual. It's very nearly impossible to find a straight male Pagan who doesn't think he's King Arthur. Change is challenging for Virgos like myself, but I've learned to be more flexible and open and to "trust the process." The people who have come to us this time are wonderful and it's fun to get to know and get comfy with new folks. My friend, Jennifer, is still with us and she's the only one from the old group still with us. Georgia drops in from time to time, but is busy exploring her own path on Spiritual Walkabout, which is an important part of the growth and evolution process; otherwise, you get so wrapped up in how "the group" incorporates things that you stop thinking and processing for yourself. Time away helps to solidify your own beliefs and concepts. So we welcomed back the sun, planned for goals to harvest in the coming year and then feasted and visited. It was lovely.
Eric is still doing little jobs every day, keeping the wolf away from the door. His own business is at least turning a small profit, which is unusual for a six month old venture. It's coming along a bit at a time and we hope that eventually, it will be a thriving success. :) He and his partner are really good at what they do (installing fire and security alarm systems, as well as installing phone and cable wiring and jacks into new homes), so we know it will just take time for their client base to build. They bid housing project jobs as they are being built and it's only a matter of time before one comes through. Once that happens, they'll have steady work for quite some time and we can relax a bit. For now, one day chases another and one bill shakes hands with its brother and they fight over who deserves to get paid first. I know a lot of people live this way and I can't imagine living differently, although I'd sure like to experience it. Eric comes from a very wealthy family, but I have always lived hovering over or below the poverty line. For that reason, his family is pretty sure I've reduced him to living this way, which is true. He was a carefree young airman when I got ahold of him. Because of how things went in my first marriage ("Are you happy, honey?" "Oh yes" "Are you happy, honey?" "Oh yes." "Are you..." "...leaving you for someone else, oh yes.") I keep close tabs on how he's feeling and the strong impression I'm getting is that he does love us and is happy with us, but really, desperately wants the finances to change. I asked him again last night if he regretted me being a stay at home mom or if maybe he'd like for me to go back to work (it's been almost six years). He said that he had no regrets and as long as we are getting by, it's his preference that I stay home. I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband with the same family values that I have. I wub him.
I finally got my e-mail inbox trimmed down to about 50 letters from about 300. If you wrote to me and haven't heard from me, it probably got lost in the shuffle. It was a flurry of moving stuff around, answering what I could and trying to weed out the spam. I swear, I get so much of the stuff. The mail program I use (Incredimail, which I love) does not allow filters to search based on the body of the e-mail ("generic viagra," "your mortgage," "hot Asian chicks," "fiber optic cable"), but only will grab the subject or from line, which is always different.
My brother (the not crazy stinky one) has turned himself into H.R. Buff'n'stuff through the Body For Life program. He started in late summer and has lost 60 pounds, but that's just how much lighter he is. Having built up a lot of muscle, which weighs more than fat, lord knows how much fat he's actually lost. I'm so very proud of him!
I have been carefully considering my own path and how I'm going to ultimately deal with my weight problem. I'm still reading Dr Phil's Weight Loss Challenge (thanks, darlin Karen) and he brings up some very good points. My most major challenges that I've seen are portion control, water intake and exercise. I need to best those demons, change my life to accommodate those things and just go for it. My friend, Melissa, works for Curves and has had remarkable success. She started as a client there and made such great progress that they asked her to work for them. It's not a terribly expensive start up (about $100 for the first month and then $40 a month after), so I'm thinking I'll give it a try after the first of the year when we have recovered from Christmas. As evil as it sounds, I'll take it out of the grocery money (the amount that I eat... it's only fair) if it means finally getting to a healthy size or at least on the road. Things are definitely tight, but this is important to me and I'm going to be selfish and do this.
My hubby just got back, so I'm going to go visit with the love of my life for a while. I hope you have a splendid day and I should be around tomorrow.