December 26, 2004
If you had any doubts before that I have the
weirdest dreams on earth, you won't after this
Backing up a bit, I probably won't be around
tomorrow since I plan to spend it cleaning if
my spirit will allow it at all. I was
supposed to be doing that today, but a foul
mood from Eric, PMS from hell (dammit, I NEVER
used to have this beast) making me want to
brutally kill every living thing in this house
that is over 6 feet tall and named Eric and
the fact that it is something like -70 degrees
outside is undermining my interest in being
productive, so I've spent the day sitting and
cramping and moping a good bit. A day of
mope without comfort food must be followed by
a day of penitent cleaning according to some
bullshit woman handbook somewhere, I am quite
sure. My eyeballs hurt, my tummy hurts,
my back hurts, my head hurts and want to be
pampered. In lieu of that (as it was so
incredibly not forthcoming that in other
reviews it would be laughable), self-pity took
over. I am reading about the cool shit
other people got for Christmas and wished I
hadn't been as noble as I was. I have to
remember for future reference how much noble
So tomorrow is repent cleaning and the
summoning up of energy I don't have now and
the reclaiming of my home. Appraiser
comes on Wednesday afternoon and the last
thing I want is her having the impression that
our family living here actually devalued the
home beyond the equity that has accrued.
The whole point is to pay off bills and get a
cash out so we can live without raising the
mortgage. Goal in sight, prayers
ascending this Full Moon day.
catching you up to where we are now and where
we will be tomorrow when I'm not writing in
the nonsoapy, here are the dreams, in
chronological order rather than descending
order of weirdness.
Monday, December 20th
Dreamed I was in a thrift store I hadn't seen
before , but had a metaphysical section
(score!) and a clothes that fit me section and
a major book section. Eric was there
with me, but kids were not. As I went
through this thrift store (Eric will milling
about doing whatever Eric does when I'm not
paying attention to him), I was loading up on
stuff before I realized that the store had
absolutely everything in it I'd ever wished
for, plus a bunch of shit that I didn't even
know to wish for that I wanted. I
found Eric and told him that even though the
prices were great, I knew we weren't going to
have enough money to buy all I wanted.
The lady behind the counter overheard me and
said, "Mrs. Rasbold?" I turned around,
did not recognize her and was surprised she
knew me. "Yes?" She looked 1000
different kinds of puzzled and said, "Why
would you buy any of this? This is YOUR
store." ?! Party! Then I
woke up, so I don't know if I closed the store
down and played with my crap or if other
people bought my crap. I was feeling
rather possessive of the crap in my dream, so
I don't imagine I was particularly generous
with selling said crap.
Tuesday, December 21st
Didn't sleep well due to a pesky cold and
couldn't get a nice enough sleep cycle to
dream well. No dice.
Wednesday, December 22nd
Made up for Tuesday. My grandfather was
alive. I adore my grandfather. He
was a robust, large, "Big Fish" of a man (with
humility like no other, however) who loved to
tell stories and spend time with his
grandchildren and help others. He died
several years ago on Christmas Day, shriveled
to about 90 pounds, wearing diapers and curled
into a fetal position... and he knew it.
It was horrible.
In my dream, he was alive and healthy and
jovial again. But he had decided to die.
He invited everyone to his own funeral and had
arranged for a doctor to give him a lethal
injection that would let him drift off into
that never ending sleep, floating off our
mortal coil, so to speak. I was
horrified, hysterical and trying to beg him
out of it. I couldn't bear to lose him.
He was explaining how he just didn't want to
be here any more. He was ready to go.
Tears were streaming down my face.
Nothing I could say was going to change his
mind. They were going to take this
healthy, vibrant man and ease him away from us
I went to the bathroom to collect myself and
while I was gone, the funeral began. I
could hear people singing softly. I
hurried out and realized they were singing,
"Send In The Clowns." I pushed my way
past hundreds of smiling people, trying to get
to where he was. I kept getting blocked and
pushed aside, but I finally broke through.
He was smiling, even through the painted clown
smile he was wearing. He was in full
clown gear: big shoes, plaid pants,
giant necktie, full face paint, white gloves.
He was resting on a gigantic representation of
an Operation game board and his body lined up
with that of the Operation guy. His
right arm was tied to the board and as I got
there, the doctor injected something into him
and his nose lit up. He smiled more
brightly and was gone. So was my dream.
Thursday, December 23rd
I was at the branch of the river that runs
through Eric's mining claim. It's more
like a sturdy, flowing creek there, about 20
feet across. It was a nice day and we
were there with Eric's father and his father's
girlfriend, Ann. We felt the ground
start to rumble and Eric's dad said,
"Something big is coming. Better move
the chairs." We backed up the lawn
chairs we'd been sitting in and the rumbling
became much louder. The trees on each
side of the road down to the river started
bending way as a huge hamster ball made its
way down the path. We were just far
enough to the side to avoid getting mowed
over. There were two people inside the
hamster ball, smiling, laughing and working
hard to keep it rolling in the right
direction. They waved at us and we waved
back. They rolled the hamster ball into
the creek and went on across to the other
side, up the bank and out of sight. We
moved our chairs back to where they were and
continued our conversation.
Friday, December 24th
I dreamed about two couples, my friend Sherry
and her husband Scott (and in dreaming this, I
was reminded that Paul and I also were friends
with a couple named Scott and Sherry) and Lucy
Coe and Kevin Collins from General Hospital
(go figure). Eric told me that he wanted
to engage in a sexual relationship (mind you,
in real life, not only does he not know any of
these people, but the idea of a polyamorous
relationship would NOT be considered, much
less suggested) with them in a swappy
kind of way. At first, I was deeply
offended in that "what, I'm not enough for
you?" way, then I started to consider benefits
for myself and agreed that it might be a good
thing. There would be no "slot b to slot
b" action, only a rearranging of the tab a
slot b situations, if you catch my drift.
I woke up before I found out if it benefited
me in any particular way. Both Lucy Coe
and Sherry may rest assured that none of the
consideration of the idea translated into real
life. Just another weird dream.
Saturday, December 25th
I was at a General Hospital fan event, sitting
on the front row. Maurice Benard (Sonny
on General Hospital for you nonsoap people)
walked out on stage and reached his hand down,
giving his head a little jerk, indicating I
should get on stage with him. I took his
hand and got on stage and he said (no
microphone, so just for me), "I hear you make
the best peanut butter fudge in the country
and I intend to get me some of it. Now
what do I have to do to make that happen?"
Then he tongue kissed me for about 2-3 minutes
while I started thinking about making a whole
lot of peanut butter fudge. I don't
particularly like Sonny on GH, but wow. I was
ready to make some fudge. A whole lot of
it. (I do make good fudge) I
remember that Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis on GH)
had been sitting in the audience next to me
and when he kissed me, she said, "Oh for
Chrissakes" and got up and left. I
remembered not caring and thinking I'd kiss
now, then make fudge and deal with her later.
Saturday, December 25th, Dream #2
(Strange because I only slept about 4-5 hours
last night and managed two dreams that I
remember.) Eric's mother was here to
visit (different person than the one who was
with me when the hamster ball rolled past) and
brought LOTS of suitcases with her. I
asked her where she wanted us to take them and
she said to take them out back. We
did and I went inside to cook lunch for us.
Delena came running in to tell me to come look
what Grandma brought and when I got outside,
she had set up all of these racks in the back
yard and they were covered with the prettiest
clothes, purses, jewelry, shoes, books and all
kids of stuff that were just beautiful.
All in my taste and Delena's, with gothy
clothes for her and such. She told us
she'd brought them all for us and to enjoy!
When I stopped dreaming, we were talking,
bug-eyed, through these awesome clothes.
This dream is interesting because to my
knowledge and based on the evidence I've seen,
Eric's mother doesn't have much affection for
me and doesn't feel I've brought anything
particularly positive to her son's life and
pretty much tolerates me because I'm there,
don't appear to be going anywhere soon and it
would be rude to do otherwise. I can't
remember the last time she and I actually
spoke, although she used to call me and we'd
have good talks. Now she calls Eric on
his cell phone and talks to him. She and
her husband have always been extremely good to
us, so I have no cause for real complaint.
I just get the feeling she doesn't think much
of me as a person.
As I said, strange dreams.
But no hungry animal dreams. :)
I have definitely come a long way from the
months and months of no dream memory after
first moving here in March. Can you
believe it has been nearly a year since we
found out our rental house was going on the
market. Goddess bless Maurine, the
broker, who started us on the road to even
imagining we could own a house!
So I'll likely be around on Tuesday, with any
luck telling you how sparkly my house looks
and how ready for Ms Generously Minded
Appraiser Woman I am. If anyone would be
so kind as to come talk to me while I clean
and wipe a window or five, I'd be forever
See You Tuesday,
December 24, 2004
The laundry is aptly savored, washed, put
away, on hangers and a new batch is
accumulating. I actually went through
the kids' pajama tub. They have a big,
deep Rubbermaid tub that they keep their
jammies in. They both wear the same size
jammies, so they interchange, but they also
often go to sleep in their clothes (shut up),
so the jammies get used once in a while.
(They take their baths in the morning)
This means I didn't go through the jammie tub
for a while, so when I got into it, I found
some jewels, like a couple of pairs of lost
jeans (score!) and one of Spooky's old play
socks. :( Major bummer. I
still miss him so much.
I had an interesting experience yesterday
looking for cats. We have been wanting a
couple more cats ever since Spooky went away.
The adoption outreach programs around here are
a little pricey since they include upkeep of
the animal, spaying or neutering, shots,
worming and all testing. I have never
actually paid for a homeless animal before.
Of course, we get them spayed/neutered and
such. I tend to find my animals where
they've been abandoned or else someone is
moving and can't take theirs with them.
We got Creep when a neighbor's cat had
kittens. Usually, I am surrounded by
people who are begging you to take cats off
their hands. Spooky has been gone for
more than three months and no cats.
So I heard about a humane society in Diamond
Springs and yesterday, while in town, Delena
and I decided to check it out. The
little woman who was there must have taken an
instant dislike to us. Evidently, it is
quite a tricky proposition to appropriately
place a used cat because she put us through
the frowning third degree. She was
worried that we have small children in the
house because small children carry cats by the
head. She was worried that we live in
Grizzly Flats because Delena mentioned she was
partial to black cats and "in Grizzly Flats
they have cults who do horrible things to
black cats, especially at Halloween."
Since the entire population of Grizzly Flats
consists of us, Delena's friend, Sabrina and
her family, our neighbor, Steve and a few
hundred members of "The Committee" who put on
Hamburger Night every Friday through the
Summer, I find that assertion suspect. I
started to ask her if she had any points of
contact for the cults on the likelihood that
they were Witches who had been mislabeled as
cat killing cults, but thought I'd err on the
side of caution lest I be tossed into the
parking lot by this wiry little hellcat of an
outreach lady. At least now I know that
Grizzly Flats has an ominous cat sacrificing
reputation. See how we are? I knew
there was something sinister about Grizzly
Flats Community Church. It has that
Thomas Tryon/Shirley Jackson feel to it.
If I could break into it, there might be a cat
store room where I can liberate some potential
So here I stand with St Agnes, Protector of
Used Cats, trying to convince her that I am
worthy to buy one of her used cats. She
finally, reluctantly, confessed that some 8-10
week old kitties were coming in today.
Ran it past Eric, who really wants kitties,
but he decided he wanted to wait until after
the appraisal on Wednesday. (Hurray!
It is actually scheduled!)
Since he and Delena will be picking up on
Friday, a week from today, I suspect that
unless St Agnes has a really good memory, he
will have to go through the whole process of
convincing her he's worthy.
I still want a weenie dog.
So tell me, appraisers, brokers and appraisees
out there. How showcase should the house
be when the appraiser comes? I haven't
done this before. With any luck, the
refi will be done by mid-January, 2-3 weeks.
When that happens, we should be OK. It
will pay off enough of our bills (car, for
instance) without raising our payments so that
it will be as though we have another part time
job coming into the budget. The Universe
is definitely making us work for this.
Based on what we were originally told, it
should have been done this week. Nothing
is final yet, but it's much, much closer to
Josh and Valerie were able to finally get a
car, so they are bringing the grandkids up
here tomorrow instead of us going to
Sacramento, which suits me just fine. I
still get extremely sick riding to Sac and
this is much better.
Today is Eric Rasbold Day and he is forbidden
from doing any housework and gets anything he
asks for. He's still asleep upstairs at
the moment, so we will see the degree to which
he takes advantage of this. New Year's
Eve is Katrina Rasbold Day, or so I have
deemed. Something tells me I should have
scheduled MY day first to see how it plays
out, then gauge his day accordingly.
My natural inclination toward generosity is
going to be the undoing of me.
Joe was telling me that one of his favorite
memories of childhood was a practice Paul and
I had for many years of taking each son out in
turn on the weekend. Each week, one
would have "their" day when they got our
undivided attention and were allowed to choose
a restaurant where we would have lunch.
We'd usually go shopping as well and buy them
a small something. Paul and I really
enjoyed it as well. It gave us a good
opportunity to get to know each child as an
individual rather than as a group. This
went on until our first divorce, then I
couldn't afford to go out to eat much.
His memory, coupled with the knowledge that I
will soon have 5 days a week of alone time
after Dylan starts public school and Nathan
goes to full days on January 3rd, prompted me
to start the same tradition with my little
kids. Now, each weekend when I go to
town, the kids will take turns going with me
while the other two get at home time with Dad.
I would love it if we could both go, but
babysitting isn't available and this is the
next best thing. When they are older and
can babysit themselves, Dad can go too.
Meanwhile, I get to focus on my kiddies and
always know I have special time with each one.
Oh! I just did the coolest thing!!
Nathan wanted to be a king with a crown and a
mustache. I had an old soft plastic
crown in the shed that we used for a "Lugh at
the Gate" skit a couple of years ago. It
was behind a buttload of boxes and I could see
it, but couldn't get it it. With a
bamboo torch, I was able to snag it and safely
maneuver it over the boxes (yay me!).
Then, we tied his fleece Spongebob blanket
over his shoulder like a robe, but what
to do about the mustache?? I put a strip
of scotch tape on his upper lip and I could
use a sharpie marker to draw an altogether
respectable mustache on to the tape!
The tape even worked its way off without
Life is great! Have a Happy Holiday,
First off, I
have started a separate journal, this time a Live Journal. I've had a rush, as is
typical of the dark, Winter times, of
wonderful spiritual conversations with people
and rather than clog up this journal with lots
of religious and spiritual talk that some
folks might not be interested in, I have given
them their own little home. This is the
I hope to
update it at least a couple of times a week.
I've been blessed with some really cool
experiences and writing them out helps me to
process them better.
Also, part of
our "Winter Work" for planning out our Spring
planting involves journaling about the
categories we picked at Solstice, so this will
give me an online place to do that. When
I write in long hand, my head is going faster
than my hand and it gets frustrating for me. I
tend to lose thoughts before I can get them
I got my house
very clean yesterday, so I am most cocky
today. strut strut strut I still
have some pans to wash (around 9pm last night,
I said, "That's enough!") and laundry to do,
but I can do that at a casual pace today.
Savor that laundry! (ha ha)
We also took down
the tree yesterday and my home is back to
normal. Next year, I have decided that
we will retire the 20+ year old artificial
tree (1981, so what? 23?) in favor of a
brand new one with the lights already
attached. I figure an investment
every 20 years isn't bad. Poor Eric
tries, but one of the few things at which the
guy does not excel is light placement.
He winds the lights around the tree until it
looks like it is being restrained by the
strands rather than decorated. Then the
tree spends the entire holiday looking like a
kidnap victim. It makes me want to put a
blindfold on its top rather than an angel.
I figure the pre-lighted tree will save us all
a great deal of furrowed browdom.
holiday decorations, but get easily bored by
them, then start craving my old arrangement.
My house was happy to be back to normal again.
I had a terrible night
of sleep for no reason in particular. I
was flopping around, moving among different
dreams about Paul (my first husband) and my
mother and father. Don't remember any of
the details. I just realized I haven't
had the hungry animals dream since I forced
myself to continue the dream and get all of
the animals fed. That was what, a
month or more ago? Yep,
Oh, and I did shave the cat (for real, not in
a dream). He took it like a man and now
is sporting a kind of kitty Mohawk, walking
around like, "OK, you got a problem with
Ha! I think
I might need one of these:
didn't go particularly well:
Name Acronym Generator
OK, the only
one I really have a puzzled look about is
"Naive." But then, I didn't think I was
intimidating either until a few people hipped
me to that (dude). Maybe I am
intimidating in my naiveté.
Not where it counts, anyway.
devastated that the Showtime exclusive series
"Dead Like Me" has not been renewed.
Bastards. I like so few shows and now
they have to screw with them. "The Dead
Zone" should be showing up again in the
summer, I'm told. "The Sopranos" will
start up again... some day. Last season,
it took a year and a half to get a new
episode. "Scrubs" is in reruns, but a
rerun of Scrubs is better than a first run of
almost everything else. DLM is looking
for another venue, but if it's not premium
cable (HBO, Cinemax, etc), it's going to be
seriously compromised because the show is so
completely dialog driven. Losing the
swearing and adult situations will deeply scar
the basic integrity of the show. I heard
they are courting Sci-Fi Channel, which I feel
would be a mistake for the above reasons.
Oh well, PG-13 Dead Like Me is better than no
Dead Like Me.
One of the
gifts I grabbed for the kids is a mini
trampoline. Of course, that means *I*
have a mini-trampoline/rebounder, which I plan
to put to good use. It's a really GOOD one
too. The only problem is that (eek) it
doesn't show a maximum poundage, so I am
worried that having my tonnage jumping up and
down on it, arms flailing and ass in the wind,
might pop the little canvas straps. I
hope they are chanting, "light as a feather,
stiff as a board" the whole time I'm a'hoppin'.
Probably more like, "Light as a...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhh.... pop pop pop!"
Aleve causes heart attacks!
Naproxin is being seriously studied after
some old folks who were taking it in an
Alzheimer's study developed a 50% increase in
cardio-vascular episodes. That's quite a
chunk! If you or someone you love...
reader sent me this wonderful thing:
ago, in Scotland, a new game was invented.
It was ruled "Gentlemen Only... Ladies
Forbidden"... and thus the word GOLF entered
into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together
on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly
than the US Treasury.
Men can read smaller print than women can;
women can hear better.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The State with the highest percentage of
people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness:
28% (now get this...)
The percentage of North America that is
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the
age of eleven: $6,400
The average number of people airborne over the
US any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper
in their hair.
The first novel ever written on a typewriter:
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only
mobile National Monuments.
Each king in a deck of playing cards
represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 =
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person
died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air the
person died as a result of wounds received in
If the horse has all four legs on the ground,
the person died of natural causes.
Only two people signed the Declaration of
Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and
Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed
on August 2, but the last signature wasn't
added until 5 years later.
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
What is the most popular boat name requested?
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far
would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers, and laser printers all have
A. All invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than
any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured
on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled
on the ropes the mattress tightened, making
the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
years ago that for a month after the wedding,
the bride's father would supply his son-in-law
with all the mead he could drink. Mead
is a honey beer and because their calendar was
lunar based, this period was called the honey
month ... which we know today as the
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and
quarts... So in old England, when customers
the bartender would yell at them "Mind your
pints and quarts, and settle down." It's
where we get the phrase "mind your P's and
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had
a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of
their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill,
they used the whistle to get some service.
"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
75% of people who read this will try to lick
Oh come on,
you guys DIDN'T, did you?
savor the laundry a little more. :)