December 8, 2003

The house... is quiet.  Dylan fell asleep watching TV in the family room.  Nathan and Delena are cuddled in my room watching Pirates of the Caribbean (my Christmas present from Joey) and I'm watching Star Trek TNG.  Speaking of which, I ordered myself a Christmas present!  (Lord, I'm so easy!)  I got one of the remaining copies of the wonderful documentary, "Trekkies."  It's out of print, but I still got it on e-bay for just a couple of bucks.  If you have any interest at all in the Star Trek phenomenon, it's worth grabbing from Netflix or your local video store.  You'll especially enjoy the stories of Barbara Adams, the Starfleet Commander who works at Kinko's and was excused from jury duty for defying a court order not to wear her official Starfleet uniform to court.  You can find her fan page here:  Then, there are the incredible Spinerfemmes who worship Brent Spiner, who plays Data on Next Generation.  You can read a good run down of this movie and all of the fun stuff included in it at  I love it.  I also caught a good buy on the shipping cost, so that was a wonderful thing.  :)  I'm all a-giddy with joy.  *doing the happy happy joy joy dance*   

Eric and I have been taking a special time each night to pray about our situation and welcome in the blessings and miracles.  As a result, our eyes have been opened to a lot of new avenues for success.  We've come up with ideas for Christmas, as well as new thoughts on how to bring income into the house.  It's been an incredible experience.  I've always been a "pray on the fly" person and while I talk to Goddess all day long, yammering away in dialogue like a woman possessed sometimes (especially when I'm driving alone), I have not often scheduling specific time each day/night for energy focus and prayer.  I don't count my meditation time in the morning because I see that as something different from praying, no matter how close to Deity I feel when I meditate.  As my friend Arnie says (and at 72, I figure he has the life experience required to make the call), "There is nothing holy in poverty."  I am determined to get us OUT of poverty and to get set in whatever lesson we are to be taking from it.

I had a real, up close experience with the power of what we've been doing on Sunday (wow! was that just yesterday??).  David came over to baby sit while Eric and I went out to do a little bit of Christmas shopping.  Eric was really wanting to see a movie and even though we were on matinee price, we were squeamish about spending the money for movie tickets.  After considering it a bit, we decided to go for it.  We considered the movies we both wanted to see and settled on "Timeline."  It was fun, action packed, romantic and very predictable.  We liked it very much.  I'm very much into time travel, so it was right up my alley.  Afterwards, my bladder was exploding, so I ducked into the potty room and conducted my business.  As I was leaving (by complete miracle, the bathroom was completely deserted except for me), I glanced down and saw a folded $20 bill on the floor!!  Since no one was around, I snagged it, held it up, said thank you and took my leave.  Eric was astounded and we did a little happy dance in the lobby.  That not only paid for our movie tickets, but also for potato skins and iced tea at the Elephant Bar!!!  A real date!!  When I was doing the Christmas shopping I could do this week, everything I needed was on sale, when let me get another item I needed!!  It was a really, really blessed day and I came home feeling jubilant. 

Today, I found a few things I needed on e-bay for absolute pennies!  Literally!!  I was able to bid on some CD's and such for less than a dollar.  Before, it was an exercise in frustration, but now, I'm getting things I need for next to nothing!  It's so exciting!  The e-bay gods are with me!! and Amazon Marketplace have also been great sources!  I'm going to put this Christmas together YET!

I am so embarrassingly behind on my e-mail.  I cleared out my inbox of letters I'd answered and no-response letters about accounts and such and still had over 270 letters left.  I really want to apologize to everyone who has written to me and not gotten a response.  Between writing three columns each weekend, the gossip column on Monday and the Nonsoapy column several days a week, plus the book reviews, my computer time is about shot and the e-mail is what has really taken it in the butt as a result.  Eric seems to always need to write up bids and research alarm equipment and such online, plus Delena is also very computer active.  I feel like I'm fighting for every minute I get and then, if I get up to go pee, someone's in my chair when I get back, getting pissed that I want to finish whatever I was doing.  I wish I had an office with a door and another computer with online capabilities that I could toss to them like throwing a steak into a lion's cage.  Lord knows they'd fall on it like a pack of wild dingoes (I am assured by spell check that "dingoes" has that "e."  Who knew?).  

Tomorrow is another happy day because I'm going to work going to the grocery store into whatever schedule Eric has.  I'm getting more used to taking each day as its own energy, opening it like a present instead of needing to plan it out (which, my friend, Erick - as opposed to my husband Eric - tells me is why it's called "the present").  I've always hated and strongly resisted the chaos that comes from never knowing what the next day holds.  I take immense security in having a rhythm to things and an overall flow to my life.  I don't mind the weekends having some spontaneity to them because, well, they're weekends.  The weeks, though, are business and I like to have some predictability.  Since I never know from day to day whether Eric is going to have a meeting with a prospective client or going out to make a bid or writing a bid or going on a small job or what, there's never any way of knowing if I'm going to have him home the whole day or have a day like today where he leaves at 8am and here it's 9pm and he's still gone.  I'm getting used to the "flow of chaos" and being able to be at peace with whatever happens in a day.  Letting go of that expectation and the resentment that comes when the predictability isn't there has gone a long way to further my overall peace and joy. 

Plus, "Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo," is on FX!  What more could I want??  (Trek is off, there had to be a good act to follow that!)  There are so many fun movies out there in the world!  I can't imagine living in a time without so much fun to be had!  A lot of Pagans really ache for the past and wish they could live in the 1300's and 1400's.  Not me, baby!  No way to I want to live in a world that's always at war, where people live to be 40 and then die of old age and with no computers, DVD's, CD's or MP3's!  I'm very perfectly happy to live in this wonderful world and feel privileged to have the opportunity to experience it all!  I love this life! 

Oh and check this out!  I was hanging out with Eric this weekend and he was watching TV and looking incredibly studly, so I forced him by way of much blackmail and cuddles to let me take pictures of him looking so cuddly and manly.  Here he is:  (I wub him and I don't ever forget how lucky I am, even when he makes me crazy!)

The yellow-orange blanket with the tiger on it is my
mink cuddle blanket that I sleep in every night!

It's starting out to be a glorious week.  Remember when I used to wish all of you a stellar weekend?  Pfft.  Why do we limit ourselves?  Let's have a stellar life!

Love to you all,