November 26, 2003

Yayyy!  Remember my big plans yesterday to defunk my house?  Man, did THAT ever lead me places I didn't expect to go!  I started by cleaning my main bathroom, which didn't take as much as I expected and was in good shape when I finished.  I never got to the de-calcifying the tub and shower like I wanted.  My main mission was the smell in the house, which was really getting to me and which I think really defines your station in life when someone walks into your house.  I use a lot of incense, not just to hide the smell, but because I like it, so sometimes, I miss it.  Also, I've had chronic sniffles for a few months now, which has hindered my smelling.  It's mostly the ancient, incontinent dog that was the problem.  I realized this after I cleaned most of the bathroom and came out of the fresh clean bathroom air into the main house.  Ew.  I clean the office carpet every 2-3 days with my Hoover carpet cleaner, but that doesn't even come close to getting it all, plus it's a pain and not good for the floor.  Delena was online in the office when I was cleaning and while she and I were talking, I realized I could hardly stand to be in the room because of the smell.  I considered again having the dog put down.  She's 18 and blind and I think perhaps addled.  But then she wagged her tail when she heard me call her, hopped out of her bed and nuzzled me and I couldn't do it.  I grabbed a screwdriver and poked around at the threshold thing that mounted the carpet to the marble tiles in the entryway.  I finally managed to pry it up and gave the carpet a pull.  It resisted, but I was determined, so I popped it up a bit harder and lo!  And behold!  There was just what I'd hoped for underneath!  Ugly linoleum!!  Whoo hooo!  It was ON!  Best case was that it was beautiful tile and worst case was warped wood floor or bad concrete.  Ugly linoleum suited my needs jusssst fine.  I started pulling and prying.  The floor was perimetered with narrow slats of wood with tiny, slim nails jutting up from it to keep the carpet in place and was stapled in other places.  It took about 3 hours, but I got the whole thing pulled (the padding was really horrible in her favorite places).  We scraped and swept, soaked with hot towels, mopped and while it's not all that gorgeous (there is one place near the door where the linoleum is broken and it's terribly faded, but hey, it smells wonderful in here.  I put down a puppy pad last night and she actually hit it!  So after a ton of work (really, smelly, sweaty, nasty work), my office smells just glorious.  Today, my job is The Rest of The House.  :o)  Got to get a few walls cleaned, dishes, turtle tank and other fun such things.  This is me, getting to relax in front of my computer with you before the work day begins.

So, as promised... on to:

In my most humble opinion, this guy needs to seriously be locked away from the rest of the world, not because he is a danger to the people in it, but because the world is a danger to him.  He just absolutely cannot find his way to exist in the world without fucking up.  In more recent years, he should be sequestered just for being stupid. 

I do not believe that Michael Jackson molests children.  I believe that he is a seriously disturbed person who, for a number of reasons, at some point stopped growing in his head .  He just isn't safe among us.  He seems to have arrested (no pun intended) in a child-state and refused to think like an adult or interact with anyone as an adult, even though he's older than I am by three years.  He had the money and affluence to create a world away from having to be an adult.  I think he hangs out with children because they are the only ones he can trust not to hurt him.  If he opens his home to them that is decked out like a theme park, gives them lots of gifts and shows them a good time, then they will be happy children and happy children are totally non-threatening.  I also believe that he probably had his extensive plastic surgery, initially to look like his idol, Dianna Ross, but after that, to remove himself as much as possible from the damaged little black kid that he was before, the one who caught regular ass-kickings from his abusive father and heavy pressure to be the star and perform until he was dropping dead from exhaustion.  He didn't get a childhood when he should have and when something inside him broke, he was rich enough to buy one for the rest of his life. 

I've got no problem with that.  A lot of people have really, really crappy childhoods and are powerless to do anything about it.  Michael was able to buy himself a world to check into and create a safe place for him to exist so that he never has to go back and heal the past or deal with the things that happened to him.  As I said, "Pfft, whatever."  Inevitably, he encountered people who were opportunists and decided to capitalize on their interaction with the King of Pop.  Did the first family who pressed charges and made allegations of inappropriate behavior with children have selfish intent rather than any kind of justice on their minds?  I absolutely believe they did.  I think some situation came up that was misinterpreted or blown out of proportion and the family either developed some kind of greed or hysteria or something out of it and went in for the kill.  I think it was resolved out of court because Michael didn't want to put the kid through a trial.  I think he really is as kind and loving and innocent as his friends portray him to be.  (Please note here that this is formed as an objective opinion.  I appreciate Jackson as an entertainer, but I am not a major fan) I also think that he's incredibly stupid... a total fool.  As soon as the original allegations surfaced, he should have snapped into adult mode long enough to be made to understand (by the friends and advisors who were pushing him to do so) that while weird, this was all well and good and fine until the first breath of accusation.  Once that occurred, Peter Pan bullshit or not, he should have gone immediately into a life that never even carried the slightest hint of impropriety. Instead, he refused, insisting on flying his "But I'm INNOCENT" banner and carrying on as he always has, even going so far as to allow those STUPID and damaging interviews that did little more than exploit how far from the rest of us he really is.  By categorically proving himself to be a total freak with the naivety of a 3-year-old, he instantly made himself suspect to everything the public feared.  While I do understand what is going on in his addled brain, he still lives in our twisted world and like it or not, you can't dangle your bought-and-paid-for kid over a 500th floor balcony (I really believe the dumbass was trying to show people the baby) or continue to have children at the ranch after being accused of being a molester.    I do not believe for a second that he would ever harm a child on any level, including sexually, but he should be found to be stupid in the first degree.  He just can't take a step without his moonwalking foot stepping into a pile of shit.

Michael Jackson rant off.

As I suspected, sleep is a glorious thing.  I've been working hard to catch up since Sunday, when I staged a "lying in."  I slept in that morning, then did very little for the day, napping when I could and getting to bed early that night.  Since then, I've hit then bed by 8pm, been asleep by 10 at the latest and felt so much better.  I've gotten the nighttime meds for the tooth trained into much better shape.  I lay out the pills with a drink and I've been able to wake up earlier in the pain cycle which theoretically, I can still sleep around it, take the pills and settle back down to sleep.  I feel so much better now!

So now, I'm off to get dressed for the day (10am, yikes!  What a bum!) and get started on the cleaning.  I hope all of you have a magnificent day!  Have fun Christmas shopping and planning for tomorrow!  Josh, Valerie and David are coming over early in the day and after that, it's kick back.

Love to all,
Katrina