September 20, 2003
Happy Harvest, everyone!! I know you
already heard that from me on August 1st, but this is the time of
the second harvest. August 1st is when we start
(figuratively, of course, since harvest is very climate and
geographically dictated and well, we had to have a standard)
bringing in the harvest that we have tended out in the fields.
The Autumn Equinox represents the time when we go out to get the
second harvest, which is the "boon," the nuts, berries, fruits and
such that would have grown in the wild with or without our help
(think blackberries, for instance). In the old days, by this
time there was already a good bit of the garden foods for the
village or clan harvested and preserved, so they were pretty well
assured that they would make it through the winter provided the
harvest was bountiful. They had spent the summer working and
tending the crops they planted in the spring and now they knew if
they were likely to make it through the cold months to come.
They were blessed by this second, supplemental harvest and it was
seen as a divine gift to reward their efforts in the field with an
even greater return. Because of the first harvest being in
storage by now (or a good deal of it), this was a time of great
thanksgiving. The best parts of the harvest so far were put
together into a great feast to celebrate the success of their
efforts in the fields, as well as the extra food coming to them
from divine sources. Later in the year, as the world began
the freeze, the men would go out into the cold woods and fields to
hunt for meat to carry the sustenance even further. All good
cycle of life stuff.
This is a wonderful time to focus on the
things you want to change in your life and to get good
visualization of how you want your life to be. Even for
those who do not follow the cycles of the Earth and nature, this
is a time when through collective consciousness and connectivity
to the well-worn paths our ancestors walked before us, this is
usually a time of change when new lives are born. The seeds
planted in the spring will be ready to manifest into harvest and
often we are thrust into life changes we didn't expect (except by
the voices inside us that we should be listening to more closely).
As we get closer to the harvest's end at Halloween, we begin to
move into the time of death, when letting go of the things that no
longer serve us becomes the focus. The parts of our lives
that are dying away and would hold us back from our greatest
possible future tend to get moved aside and many, many people are
presented with the opportunity to enact great change in their
lives. They can take or leave that opportunity usually
(sometimes, you aren't given a choice and are simply told to keep
your hands and feet inside the car at all times and hang on).
Usually, such abrupt means (as in, without your consent) don't
come along unless you've been ignoring the subtle nudges you've
been getting for a while in your subconscious. So basically,
between now and October 31st, stay alert for opportunities for
change in your life. They are part of your harvest and will
take you to a really good place.
Of course, this is also a wonderful time to
get very clear about the value people, things and situations hold
in your life. It's hard to be objective sometimes when you
are so used to living a certain way and having specific people in
your life. It's not usually too often that we voluntarily do
an inventory and carefully consider the impact the people around
us have on our life. How can we change that if it's not a
good impact? Can we adjust the empowerment they have been
given (by us) to affect our life in a negative way? Can we
change the way we react to their negative impact? Are the
positive things about them worth the negative issues we experience
as a result? Things like homes (the neighborhood), jobs and
even our relationship with ourselves should be examined as well.
Around this time of year especially (although I really, really try
to be aware at all times), I will make a physical list of all of
the things for which I am thankful. There was a time when I
could only come up with 9-10 things in my life and that was
getting as basic as "I'm thankful for my children. I'm
thankful for having shelter. I'm thankful for a working
car..." That was also including thanks for each of my
friends individually, if that tells you how isolated I was back
then. Now, I know when I do this tonight (in preparation for
tomorrow), I will fill pages and pages. I'm grateful for
THAT as well!! One of the things for which I am most
grateful is this online community that has gathered around Eye on
Soaps. When my partner, Karen, (who, due to time
constraints, had to stop working on the site) and I started EOS,
we never imagined it would become the wonderful place it is now.
It's like living in a gigantic house full of interesting people to
visit. I've met so many incredible people and dear friends
through the Nonsoapy (which was named that odious name because I
started mentioning my "real life" in my soap column and about half
the people wrote in to say, "Hey, chick, who cares? Keep it
to the soaps!" and about half said, "Hey, you never told us what
happened with..." Hence, the "NONsoapy" column was born.
When that happened, I had no idea that I would end up (on most
days) enjoying writing the nonsoapy stuff more than the soap
columns and that *I* would feel the catharsis of letting all that
out and now, I really miss it on the days that real life keeps me
from writing. Thanks to YOU all for being there!
Another aspect of that careful inventory of
this time of year is taking the time to let the people that you
love and who have a positive impact on your life know how
important they are to you. I did that last night and despite
a bit of nervousness about it, I'm so glad I did. There is a
wonderful woman who acted as my surrogate mother during some
really hard times when Paul would leave and go and leave and go.
She was a mother figure to both of us and we loved her very much.
After we divorced, my friend, Peggy's life changed enormously as
well. Her husband of many years died while they were
moving to another state and she found herself displaced and
widowed and financially crippled in a matter of minutes. She
made her way through that as I went through my own life changes
and both of us... well, changed. Our lives went in different
directions and we lost contact except for a quick visit a few
years ago when I was pregnant with Nathan. She did get to
meet Eric and deem him acceptable and I got to meet her new
husband and give him the nod. After that, we hadn't been
much in contact. I was nervous about contacting her.
What if the distancing had been deliberate on her part? What
if I had offended her in some grievous way? I have withstood
amazing challenges in my life and the Diva in me can handle about
anyone's attitudes, but wow. Was I strong enough to face the
anger or hurt or disappointment of a person who'd been more of a
mom to me than my own mother? The one who helped me put the
best polish on my Tarot card reading skills and my astrology
skills and my life skills?? *whew!* It made me
breathless to think about it. I felt small and mousey and
afraid. I meditated on it and felt a swell of love wash over
me. No. It was only time and happenstance that had
moved us apart. It was time. I dialed her number,
still a little shaky. My own mother had died just this
January 31st. Could I stand it if one of her children
answered and told me she had died as well? Her husband
answered, asked who was calling and when he told her, I heard her
squeal of delight in the background. Oh, I could feel it.
It was on. We talked for a good long time, exchanged
e-mail addresses and I hurried to send out pictures of the family
to her. It was lovely and it felt so good to have made that
connection, despite initial fears and reclaim that relationship.
It also felt good, after so many, many times of calling and
saying, "Peggy, what do I do?? I feel so lost!" to be able
to call and tell her how really, really good things are now and
not NEED any comforting or saving. I could just talk to her
and enjoy her presence and cry a little from the joy of having her
in my life again.
Really, really good stuff.
So look at the little baby tugging away at
the bluebell at the top of this page (I'll wait, go on, scroll up
~ playing on hold music while you go). That's me, baby.
Today (you won't hear this often, so put down your drink, swallow,
sit down and brace yourself), I'm going to take this house by the
balls (by the bluebells?) and give it the cleaning of a lifetime.
I got some really good sleep last night (yes, it's on the thank
you list) and I feel just so good today. It's almost 9am and
Eric is sleeping in late (after 12 days straight of working long
hours), so I'm going to make some coffee in the percolator for him
to have when he gets up and then I'm going to (after making the
coffee, not after he gets up, which won't likely be for a couple
of hours) start cleaning like mad. I'm even going to clean
the garage when he gets up (which is pre-arranged with him, so
that's a done deal). The thing is that the garage is SO bad
that even when my house is clean and laundry is done, I can never
feel that my work is finished because I know that horrible garage
is just one door away. After I go through it today and throw
out a LOT of stuff (we're having the big garbage pick up on the
24th in our neighborhood) and organize the rest (got my tape!
got my sharpies! got my hammer and nails and I can hang a
LOT on the walls!) and get it all nice, when I do have laundry
done and house clean, I can go to bed with a sense of completion.
Work is done. You don't think the garage can be that bad?
Oh honey, don't kid yourself. If we don't have a place for
something, it gets thrown on the pile in the garage and the door
gets closed. You could not walk from one end of my garage to
the other, much less drive a car into it.
See? Told you.
Scary, huh? If I'm not back by Tuesday, you guys come in and
get me, OK? By tonight, it will ALL be done!!! Garage
AND house. (Don't talk to me about laundry yet. I've
still got about 5-6 loads to go but the rest is clean and in
drawers or closets!)
This doesn't happen
often, but when it does, I'm a fool to not take advantage of it.
So think of that little nekkid bebbe as me harnessing this house
by the bluebells and showing it who's boss.
(See you next week.
Send liquor and candy!)
(PS: Happy Harvest! I'm thankful
for you!) (Oh, and just because that little nekkid bebbe is
doing sit ups on the bar below doesn't mean... well, don't get any
ideas. I'm on doing crunches just yet. For now, the