July 22, 2004

Sgt Katrina Housecleaner, reporting for duty!  Nope, I'm not going to clean YOUR house, even if you're my bestest friend.  I also won't babysit anyone not considered grandchild.  So get past that.  I'll love and cuddle your kiddies and babies, but I don't babysit. 
I said I was going to clean my house and by golly, I did.  Sadly, it took two grueling days instead of one and then I had to recover afterwards, but lordy lordy, it got done. 
The hardest part was, of all the dumb stuff, the blinds in the living room.  Greased Lightening (who I met through our mutual friend, Kate Brown) is my friend and cleaned them well, but it was a pain to wash each blind blade.  They don't come down easily, so the ol' bathtub or garden hose tricks were not an option.  Scrubbing down the front of the house and the two front doors (the metal screen one and the wooden one) were a pain also. 
Here's the proof:

This is a Mr Clean Magic Eraser after ONLY doing the chore of scrubbing down the door to the boys' bedroom.  I was scrubbing with little tiny tips of the thing toward the end.

But hey, it's done and the laundry is finished and the house is clean and all I have to do today is maintain it and stay sane.  The kids' room is even clean, including the closet.  Delena's room still needs help, but she doesn't thrive in a clean room, so as long as there is no food or drink rapidly becoming a science experiment in the room and as long as a wide path is kicked to the bathroom that is only accessible through her room, then my fur isn't ruffled.
I also redid the Diva Digest page that has our book reviews on it.  We had about 80 reviews on one page, so I broke them down into 16 categories and made a page for each category.  It took several hours, but it looks a lot better.  Next, I have to just get busy doing some more reviews.
The Diva is still strong, but I had to put her on mute for a while so I could do the heavy house cleaning.  Since Diva is post child raising and the average 42-year-old does not have 4 and 6-year-old little ones at home, she's not into cleaning marker off of furniture and digging old banana peelings out from under the beds (we have a standing rule that the kids are not allowed to eat in their rooms, which equates out to "hide it and it never happened").  As soon as the house was clean, she was back in full force. 
To paraphrase a popular phrase of the time, "How is your Diva hand?"  "My Diva hand is STRONG!!"
The kids have settled down into their somewhat normal selves, which is an incredible relief.  Tonight is Hamburger Night in Grizzly Flats and they always look forward to that.
Plus, I don't have to cook.
I don't enjoy cooking any more.  I like to cook the things that I can make better than the restaurants, like strawberry pie.  Otherwise, I prefer people cook for me.  I'm just done with it.  I started cooking for families 32 years ago and I'm just done.  Diva was done with it.
I do it because I know my family enjoys it, but my heart just isn't in it any more.
I loved a story that was in my son, Joe's journal.  He lives in Victoria, Canada:
I can't decide if I like or hate nature.

Mostly I hate it. I generally don't like being outside.

But I do like the sun. The sun is pretty cool. I don't like snow. In fact, I HATE snow. I don't like Raccoons. They're dicks. One time there was a Raccoon in my backyard at like, 7 in the morning. Usually I just see them creeping around at night like the skuzzy pieces of shit they are. But this one was out during the day. It was weird. I thought it was a big fucking cat, but then it like, looked at me with it's evil little Raccoon eyes.

I don't know why I capitalize the word Raccoon. But I do. Deal with it.

Anyway, so I'm looking at this fucking thing in my backyard, and I decide I don't like it being in my backyard, so I yelled at it to try and scare it away. The Raccoon looked at me and say "fuck you dude, quit yelling. it's 7 in the motherfucking morning"

So I ran at it waving my arms like "ARRRGGHH!!!" and it was all "pfft" and it started to walk away. It stopped and looked back at me again so I started walking towards it, on accounta I had put the fear of Joe into it.

So it kept walking. Eventually it got to the corner of the fence. I figured it would jump up the fence and over into Dan's yard and then our business would be done.

It TRIED to do that, but it couldn't make it. It only scratched up the fence and then landed on the ground. I had it cornered. I was about eight feet away from it.

Then the fucking thing RAN at me, really fast.

Then I screamed like a woman and ran inside really quick and locked the door. Just in case it tried to get in.

I definitely don't like Raccoons.

I like bats though. Bats are cool. And ladybugs. Ladybugs are pretty awesome. Also caterpillars.

I don't like wasps though. Or ants. Ants suck.

I also don't like places that don't have shade. Like the beach. Fuck the beach. I only go to the beach if I can swim, and you can't do that here because this is Canada and the water is freezing cold. So I don't go to the beach, even though I live five minutes from it.

I also don't really like geese. They're annoying.

I don't believe in recycling either. And I love eating animals. I'd eat anything. I'd eat dog. I'd eat horse. I'd eat rat if it tasted good. I'd probably eat monkey if it tasted good.

Just so long as I don't have to meet the animal first. And so long as it doesn't look like the animal by the time I get it. I don't like to eat stuff that still looks like it was when it was alive.

Like fish. And lobster. And whole pigs.

Hamburgers are awesome, because they're flat and round and don't look anything like a cow. Same goes for chicken. Chicken is just a ball of delicious meat.

Even Turkey. Even though it still KIND of looks like a live turkey, it doesn't REALLY. Mostly it just looks like a big brown ball with weird handles.

I don't like reaching my hand up the turkey's beaver and pulling out the neck and the jiblits. that shit is gross. I feel like a turkey OBGYN when I do that.

Now it is time for me to sleep.
I loving having kids who make me laugh.  In a world where there aren't nearly enough amusing things, I had to birth and train my own entertainment.
I did get a good laugh out of a new commercial for a drug called "Relacore" that says, "Why did your last diet fail?"  "Um, because I didn't exercise worth a damn, sat on my ass and ate?"  Yep, I'm guessing that's it. 
"Have you got fat around your belly, hips and thighs?"  "Um, yep, that's where it landed.  I can't say I'm particularly fat in my head or my heels.  Definitely belly, hips and thighs with a generous offering of butt thrown in." 
I can't believe that harvest is only a week or so away, August 1st.  It will go on until October 31st, with the harvests from our own efforts coming in between August 1st and September 21st and the "boon" harvest, blessings from the Universe, come in between September 21st and October 31st.  It's an exciting time of year, when we begin to see the fruit of our labors coming in.  My bean died, all in one day.  At Spring Equinox, we planted actual bean seeds to symbolize our goals we wanted to create this year.  I planted abundance, prosperity and healthy weight loss.  Two of the beans grew, then died, even though they received the exact, same care as the one that thrived.  It produced a sweet little bean.  One day, it was green and healthy and the next, it was dried and brown and the bean was gone.  I took it to mean that the harvest was in place, the bean had done its symbolic job and all was well.  I think the changes I've felt in the past two weeks were very instrumental in the integration of the harvest and for that, I'm really grateful.
I feel really, really good and have a lot of hope for the future.  Eric loves his new job and is doing well, despite the driving of hours and hours in the commute.  My next effort will be to manifest a better car for him to drive in since it's well over 100 degrees and he doesn't have an air conditioner in our current car.   I wish I could do so without incurring a huge car payment and giant leap in insurance, but if that's what I have to do, then I'll do it. 
Things are blessedly quiet (again).  It's taken a good week and a half to get things back to normal after my vacation and I'm happy to ease back down into the comforts of my life.  Nature is alive and busy outside and I'm grateful that although it gets really hot here, we're about 15 degrees lower than in town.  I really hate extreme temperatures to the hot or the cold.  I have since I was a little kid.  I never enjoyed getting bundled up and going outside to play in the snow.  As a young woman, I never enjoyed "laying out" in the sun and only did so as a means to an end (to get a bitchin tan, back when that meant something to me).  The entire time I was on the lawn chair, spritzing with a water bottle, slathering myself with coconut scented oil and sweating myself stupid, my inside self was screaming to get out of my own skin and run back inside where the cool air lived.  Spring and Fall are my favorite times of year.  The scents are so strong, not buried by snowfall and ice cover and not fried away by the intense sun.  The weather is perfect and the world is in transition, emerging or going into a brand new state.  It's in those times that all things seem possible.  I mean, all things ARE possible, but it's much more tangible when the reflection in nature is so distinct and obvious.
On that happy note, I think 85 degree is plenty of incentive to turn on my air conditioner.  Got a bit of a sheen on and I don't do well with sheen.
I hope you have a splendid weekend and emerge happy and sated into Monday.
All My Love,