June 22, 2004

This is Georgia.  She's my sweetie.  In my whole adult life, Georgia is my most long term, consistent "in real life" best friend.  In this picture, she looks a lot like Dharma's best friend, Jane and yes, there's some of Jane in her.  She's loving and she's wise and she's so much fun.  Everyone should have a Georgia in their life... in all their lives.  She's the one that even if you never do call her in the middle of the night to come rescue you, you could and she would.  She's the one they wrote the following for:  "A good friend will bring you bail money when you're in jail.  A great friend will be sitting in the cell beside you saying, "Wow. That was awesome."  She listens when I need her to listen, tells me when I'm screwed up in the head and takes my side no matter what (even when she's telling me that I'm screwed up in the head for being on that side).  In all the years we have been friends, I have never once felt Georgia distance herself from me in any way for even a second or felt any wavering in her absolute support of me as a friend.  She does all of that without ever being needy or intrusive.  She is the perfect friend and I do not say that lightly. 

I love her dearly.

She is moving away.  Technically, I moved away first.  She's now an hour and a half from me, but that's still visiting range.  Now she's moving to Washington, sometime next week.  House is sold and packed up, life here is being taped up and packed away and she's moving bravely into a new world.

I am so happy for her.

She is the kind of person who is going to do well no matter where she is or what she's doing.  She could be in cell block 8 and in a week's time, she'd have everyone whipped into shape and doing her bidding, inmates and prison staff alike.

I will miss her immensely.  Sure, she's still online, but it's just not the same.  She'd better get a job that lets her keep AIM running all day, that's all I've got to say.

I've said goodbye to a lot of people in my life.  It mostly started when I left home at 16 in 1978.  I flew to Guam to be with my new husband, Paul.  Several people were at the airport and I went down the line, saying goodbye.  It was harder than I imagined. 

After that, I spent pretty much 22 years as a military wife.  I had a few years of single parenthood in there, but since I was moving all over the place during that time, it was very similar.  When you're in the military, people come into and go out of your life as a matter of course.  You expect that all relationships are terminal and in the back of your mind, you adjust your affections accordingly.  Sure, every time you leave a base or on the other end of the stick, your friends leave, you hug and say you'll keep in touch and you mean it, but it usually ends up with the same results as when you leave High School or College and swear you'll always be there for one another.  Some times you are; most times you aren't. 

In all that time, I've gotten pretty good at letting people go.  Some are harder than others, but I have found that overall, letting go is a challenge, but it is wise if that's where life is taking you.  I've dragged out many friendships far past the point where it was obvious that our time together was done, just because I knew I would miss them if they were gone.  Having zombie friendships that died a long time ago but are still walking around is a hard way to go.

A long while back, I found this and then haven't seen it since.  If it's yours, thanks for the wisdom it has given:

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

As it says, the trick is finding out who is who.  Georgia is definitely a lifetime friend.

Another good one is:

Life is like a cattle drive.  You start out from your point of origin with a working team.  Some will leave along the way and others will join.  When you get to your destination, there will those who have endured the whole trip, some who have joined you along the way for the long haul and others who join, give their all, then part ways.  No one contribution is greater or lesser than the others and all work together to further the cause.  Similarly, we have friends that join us for a season, some that join us for a reason and others that join us for a lifetime.  Whatever contribution they make to us and we to them is to be cherished and when/if the time comes to part, we release them with love.  

So yeah, I've done some releasing in my time.  I miss the vast majority of them. There have been several times I've made a staunch effort to reconnect with people I loved from the past and almost invariably, it has been a wonderful reconnect, then promptly settled back into the oblivion where it was before we reconnected.  It was as though a ghost came out, walked around, and then settled back into its grave once again.  It's like the movie/book, Pet Sematary.  You can bury something and then try to raise it from the dead, but when it comes back, although it might look like what you buried, a little worse for the wear, perhaps, it's really just a whole different beast.  I'm sure there are times that it's better, but that isn't usually the case, from what I've seen.

With all of that behind me, I have gotten better at trusting when I'm being shown that it's time to let go.  I'm grateful for all of the wonderful "in real life" people I have known in my life.  I've been friends and sometimes "best friends" with some really amazing, special people.  I miss them all and I cherish the memories I made with them. 

Georgia represents the last of my nonCoven friends (and she started out as a Coven friend) that I see "recreationally."  For now, it's the close of a part of my life until new friends come along.  I can feel change hanging heavy in the air and I welcome it, despite the sacrifices it asks of me.  What kind of hypocrite am I if I trust God and Goddess in all things... until it comes to something I don't like, then I fight it to death?  Nope, I have to accept this too as being for the greatest good and let it go with peace and love.  I'll miss her but I feel as though I will see her again.  She won't just fade away like so many others and we'll be e-mailing like mad.  Since I moved, we haven't seen a lot of each other, so not much will change in that respect.  Even when we lived 20 minutes from one another, we still burned up the e-mail and messaging programs.  So no, I know I won't "lose" her; the chances of movies and pedicures and lunches is what's faded away.  :)  Change happens.  We adjust and accept and expect the very, very best.

This move is good for Georgia and I can accept that and I do expect the very, very best for both of us.

But lordy, I'll miss her.

We had a very wonderful "see you later" lunch today.  I managed to keep it to just tearing up and not actually going the distance with the big ploppy, sobby stuff.  It was tough, but I made it through. 

Be happy, Georgia.  You're still my beeznatch.


There are places I remember
 all my life.
Some have changed,
some forever, not for better.
Some have gone and some remain.
All these places have their moment.
With lovers and friends I still can recall,
Some are dead and some are living.
And in my life I've loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers
there is no one who compares with you.
And these memories loose there meaning,
when I think of love, and something new
although I know I will never lose affection
for people and things that went before.
I now often stop and think about them
In my life I've loved them all.

Though I know I'll never lose affection
for people and things that went before.
I now often stop and think about them
In my life I've loved them more.
In my life I've loved them all.

by John Lennon & Paul McCartney



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