June 10, 2004
(Bit of a load time on this one)
First and most
importantly, Eric was able to file his
claim without incident and it is now finalized (hurray!). He
is one VERY happy hubby.
My son, Joe, writes the
journal of a fictional character called Hardcore Billiam who is fairly
popular on LiveJournal. When the magazine "Yahoo Internet Life" was
still alive, they did a 5 page article on the character. Billiam is
indeed, "hardcore" and to me is hilarious. He's a white Jewish boy
from Canada who is a hardcore rapper. Joe has always believed that
the movie "Malibu's Most Wanted" was stolen from Billiam's personality,
which had been online for quite some time when it came out. Billiam
is fun, but not for the light of heart due to some VERY graphic discussion
that is integral to Billiam's personality. One of the best columns
was on MILFs. I didn't know what a MILF was until Joe and Eric
enlightened me. MILF stands for "Moms I'd Like to F***."
In all fairness, I figured
if they get MILFs. I want some DILFs (Dads...). I spent
most of yesterday thinking on this, coming up with "the rules," conferring
with my brain trust and assembling the list of Katrina's Top Ten DILFs.
The rules are very simple.
First, it has to be a character, not a celebrity, who is a dad. The
dads are limited to TV dads and not movie dads. The TV shows are
limited to ones that I watch, which sadly has eliminated some guy named
Jack Bristow on "Alias" who I should evidently investigate.
Here are my Top Ten DILFs:
Hal Wilkerson, "Malcolm in the Middle"
Why should Lois have all the fun? This
guy is just a wildcat waiting to happen.
I hope the chandeliers are reinforced.
Jack Arnold, "The Wonder Years"
When I decided in the late 1990's that
I wanted a husband, he and Dennis Miller were my
patterns. Eric pretty much fits the bill on a combination
of the two. Jack was hard working, long suffering and
I'll be he made up for all that angst in the sack.
Gomez Addams, "The Addams Family"
It just doesn't matter who plays him.
Sure, Raul Julia was in a MOVIE and not TV, but I include his photo
only as vital evidence of Gomez's extreme DILFability. You
there is NO doubt that our man Gomez was into some seriously
kinky shit. Cara mia, baby!
Perry Cox, "Scrubs"
Just the name drums up all kinds of mental images.
How could you NOT want a thorough physical exam
from a guy named "Dr Cox?" Perry is so desperate he'd
definitely give a good and enthusiastic effort.
And he'd be ever so grateful.
And would likely want to try
Doug Ross, "ER"
Yes, I know he didn't become a father when he
was actually on the show, but his character did
father children on the show and he did a guest
shot afterwards, so STOP MESSIN WITH MY PIG!
If you're going to get technical, in an early
episode, he told a patient he had a son and
it was never mentioned again. So there.
Doug Ross goes on the list and that's all there
is to it.
Walter Bannerman, "The Dead Zone"
Adopted dads count.
Poor Walt lives his life knowing he's second choice.
He needs to feel like he's #1 for a little while and
I know just the gal to elevate his status.
Looking like that, he should never be
treated as #2.
Tom Corbett, "The Courtship of Eddie's
My little pubescent hormones got all in an uproar
over this guy and nothing has changed. I'd give
"Mr. Eddie's Father" a new best friend.
Charles Ingalls, "Little House on the
Something tells me there was some
Big Wood in that Little House
Christian Troy, "Nip/Tuck"
I watched it twice.
We *think* he's
Commander Benjamin Sisko, "Deep Space
[insert Beavis and Butthead laughter here]
"Deep" and "Nine" in the same title tells the story.
I'd have to do him last in case I "can't go back"
Gotta get the other nine happy first.
Don't worry. This guy is safe.
I just wish he'd hurry home.
Frickin' ragin' menopausal renegade hormones.