March 26, 2004

Into the seemingly never ending chain of days where "we should know something definitive today," I forge another link.  The good news is that regardless, we should be moving into THE house next week and in place by the first (no more rent here, no more looky-loo real estate clients!).  The questions is whether we are buying or renting and if we are renting, for how long.  Our loan agent has secured us a loan for 85% of the cost and he and our real estate agent are working creatively to make that be enough and possibly even get us some cash back on the loan, which we very much need.  If the loan issue doesn't work, the sellers are willing to rent to us on lease option or just rent to us.  They have two mortgages and just want to get out from under one of them by the first when their next payments are due.  So yes, we move next week, which is much of a relief to know.  Now, it's just down to specifics.

I want to again thank everyone for their love, support, prayers, well wishes and advice.  I don't think I could have made it through without that network of support.  Eric accuses me of escaping into the computer to avoid dealing with reality and it's hard to explain to him that I'm using the computer to actually deal with reality. 

I also want to thank St Jude and the powers that be (do I sound like I should be thanking the Academy next?) for helping things along.  It really was a lost cause and when he popped in via those stickers this week to tell me he was on the case, he wasn't kidding. 

Next comes a big thanks to a couple of my staff members who got together and mailed me Wal-Mart gift cards!  That is going to help out so much.  I think they must have looked into my bank account and saw the moths and dustbunnies blowing around in there and flew to my rescue.  Thanks to my friend, Maureen, who really broke her back to get us a loan, even if it didn't work out.  Also, Delena's biological dad has been kicking in child support that always hits at the perfect time every month.  I've been so focused on actually getting the house, that I neglected to think about getting things like, um, money for the U-haul moving truck, setting up utilities, little stuff like that.  Talk about fixated.  I'm really frustrated that I didn't much think of that.  >:<  Anyway, I'm on it now!   Eric's very last unemployment check is on its way and will almost cover that homeowners insurance thing I told you about.  I'm trusting that it will all work out.  The guys have been told a couple of times that they'll be starting the new subdivisions in a week or so, but they haven't gotten an actual date yet.  Once they get started on those, they'll get paid in a month or so and from there on out, he'll have regular income, which will be an amazing relief.  That tells me that in a matter of a couple of months, we'll have steady income and a steady home.  I can hardly wait.  It's just the journey there that's sketchy.  I have complete faith that it will all work out.  St Jude is working overtime for me.  To honor that, I actually got this from e-bay:

It was only $4 with postage, so I'll wear it to honor what I've received (or am about to receive).

The real estate agent told me we should know what we're doing in the next day or so, which means we're back to waiting, the difference being that I'm going to be packing while I'm waiting this time!  It's going to be odd to drive up to a house that is MINE that I've only seen in photographs.  Eric is very savvy about my tastes, so I know he did a fine job and just through the pictures, I can tell the house is my home.  It's just a matter of getting there.  Now I feel like I could nap nonstop until time to go.

In the meantime, since napping isn't really an option, I found another of these things in a friend's journal, so I'll kill off some time with it.

By the way, if you're still in the Crimson Room, feel free to write for suggestions and I'll talk you through it.

LAYER ONE: The Basics

Name: Katrina M. Rasbold
Birth date: September 5, 1961
Birthplace: Augusta, Ky in the basement of my grandmother's church
Current Location: Sacramento, CA, soon to be Grizzly Flats, CA
Eye Color: Hazel
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Height: 5-5 or so
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Virgo...with a Cancer moon and a Scorpio rising 

LAYER TWO: On The Inside

Your heritage: I'm from Pleasant Ridge, Kentucky, but the Chapmans, my birth family, are of British descent.
Shoes you wore today: So far, it's fuzzy slippers.
Your weakness: My computer, my kids & hubby (I'd do about anything for them), movies, going out to eat
Your fears: snakes (absolutely unreasonably terrified of them), losing my husband or kids, death (yes, you'd think not, huh?), not having time alone to think and process,  having my identity lost in the shuffle of life.
Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni, extra cheese, easy on the sauce, preferably thin crust, preferably Pizza Hut
Goal you'd like to achieve: Writing a book or 10.

LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow

Your most overused phrase on AIM: "Pfft" or "cool"
Your thoughts first waking up: What day is it?
Your best physical feature: My eyes.
Your bedtime: 10pm or so.


Pepsi or Coke: Diet Coke.  My favorite drink is Red Fusion or Real Dr Pepper
McDonald's or Burger King: Either, love them both.  McDonalds would like win, but not by much.
Single or group dates: Single.
Adidas or Nike: Shoes are shoes
Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: Lipton.
Chocolate or vanilla: A mix of both, if not, then vanilla.  I don't much care for straight chocolate anything.
Cappuccino or coffee: Neither.  I don't like coffee or anything java/coffee flavored


Smoke: No
Cuss: Quite well, thank you.
Sing: Only if I have to.  Never really by choice.
Take a shower everyday: Usually only every other day.  Bad for old dry skin.
Have a crush(es): Yeah.
Like(d) high school: Hated it.
Want to get married: Not again, no.  If Eric and I were to split, I doubt I'd ever marry again.
Believe in yourself: Totally.
Get motion sickness: Quite easily.
Think you're attractive: Yes, although not as many agree with me as I'd like.
Think you're a health freak: No
Like thunderstorms: Love them.
Play an instrument: Piano and guitar by ear, but not very well.

LAYER SIX: In the past few months have you...

Drank alcohol: Yes, I think.  I can't remember.  (must be an alcoholic black out)
Smoked: Nope.
Done a drug: Yes.
Made Out: Had sex, yes.  Made out, not that I would qualify as making out, sadly.
Gone on a date: Yes.
Gone to the mall?: Unfortunately, yes.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: I've never eaten a whole package of Oreos in my life.
Eaten sushi: Never have.
Been on stage: Nope.
Been dumped: Nope.
Gone skating: I don't skate.
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Dyed your hair: Yes, 2 days ago.
Stolen anything: No.
Lied: Probably, but I can't remember any right off hand.


Played a game that required removal of clothing: No
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes
Been called a tease: No and I don't ever want to be.  Leading a person on is pretty cold.
Gotten beaten up: No, but been knocked around a bit.
Shoplifted: Yes. I went through quite a larcenous phase in my 20's.

LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older

Age you hope to be married: From here on out.
Numbers and Names of Children: Joe is 26, David is 24 in May, Josh is 22 in May, Delena is 11, Dylan is 6 and Nathan is 4.
Describe your dream wedding: Big Pagan festival, lots of friends and family, traditional handfasting.
How do you want to die: Old age, satisfied with life, going to sleep and just not waking up.  I lieu of that, I'd like to wake up and be conscious enough to say something really cool ("Either that wallpaper goes or I go"  "May God strike me dead if this isn't true") then croak.
What do you want to be when you grow up: A successful writer, happy.
What country would you most like to visit: England again, but with money this time.  Ireland so I can hang out with Janet Farrar for a while.

LAYER NINE: In a girl/guy?

Best eye color? No preference, just soulful.
Best hair color?: I prefer dark, but salt and pepper is nice too.
Short or long hair: I don't care for really, really short or really, really long.  Something in between.
Height: Taller than me.
Best first date location: Nice dinner to get to know each other, then a movie with potential for grazing, then hand holding, then an accidentally found, tentative kiss, then making out.  The dark is good for removing inhibitions.

LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...

Number of people I could trust with my life: Not sure about that one.  Maybe no one.  Maybe a lot.  I think when push comes to shove, it's hard to tell.
Number of CDs that I own:  Lots.
Number of piercings: 4, two in each ear.
Number of tattoos: Two butterflies, one on top of my left wrist and one on my left boob.  I promise I don't lean to the left.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Not sure.  A few.
Number of scars on my body: Lost count.  I had a severe burn on my right lower arm and onto my hand when I was 16.  It left quite a scar that has faded with age, but you can see it if you try.  Lots of little scars.  A couple from my tubal ligation.  One on my right index finger from a glass breaking while I was washing dishes.  I'm sure there are tons others.
Number of things in my past that I regret: Plenty.


We were supposed to have someone looking at the house yesterday at 4:30, but like lots of others, they never showed up (who says magic doesn't work?).  I don't care who comes after I'm gone.  For now, I want my privacy.  Eric is working again today, installing a camera at a rock quarry.  He's doing work and billing people, it's just slow paying in construction. 

Delena is over the moon that this is the last Friday she'll spend at this school. She's very eager to leave and start a new life. Dylan is still a little sad, but seems OK. 

So that's where it is.  I gotta get geared up for this, get boxes, get money and get going!

This time next week, I should be writing to you from Grizzly Flats!  (Provided I can get phone service for internet in time!  But hey!  There are still callas left to bloom!)

BTW, the new radio station in town (not a new station per se, but a new music format - all 80's music) is having a contest.  You can win $10,000 for naming the station.  Any ideas?  It's 103.9, the...


In CB speak, 10:39 (their FM dial number) means "Your message was received."  I was thinking of trying to work from that.

I could really put $10,000 to use.  Lord knows I would pay EOS bandwidth costs for a few years.  :)

I've worked out hard for a week now... 20 minutes on the exercise bike at 11 mph is hard for me and I didn't think I could do it, but I did.  It didn't get any easier, either, surprisingly.  Usually, it does after a few days.  I watched what I ate and carefully combined and balanced my carbs and proteins.  I cheated ONCE, mind you, ONCE and ate a handful of robin eggs.  I did it on purpose and with malice of forethought.  I made potato skins and only had THREE because that's all that would balance into my healthy diet without tilting the scales.

I gained 10 pounds.  I weighed again today in case it was a fluke water gain thing.  I'm taking a water pill and drinking extra water just in case.  Harrumph.

Isn't that like having a nine pound baby and only losing 4 pounds?


No, I'm not smaller in inches either. 

I'm just... me.

This isn't helping my mood.   

Happy about my house!  Bummer about the weight.  >:<   Did I sleepwalk and pig out or something?  If I'm going to gain 10 pounds, I'd really like to have some conscious fun doing it!


Love & thanks for the prayers,

PS:  If your e-mail to me contains the words "penis" "cock" or "viagra," it's likely going to be filtered out.  I'm getting a gazillion spams for generic viagra and penis enlargements and since Eric isn't interested, I'm getting tired of reading them and being teased.  I haven't filtered out 'peepee' yet, so that one's a go if you want to rephrase.