February 25, 2004

It was a dark and stormy day...and I loved every minute of it.  If it wasn't so damned cold outside, I'd have the doors and windows open to blow the house out a bit.  It's very windy and rainy and has that "winds of change" feel to it.  The finest thing in the world is to let those kinds of winds clear out the energy in your house while you burn a nice sage stick to help it along.  Maybe I'll just bundle up and do it anyway.  :)

[Insert shivery passage of time]

*Whew!*  That was exhilarating.  Flew open the doors and windows, lit a sage stick in one hand and a cedar stick in the other and just let the winds have at it.  After about 10 minutes of it (I buried Nathan under a blanket.  It's a freezing 54 degrees out there!), the house is much fresher and... I dunno... more hopeful.  Somehow, the saging out of a place makes all things seem possible again.

I wasn't really giving into anything like despair, but I was feeling a sense of stagnation and that is gone now.  I'm feeling much more tuned into the new things coming in now.

I'm wondering how many times you should have to tell a kid "don't burn things."  I should have known he was trouble when he displayed a penchant for eating the tops off of matches.  He is drawn to anything remotely like fire anywhere.  If I burn up, he did it.

Speaking of Nathan, he starts school on Monday.  He's my youngest and I expected to feel some kind of major apprehension about him going, but I feel very at peace with it.  Overall, I detest sending my kids to school.  I definitely see the benefit academically because lord knows my skills for elementary school are a good 35+ years old.  I can still do the basics, but a lot of the things that Delena does in 6th grade are out of my league and some dim memory.  It's better for Eric, being 15 years younger than I am, but he's not available for ongoing instruction.  When I send my kids to school, I feel as though I'm shoving them into a sausage grinder of "The Man" where peer pressure, bullying, disgruntled teachers who are burned out and underpaid and major popularity issues rule.  Since my kids all tend to march to a different drummer, they end up on the outside looking in more often than not.  Oddly, Dylan is the exception and I expected that he'd be the one to take the most flack.  He seems to have lots of friends and get along well with everyone.  He loves school and never gives any hesitation going out the door. 

Nathan is a wild card about this.  He's been begging to go to school for months now and asks about it every day.  He's seen how much Dylan loves it and is really eager.  He's also really attached into me and might panic when he gets there.  Eric is taking him to ease the separation anxiety.  OK, maybe I'm a little edgy, but overall, I think I'm cool.  We've been spending good time together during this week.  He's a sweetie.  He just burns things.  Go figure.

My house is in dire need of cleaning, which is my next move after this entry.  I'm pretty good at whipping through it quickly and still giving a good show.  I think I'm going to do the antithesis to my friend, Carolyn's column.  Carolyn is the undisputed, obsessive Diva of Clean.  I could be the Diva of Slovenly, showing people all the shortcuts to make your house look cleaner than it is. 

I woke up at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep, likely because I crashed soundly at 9pm (a couple of hours early for me).  Went through the bills that are screaming loudest, did some spellwork for it and tabled everything until Monday.  Amazing things can happen in 5 days.  Tra la.

Anyway, now I'm all tired and taking after eating tuna casserole for an early lunch.  Nathan found out I was making it for lunch and got all kinds of eager for it, so I made it early.  Now I'm drowsy and wanting to cuddle under my covers and snooze a few hours away.  Naps are so glorious, especially in a storm.

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(needs speakers)




For those who follow my other site, The Diva Digest, it has been updated all around (for the first time since October or so).  What can I say?  Divas get busy and can't be chained to a computer chair!  (That's the theory, anyway).  It's at www.thedivadigest.com.

Eric really got me yesterday.  >:<  He said, "I know we don't have much time or money, but I know of a wonderful thing we can do this weekend for a good break!"  [insert me getting really bubbling and excited over the idea of actually doing something]  "Placer county is having a snake lick."


We should all be so lucky.

Time to go nail myself to a cross in sacrifice to the House Cleaning Gods.  Hard thing with being a martyr is that the last hand... man it's a bitch to get nailed. 

Someone stop me.


OK, where are you people?


Pfft.   OK then.


Love ya anyway,