February 2, 2005
I am so incredibly, inescapably bored. I know it's the restlessness that comes with this time of year. Today is the Witchy holiday of "Imbolg" which means "in the belly." It's the quickening of new life and the return of warmth to the world. It's nice and springy outside and I can feel a new way of life coming. It's not just the relief from some of the financial strain that the refinance brought. It's something different that is burgeoning and bulging and waiting to burst out. I am tremendously excited by the prospect and it has left me with an antsy, bored feeling.
There is plenty I can do, don't get me wrong. I have about 8 loads of clothes to fold and put away (all washed already). My house needs a basic cleaning. I've been working my way through a few hundred e-mails that came while I was away on vacation. I've made good progress, but I'm blind from looking at them.
Eric has lost his wedding ring (about a week and a half now), which evidently slipped out of his jeans pocket a week ago last Saturday. He put it in there when he was washing dishes (the soapy water makes it too loose) and never saw it again. I've looked all over the house, even down to taking the vacuum cleaner bag apart and sifting through it. I flipped over the couches, looked through and under the bed, checked by the chair where he sits to smoke... no luck. He's pretty upset about it. I should likely give the house and immediate grounds outside one more good shake down for it.
What I really want to do is crawl into bed and sleep. I don't feel caught up from the lost sleep over the weekend and it is glorious to sleep during the day when the kids are gone. They're back in just over an hour.
I did our taxes and they came out well. I was concerned since Eric drew so much unemployment last year. We should get our refund next Friday, but I've heard of incidences this year where the direct deposits do not happen when the IRS says they will happen, so I'm not holding my breath.
We've had such great weather that most of the snow is melted and we are actually having mail delivered again. There is still a good bit out in the far back yard, but we can at least walk around the house without falling into the drifts. It's quite nice out, in the 50's, most days. I'd like to believe that we're over the hump since it's only 6 weeks until Spring Equinox, but I think we've likely got at least one more go of it. Winter is definitely my least favorite season, particularly up here. I can accept it as a necessary part of life, but I've never enjoyed extremes in any season. This has been fairly extreme. I do have to admit that since the snow has melted and unwrapped the trees and earth, the smells of nature out there are just amazing, so pungent and rich it makes me all swoony. It's such a contrast to the smog and ick of Los Angeles. I wouldn't trade my home for anywhere else. That's how I know it's really my home. Remember how much I bitched and griped about being so isolated and living so far from everything? I tell you, it's bizarre how much more the Universe knows about what we need than we do sometimes and is perfectly willing to drag us, kicking and screaming, to our greatest joy.
My cat's ass is threatening to drop out of his body again. It's a little puffy and sore looking, but I'm telling myself that it's just a minor infection from the surgery (he just went off his antibiotics over the weekend. I'm going to start dousing it with some peroxide (that should get his attention). He's very spry and energetic, but he was spry and energetic with a half foot of intestines trailing behind him as well. Not much gets him down, I guess.
BLLLAAAHHHHHH. A hot bath didn't help. Caffeine didn't help. This time, B-12 didn't help (I never miss a day any more). I just want to veg out. I was like that Monday and Tuesday as well. Eric was funny this morning. He said, all tentative like, "Um, do you think, um, that you might, um, get the laundry finished up today?" Then he cringed and flinched. Goddess bless'im. That pretty much locks me into getting it done. It was a very well calculated move on his part, I must say.
Ahhh. Where did the day go? Time to get busy!
February 1, 2005
Hurray! I'm so glad to be back! I hated not being able to write for so many days!
We left out Thursday after noon and allll the way down the kids talked and talked and talked and talked. I felt like eating my foot off to escape from the trap of the jeep. It took almost 8 hours to get to LA (Note to Kathy Hardeman: We'll be looking at about 7) and we finally rolled in around 8:45pm. Joe and Sandra met us at the hotel and it was so great to see them. We scurried upstairs and got the kids dressed and down into the jacuzzi. The pool was indoors, but not heated, so it was pretty chilly. Of course, as luck would have it, a group was already down there. Ironically, they were from Placerville, which is our closest town (30 minutes away from our home). They were also aggressively dedicated to making sure we had a church home that met with their standards. I cut the soaking short.
We spent the next two days with Joe and Sandra, which was great. We made plans for Joe to come down to visit soon for a couple of weeks (yayy!). On Sunday, we went to see Eric's grandmother and managed to surprise him by having his mother answer the door. She lives in New Jersey, but they were in Palm Springs on business, so she drove out to see him and the kids. He was completely surprised, which was wonderful. We spent the day with them, then headed out around 6pm. We got in at about 2am yesterday. The kids didn't sleep much on the way up, so I kept them home to rest and regroup. Eric also stayed home from work to rest from driving so much.
So today is my first day on my own again. It's great. :)
Oh, word to the wise: Never take Highway 99 from Sacramento to Los Angeles or vice versa. Due to several relatively new industrial strength cow barns (they weren't there 2 years ago), nearly the entire length reeks in varying degrees of "burny fart" to "immersed in a pile of steaming shit." It was horrible. Two words: Highway 5.
Our house sitter did an amazing job and all was well when we got back. I didn't clean yesterday. Just sat around staring at walls, being glad to be home, getting some groceries for the week and lying about. I'll make up for that today by getting things all nice again.
Our refinance loan funded yesterday, so that is finally behind us (for 18 months at least). Eric will pick up the cash out check today and I will start paying bills. Even though the monthly payments are more than we expected, we will still meet our goals of cleaning up our credit, paying off all of our bills except recurring utilities and having a bit of a cushion to fall back on in times of crisis. We'll refinance at a better interest rate in 18 months after upgrading the house a bit. It needs to be painted (desperately) on the outside. Eric is going to deck in one side of the yard and build a green house.
Now that all that is finished, I am eager to relax into the next part of my life. At Yule, I drew out "physical beauty," "abundant health," "joy" and "abundant friendship" to work on this coming year. I had tentatively planned to work on weight loss, so the first two correspond nicely, which leaves the last two as a wonderful bonus. Since I'm not, as far as I know, running a coven for the first time in years and years, I am eager to see where my spiritual life leads me. I know part of it will involve a book I am planning to write on how our particular group does things. It all feels very fresh and new and exciting, especially with the snow melting away, the temperatures rising and our financial situation resolved for the foreseeable future. The feeling is very much one of a door closing on one part of my life and a new one opening, carrying with me into my new life all of the things that are important to me and opening myself to whatever the universe brings.
Ha! A friend of mine titled an entry to her Live Journal "I Hate Steam Burns" and I read it wrong and thought it said, "I Hate Steve Burns." (click here) I was stunned for a minute wondering how anyone could not like my boy, Steve. (ex-host of "Blues Clues" and coolest guy alive)
I've been wading through hundreds of e-mails, so if anyone wrote me and didn't hear back, you will. I'm working my way down the list.
For now, I have to go redeem my house to its former glory.
I'll be around off and on this
week. Take care, all!