January
28, 2004
11pm
Just a
quick update. That nap turned
into light drowsing as I couldn't seem
to find the angle to go to sleep, even
with a lot of tired behind me.
Still, it was great to just relax for
a while. My friend, Maurine,
called me to give me a heads up on
"Butterfly Effect," which Eric and I
were going to go see on a gift
certificate, warning me that it had
some really heavy stuff in it that I
might not want to see (dogs being lit
afire and kiddie porn and such).
I was a little daunted, particularly
after reading some of the online
reviews with Yahoo. We looked
all over for another movie to see and
Eric said he supposed he could see
"Peter Pan" (I'd already seen it and
loved it), so we started planning for
it, but it wasn't showing at the
theater where we had the gift
certificate and "Butterfly Effect" was
the only movie Eric really had an
interest in seeing. He really
tried hard to find another one and
finally I thought, "What am I, twelve?
I can sit through a movie, hide my
eyes if something's coming up I don't
want to see and take a chance."
So that's what we did. I'm so
grateful that I did, because even
though the first half hour was rough,
it all tied in well with the context
of the movie and was completely
appropriate to the direction the story
was taken. As one of the reviews
stated, I definitely wouldn't take a
child to it (even Delena, who is 11
and has a very sophisticated take on
movies), but we both enjoyed it very
much. I have a penchant for time
travel movies, so the subject matter
was of good interest to me.
Ashton was actually pretty good in it
and the progressions through time
based on the changes he made were
appropriate. The ending was
satisfying (which is a major deal for
me... a bad ending can ruin the whole
movie for me - one of the reasons I
h*a*t*e*d the movie "A-I") and a good
time was had by all. There were
only two times I hid my eyes (both
involved the dog) and none where I
should have and didn't. You can
see the icky stuff coming in good time
to duck and it's clear when that
part's over. What I really
appreciated about the movie was that
it showed how key moments in life,
when seized or ignored, can change
your life forever in a really, really
profound way. Good reflective
stuff!!
Eric and I
were all set for a Nerd-a-thon
tonight. The double feature DVD,
"Revenge of the Nerds 1 & 2" came from
Netflix today, but he punked out on me
to go hang out with his partner, Mike
, and celebrate the signing of the
contract tomorrow for the housing
project. I'm sure they are
posturing and male bonding and
whooping a great deal, so it's just as
well he gets all that testosterone
crap out of his system. Caveman
knuckle dragging is something that
bores me to the nth degree, so I take
the opportunity to hit the computer
and get some really good sleep without
my snoring disturbing him.
I know I
snore madly, especially since I put on
these extra pounds in the last year.
I wake myself up several times a
night, but what's worse is that on top
of that, HE wakes me up a few times a
night as well, poking me to roll over
(which does no good because I just
snore away from him, then roll back
over again when I'm fully asleep
again). So it's a long night of
waking myself up, him waking me up,
turning over, turning back, then doing
it all over again and waking up with a
sore throat. The SnoreStop,
which is great stuff, doesn't work any
more at all. I hope it settles
down again as the weight goes away.
I have about 7 pounds to go before I'm
at my old setpoint and I remember that
it was when I lost down to about 5
pounds or so below that that I stopped
snoring as much. It's so
freaking debilitating and
embarrassing. >:< I've
snored my whole life, since I was a
baby (no deviated septum or anything
odd like that... I just snore), but
when I'm overweight, it's really bad.
More than anything at all, I'll be
glad to see that go.
I'm at a
stupid plateau and nothing moved at
all this week. I waver between
9-10 pounds lost, depending on the
day, in 29 days, so almost a month.
That's really good progress, but when
you're as big as I am, it's hard to
see that progress until it's in the
higher numbers. My clothes don't
fit that much different and I don't
really feel that much different.
My elbows are a bit bonier and my
rings are looser. That's about
it. I feel better with the sugar
cleaned out of my body and don't
expect to bring that back full time. I
might have something here or there,
but it will never again be a way of
life, of that I'm certain. Same
thing for bread, which is now more of
a garnish if I have it at all. I
know I can do this forever, so other
than portion control and upping my
exercise (the water issue is handled
as well), it now just comes down to
time invested. Lots and lots of
time.
A really
big thing happened today of which I am
VERY proud. Nathan has been
begging, crying and sobbing every day
for over a month now to go to school
and when the kids leave in the
morning, it takes a little while to
get him redirected and out of his
funk. Two nights ago, Eric and I
were talking about how much we wished
we could afford to get him into a
private preschool so he could have
some socialization and not be as bored
at home. Today, Dylan brought
home a paper saying that the school is
starting up a FREE preschool, starting
March 1st, every morning for three
hours. Enrollment is Monday.
This is just... amazing. I mean,
what are the chances of starting a
program like this in midyear?
And what will I do?? I'll have 3
hours to myself with no kids every
day! I'll also be walking
him to and from school, so that's two
miles of walking a day! Go Go
CARDIO! This is going to be so
good for him and for me too! I'm
going to be there at the first hour of
registration to make sure he gets in!!
(Thank you Goddess!!)
I'm just
very, very giddy about that! I
haven't been alone in my own house
since long before Delena was born in
1992. Not even sure how long
before that. There's always a
child around somewhere. That
will be really wild to be alone!
(NO, I'm not dreading it, I'm eagerly
anticipating it!) No empty nest
syndrome here!
Eric has
sworn before God and Everybody that if
I lay out the kids clothes and get
their lunches ready, he will get up
with them, boot them out the door in
the morning to school and let me sleep
in. Since this NEVER happens,
I'm chalking that one up as a miracle
as well! :)
Time for
me to start down the road that decides
if I sleep or not tonight. With
any luck, this will be a blessed night
and I can sleep all the way through...
ah, the memories of when I could sleep
standing up, leaning against a wall or
on the back of a motorcycle.
Sleep is so precious.
I'm going
to go see if I can find me some of
that.
Below is
the entry from earlier today.
Oh yes!
Don't forget to cast your vote in the
"who's hottest" contest!!
http://eyeonsoaps.com/nonsoapy012504.htm
Good
Night, My Friends!
k
January
28, 2004
11am
I wasn't
able to sleep last night, which has
left me feeling fairly disjointed
today. I drowsed between 9-11,
but couldn't get into a deep sleep.
I flopped around a bit and finally
ended up getting out of bed.
Sometimes, I get this feeling that I
call "running energy" when I feel as
though I've got a bolt of electricity
jammed up my butt looking for a place
to ground. It tends to happen
when something really big is getting
ready to happen.
I did busy
work on the computer, answered some
e-mails, created and posted a column
for a new writer and did some reading.
I took two Vicodin, hoping it would
make me sleepy, but it never did come.
I finally went back to bed a little
after 4am and willed sleep to come.
It did in about a half hour and I got
up at 6:30 to get kiddies ready for
school. I'll likely go nudge
Eric in a bit (sleeping hubby) so he
can watch Nathan and I can catch a few
Zzzz's.
My friend,
Jennifer, gave us movie passes for
Yule and we still haven't used them,
so I'm thinking we'll go see Butterfly
Effect later today. Josh owes me
babysitting. I could stand to
get out of the house. I went out
to get groceries last night, braving
the brakeless car after Eric told me
he *thought* I could probably stop it.
It was fairly harrowing, so I doubt
I'll be venturing out until we get
another car or get this one fixed
unless someone hauls me around.
I feel like an old gramma who has to
be taken out into the sun once a week
whether she needs it or not.
I
even dreamed about the car last night
in the two hours when I slept best
(the morning ones). I was
driving and couldn't get the car to
slow down enough to make the turns I
needed to make and I knew I couldn't
get it to stop all the way, so I'd
never get out. I'll not have to
overponder that one to get the deeper
meaning.
Eric has
finished the last of the side jobs he
and his partner had lined up. He
has one and a half more unemployment
checks coming and they will begin
getting paid for the housing project
in April (was going to be March, but
the ground breaking on the project was
pushed out a bit). They'll start
working the end of February.
Eric can't find his last pay stub, so
we're not able to do a tentative tax
return yet. That will likely be
what holds us through the end of
February. There are several
roads laid for the miracles to follow,
including a couple of venture
capitalists who are expressing
interest in investing in their
company. I've sold a couple of
the
coupon books and have the e-bay ad
up, so that could come through to
create a little bit of money.
I'm not going to worry because there
are so many ways this could turn
around and be something that never
deserved any worry. The past
couple of years have taught me not to
invest in worry until the 11 1/2 hour
and then only as a motivating force,
not as a place to sit and wallow and
feel sorry for myself (although I
still do that once in a while).
I love cats and this
makes me laugh. I'm easy, I
guess.
With that,
I'm going to try and catch a nap while
Eric is up to watch Nathan. I
love naps. They're... lovely.
While I
sleep, I'm going to do what the
heading on this lovely set suggest and
chase the amazing, magical moon as I
sleep. She'll be full in just
over a week, on Friday, the 6th...
full of promise and hope and joy and
bursting with miracles.
I hope you
have a really, really great week.
I'll be around from time to time.
Be...
blessed, be so very, very
blessed,
Katrina
