Comments through Friday, June 11, 2004 
(A spoiler by any other name would still be a spoiler.)

Happy as a clam.  Happy as a lark.  Doing a happy dance.  Happiest man in the world.  Happy as a pig in slop.  As happy as the day is long.  Happy camper.  Don’t worry, be happy.  Happy is as happy does.  Happy as a peacock.  Happy days.  In pursuit of happiness.

Hooray!  A new Smiley was born!          Hooray!  A new Smiley was born!        Hooray!  A new Smiley was born!        Hooray!  A new Smiley was born!

It all began with Courtney plaintively asking Jason after returning his $1,000,000 check, “Are you happy?”  And I replied, “What kinda lame, dufus question is that?”  She knows he’s not happy.  He knows she’s not happy.  They both know that they can feel happy while with others, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the happy between them.  Eye roll disgust filled me at the silliness of that line of dialogue and the rant began writing itself in my head.  It was well underway until about Wednesday when I was struck by a soapy truth.  While it’s true that soap storylines revolve around romance and relationships, the overriding goal driving the stories along is the characters’ quest to find happiness or make a loved one happy.  I challenge you to watch for a week and keep track of how many times the word “happy” is used.  I’d challenge me to rewatch all of last week’s episodes and count, but I’m too lazy.

She should have asked him something important like,

“Got milk?” 

Courtney wonders if Jason is happy marrying Sam.

Jason wants Courtney to be happy even if she’s hangin’ with Jax.

Sam yearns for Sonny but wants his happiness above her own.

Everyone wants Michael to be happy.  Apparently, Michael’s happiness is key in Port Chuckles.

Sonny wants his children and family to be happy as long as they do as he says.

Lorenzo supports Carly with Sonny because he loves her and wants her to be happy.

Georgie will stay away from the recording studio so Dillon can produce a video and be happy.

Mary worried about the happiness of the people from whom she’s stealing Nikolas.

Mary intently questioned Emily about Jason’s happiness and the happiness of the people who love him.

Emily begs info from Jason.  Is he happy with his life now?

ConNik couldn’t tell Mary about hypnosis because he didn’t want to upset her or make her unhappy.

Jax wants Jax to be happy.

Alexis favored Jax with a hug and a wish for his happiness.

Need I go on?



A week’s worth of happy faces. 

Who is happy became the question of the week.  If they could only be happy their lives would be perfect.  What’s up with that?  Are YOU happy?  I am, quite a bit of the time even when my life isn’t running smoothly, perfect.  Happy is nice, but if I allowed myself to become a slave to my feelings like on a soap, I rather feel content.  What’s better than waking from a nap and feeling inner peace; finishing a job that took painstaking hours fills me with satisfaction; or how about the relief and contentment when I finally find the 16 cents that’s keeping my checkbook from balancing.  Peace, satisfaction, and contentment are harder to attain but infinitely more rewarding.  I can be happy all day long even when things go wrong so being happy doesn’t present an overwhelming goal for me.  However, in Port Bliss-Charles it’s a different story.  Happy is allll they’re lookin’ for.

Stalked, stalk·ing, stalks (v. tr.) 1.  To pursue by tracking stealthily; 2.  To follow or observe (a person) persistently, especially out of obsession or derangement;  3. To go through (an area) in pursuit of prey or quarry.

Hmm, sounds like Ric to me.  Everywhere that Alexis turns Ric follows making comments, taunting, and challenging her.  If Alexis never initiates a conversation or seeks him out, and repeatedly, emphatically tells Ric to leave her alone, I’m thinkin’ that makes her the wronged party.  Instead, Ned accused her of flirting with Ric.  That’s gotta hurt.

If he asks me one more time what I’m wearing under my dress…” 

At Courtney’s fundraiser, Ned accused Alexis of chasing after Ric and enjoying another flirtatious dance with a guy willing to use and abuse her.  “What?” I thought as I watched Ric insert himself into Alexis’ space for the umpteenth time.  Clearly, Ric is aggressively chasing Alexis.  I wondered if Ric were a normal guy, would his behavior be considered stalking.  Alexis hasn’t sounded any alarm bells and a part of her seems to enjoy the verbal sparring and put downs.  She keeps saying no, no, but on the other hand she allowed Ric to talk her into wine, dancing, a drive home from the fundraiser and then a kiss.  All to prove she doesn’t like of him, of course.  Raising the tricky question of when no means no or when no means flirt with me a little more I’m having fun saying no?  It’s very confusing and unAlexis-like.

“She definitely wants me,” Ric assures himself.

“Oh my gosh, he’s hot for me,” Alexis thinks frantically. 

Next, I wondered if Ned was correct in his assumption about the men Alexis is drawn to.  Do Sonny and Ric compare in the bad behavior category?  Nah.  Sonny’s flawed and often wrong in his actions but he has a conscience that bites him in the butt.  Ric, even with his love of Liz, carries an evilness inside that allows him to hurt others without remorse.  Plus, Ric has no code.  Sonny’s code may be ridiculous and impossible for others to live by, but at least he makes boundaries and tries to stay within them.  Let’s consider their outrageous behavior.  Sonny deliberately hurt Alexis when he was in the throes of a one of his breakdowns and she was desperate with fear of losing Kristina.  He’s also threatened her several times.  Alexis measured up in the cruelty department when she attacked Sonny at her sister Kristina’s funeral and on the stand regarding his claustrophobia and breakdowns.  Ric topped them both when he chained Carly in the panic room and plotted to steal her baby.  Wait.  Did I just measure bad behavior with more bad behavior?  Forget that part, bad is bad.  Right?  Maybe not.  OK, they’ve each behaved badly, even reprehensibly at times.  What finally works its way up through the messy flotsam of feelings is love.  Sonny slept with Alexis because he felt something for her and her for him.  They connected, however briefly, on a deeper level that translated into one night of physical passion.  Their bad behavior is judged harshly because it meant breaking trust with each other.  Ric has no feelings for Alexis, no trust level.  He’s working an agenda in which Alexis makes an interesting useful stepping stone on his way to taking down Sonny with no respect for Alexis as a human being.  He is a hunter toying with his prey which makes him something worse than IckRic but I can’t think of words to affectively describe how Icky Ricky is. 

Remember when I had to breathe in a paperbag around you? 

Alexis, supermom, lives several floors up in an apartment building with her toddler daughter and doesn’t lock her windows?  When she threw Ric’s keys out, she pushed the window right open.


Oh, good one Jax.  When you’re clearly in the wrong, deflect the accusation and try to make your accuser feel guilty.  “Why didn’t you give me the benefit of the doubt?” Jax asked Courtney when she busted him for taking credit for Jason’s check.  Huh?  Well, let’s see.  Maybe, Jax, because you lied and haven’t behaved in a trustworthy manner.  Maybe, Jax, because you hate Sonny and Jason and have made it unrepentantly clear that you enjoy sticking it to them.  Maybe, Jax, because, you’ve recently hurt Courtney so you could make Jason look bad.  THAT’s why she didn’t “give you the benefit of the doubt.”

Courtney wonders how such a normal looking man can hold

so much arrogance inside his head. 

Jax proved again this week how mean spirited he can be by showing up at Sam and Jason’s wedding with the sole intent of casting an ugly shadow.

Whoops, Jax has been banished from the Kingdom of Sonny once again. 

Twice, Jason has warned Emily to be careful around Mary and Emily has replied, “I have my own plans for Mary.”  Part of those plans must include cleverly pouring on the guilt, turning the screws as opportunities arise, and rubbing it in that if Nikolas were alive, he’d find his way back to Emily.  Mary deserves every subtle hit, I think, with sympathy lacking.  The kicker will be when Mary throws herself in the river unable to face the revelation of her lies or a life without ConNik; I know my sympathy meter will rise, doggonit!   I have a hard time with people (GH characters included) who skate through life singing a Poor Pitiful Me theme song.  As psycho as Mary’s desperate plan to steal Nikolas and make him into ConNik is (she’s so pitiful I can hear violins playing), I could eventually accept her as a character if she tried to commit suicide, was rescued, dealt with her grief that’s driven her to insanity, and gradually (with regret for her actions) worked her way back onto the canvas.  But that would take time and GH isn’t known for its long term storyline arcs so I’m not holding my breath.


Who’da thought Emily had it in her to weave a web of guilt around Mary

while working her wiles upon ConNik. 

When Mary interrupted ConNik’s hypnosis session I felt his frustration.  If his wife loves him so much, why won’t she support him?  He needs his memories of the past that Mary has vividly described.  Mary deflected her lack of support by playing the martyr exclaiming, “I’m hurt because you feel you can’t trust me.”  Really, Mary?  Why would he not trust you with the knowledge that he wants to remember?  Could it be because you act like his bossy mommy instead of his wife half the time?

Mary tries her own brand of influence.

“You must listen to me and only me, Connor.” 

Obviously, he’s drawn to Emily because she encourages him in his efforts to remember without pressure.  Both women are intently working their own agenda, which works in our favor because it’s allowing the story to play out slowly.  It also helps that ConNik sought medical treatment away from General-Miracle Hospital, or he’d have suffered with amnesia for only a day or two at most.

These two feel comfortable working together.  It shows in their scenes. 

Several outrageous, devious, rude, demon divas grace the GH canvas.  However, Carly rules as top diva (and I don’t mean diva in a nice way).  Not because she’s more awful than anyone else, but because she receives more air time than say Tracey, Faith or Helena.  As top dog in the demon diva category she blithely disrupted Jason’s wedding and justified making decisions for him by stating that she’s his best friend and obligated to save him and she plotted with archenemy Edward to steal Jason’s baby.  But my favorite scene could only be pulled off by Carly.  Sonny accused Carly of driving Sam, an expectant mother, out of her own wedding and then he gave her the ultimate Sonny twitchy evil eye and Carly came right back at him without fear of reprisal, “I did what I had to, to protect my friend and myself.  If you don’t like it, too bad.”  It demonstrated how far Carly has moved from Sonny’s sphere of influence because a couple months ago she would have immediately began stammering and explaining herself, seeking Sonny’s forgiveness and/or approval.  

“Stop shaking your finger at me.”

“No, you stop.”

“You stop first.” 

Sonny gave Carly the all powerful, terror inducing, twitchy evil eye guaranteed to bring

P.C.’ers to their knees begging his forgiveness.

Carly looked at him and said, “Pfft!” 

“Have you ever tried arguing with that woman?” Stan asked Jason.  Poor Stan.  Sonny and Jason should offer their employees Carly protection plans.  Stan was no match for Carly seeking information on Courtney and Jax’s whereabouts.

Stan, unable to withstand a frontal Carly attack,

caved within seconds and gave her the information she’s sought. 

Didn’t you love the consternation on Sonny and Jason’s faces when Sam blurted out, “I do.  I mean not I do, I agree.  Yeah.  A wedding is too important to just get it over with.  If we’re going to get married for this baby I want to do it right.  Look, I want a real wedding.  In a church.”

Jason:  Have you lost your mind?

Sonny:  No, she didn’t just say she wants a wedding in a church!

Sam:  Pony up guys, you want an “I do”, I want to walk down the aisle. 


Seconds later…

Sam:  No way I just demanded a church wedding.

Jason to Sonny:  Has she lost her mind?

Sonny to Sam:  I already ponied up, that’s what got us into this mess. 

How come Carly has Edward’s telephone number memorized?


“Hello, Edward?  Wanna buy a baby?” 

I’ve put off commenting on Sonny’s latest gunshot wound because I don’t know what to say.  “Oh look, Sonny’s been shot again,” seems rather redundant.  It’s not that I don’t care.  I like Sonny no matter how ridiculous his storyline and actions.  He’s flawed but he keeps trying.  Definitely, he takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.  Spoilers say that Nico, the shooter masquerading as Jason Morgan, will trigger a long term storyline involving Sam and secrets from her past which will pull sympathy for her character from the audience.  Sounds like fun to me, but if Nico will be sticking around pretending to be Jason, he needs a leather jacket to pull off the tough guy look although he does fill out the requisite t-shirt nicely.


Hmm, t-shirt, hair, what’s missing from this picture? 

The teen story hasn’t caught me in its grips, but I enjoy Brook Lynn’s voice immensely and hope to hear more.

More, please. 

If I were a spoiler, I’d definitely seek the prestige of landing at GH because there always seem to be a couple worth noting. 

Carly gets into the Convent disguised as a Nun.  (GHFF)

Thunder booms and lightning flashes barely missing Carly as the heavens protest Carly in a nun’s habit. 

After getting a call from Sister Agnes in Texas, where Sonny had gone to look for Sam, Carly rushes to her husband’s side and refuses to let him die.  (GHH2)

What I want to know is how Sister Agnes made it from a convent in South America to a convent in Texas.  Ah, but it’s a soap.  Hopefully, all will be explained in time. 

A couple corrections should be noted.  The memorial for Lila (Anna Lee) has been postponed to a vague time farther down the road.  The vaguer the better, I think, because it allows TPTB and previous GH’ers to arrange schedules so that they can be present at the tribute.  Also,  Sage has reported that Carly will not shoot Nico as previously thought, but instead she will demonstrate that hangin’ with Courtney rubs off as she transforms into Kung Fu Carly. 

Kudos to my net pal, Soapbabie, who knows everything about ABC soaps and what she doesn’t know, she can find out.  Her local ABC station has tapped her knowledge and she is sending them trivia questions which they are using on air.  How cool is that?  You go, girl!  

A couple funny wardrobe malfunction stories hit my in-box and made me laugh.  Since quite a few of them have happened to me, I could relate and I bet lots of you can too.  Perhaps they’ll make you smile, and the next time you look down at church or an interview and realize to your horror that you’re wearing two different shoes or your buttons have come undone exposing way more of you than intended, remember that you are not alone.  There are lots of people who can relate. 

-          I usually will kick off my sandals to drive. It is a habit I have always had. I drove to work one morning and when I got there, I went to slide my sandals on and they weren't there! I didn't just wear the wrong shoes, or ones that didn't match, I completely forgot them! 

-          In your last column, you asked about clothing, etc., mishaps that have happened to people (like Alexis).  I have a small one.  I would say (unfortunately) that I am well endowed.  Kind of like Sam McCall just not so petite and "perky".  Anyhow, I bought a front closure bra one time.  Never again.  Every time I stretched, turned or basically moved, that so-called bra would just pop open!  What do you do when there are people all around?  Cross your arms, try to support Mount Rushmore the best you can, nonchalantly and look for the closest exit.  It wasn't so bad when it was just the female gender around you.  Obviously, they should understand.  But the men?  It was quite unnerving.  You know they're staring!  One minute the twins are up on the tenth floor and the next minute they're falling to the fifth floor!  (I'm 32 so I refuse to go lower than the fifth floor just yet!  LOL) I think I wore that bra for about a week and then tossed it.  I should have burned the darned thing. 

-          One time I ALMOST forgot to put on my bra before work.  As I was standing in the mirror doing the final once over, something just wasn't right.  Adjust a little here, a little there and what is this?  You moron!  You have no bra on!  How I could forget something like that I will never understand.  I never left the house without it so I guess it doesn't count. 

-          I was in the restroom between classes and left with my dress in the back stuffed down my pantyhose. Thank goodness, another teacher saw me and corrected my mistake before my students saw a little more than I wanted them to.  LOL! 

-          I used to have a cat that shed like crazy, so in the mornings when I got dressed for work, I would put on everything but my slacks or skirt until I was ready to go out the door, and actually got to my car one day in my coat and underwear! 

One of my personal most embarrassing moments occurred while I was still in school.  I borrowed a dress from my mom to wear while performing a scene in a play for speech class.  I memorized my lines, put on the dress, and stood on stage facing my fears.  Finishing, I felt massive relief and pride that I’d managed to complete the assignment without faltering – until the end when Ms. Welch (an insensitive, callous, little woman) handed me my grade summary (a B) and mentioned oh so casually, “By the way, we could see right through that dress.”  Of course, the guy for whom I was nursing a crush was sitting in the front row.   

The best part of life’s most embarrassing moments is that we invariably live through them and they become amusing anecdotes for the rest of our walking and talking days.  The stories sent to me this week reminded me that there are no boring people.  Everyone experiences their high points of glory, humiliation, amusement, anger, happiness, and hopefully, contentment.  I wish for some memorable moments in your life.  Thanks for stopping by Eye on Soaps. 


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