Joe's Morturary, you stab'em, we'll slab'em.

Carly?  What?

Aw.  I was just funnin'.  Whassup, Court?

*sniff*  I need to talk to you (boo hoo)
Everything is all wrong.

C'mon, it can't be that bad.  I thought I told
you Elizabeth wasn't after Jason.

It's not her.  Please.  Can you just come?

Pfft.  Alright.  Let me pee and I'll be there.

So I'm looking for Jason and I find him just as
I hear Jason tell Sonny he's going to take out Alcazar.

And I'm all like "WTF?"  You're taking out Alcazar?
We haven't done anything in MONTHS, but you
can sure show Alcazar a good time and he's all
like, "Courtney, go to your room" and he does that
*stare* thing and I'm all like, "Pfft, NO, not until
we settle this." And then Sonny gets a stick up
his ass and he's all like, "COURTney GO to your
room!!" and I'm like, "I SAID NO..."

You can't possibly be this stupid.

So then Jason's all like, "COURTNEY, this doesn't
concern you *stare*" and I'm like "the hell it doesn't!
If you're with ME, you take ME out.
NOT other people, not even other MEN!
I don't PLAY that!  I DON'T share!" and he's all like
*stare* and I said, "Pfft, FINE, take Alcazar out,
buy HIM flowers and candy and here" then I threw
my engagement ring at him "And while you're
taking him out, you can give him THIS too" and I
stormed out.  Oh God, Carly, I can't lose him now!
Not to Alcazar!

I can't do this any more.  You amaze even me.
I'm leaving, don't chase me.

Carly, wait, please.

Damn.   I said don't follow me
Stay.   STAY.

Carly, help me.  I can't let Jason take out Alcazar!
I love him too much to lose him.

I'm going to tell you this once, Courtney.
And I'm going to use small words so you'll understand.
When Jason said he's going to "take out" Alcazar, he
didn't mean to dinner and a movie.  He meant (enunciates and
rolls eyes meaningfully), "Take.  Him.  Out."

I don't... (Carly makes a gun with her finger and
points it at her temple with a little gun sound)

Are you saying he's going to KILL ALCAZAR???

And I'm betting if you tried, you could say that
a little bit louder and get us all arrested.

Amazing.  Why didn't they just tell me that?

Gee, kid, I um, I dunno.

Thank you, Carly.  I'm so relieved that Jason
is just a killer and not a cheater.  I couldn't
bear it otherwise.

Meh.  Whatever.  I gotta jet.

Thank you, God.
I'm so blessed.

So, like, I'm sorry I threw the ring.
Can I have it back? 

You thought I was cheating with Alcazar??

Uh huh.  You SAID you were taking him out.

Are you crazy?  I'd never cheat.

You know I'm Sonny's bitch.

So can I have the ring back?

Hmmm.  Alright, but only if you let me
take you out.  We've got a Journey to finish off.

God, I love you.