One of the fabulous benefits of having this great column here on EOS is that I have started a side job as a prosperous and elite pimp to the stars, both on and off soaps. You just can't cut hair and write about imaginary towns forever, you know. My stable of beautiful Ho's enjoy an exciting life of fun, frolick, handsome clients and tons of money and other bennies. We are an elite force, I must confess, and it's not a life for everyone, which is why my Ho's are so special. Do you think you might have what it takes to be a Ho? Are you confused about what it takes to be a Ho? Let me clear it up for you:
1). You must be willing to enjoy the attentions of a number of men, from soap opera characters to race car drivers. You will be open to choosing your own client base by your preference.
2). You must be willing to live on the sprawling, state-of-the-art, completely opulent Sage Brush Ranch.
3). You must have a sense of humor and NOT be offended by MUCH off color humor and discussion with frequent reference to frolicking lasciviously with handsome clients. If you're a blusher, this ain't the job for you.
4). You must be willing to tolerate all forms of music, including and not limited to classic 70's & 80's fare, which DOES include disco, dammit.
5). You must be willing to get a ton of goofy, fun e-mails from Sage and the Ho's on a near daily basis, which you may have delivered to your inbox or may choose to read in message board format. We even occasionally discuss the soaps. You must NOT, as with all Sage content, be there to be evil, mean and nasty. Curb your attitude if it needs adjusting.
6). This is NOT an equal opportunity job and Sage and the Ho collective reserve the right to refuse employment to anyone that does not support the unwritten mission statement of the Ho's. If you have to ask what the unwritten mission statement of the Ho's is, then this isn't the job for you.
If you want to know more about being a Ho, send Sage your resume at email@example.com. If you want to lurk and just read what we are doing for a while, sign up on the form below:
WARNING: The mailing list that is accessed by the form on the left is very active! Please read the instructions on the group site carefully to set your preferences! Have fun with one another! I will check in on both the message board and the mailing list often to say hi! Loving You!
|NECESSARY LEGAL DISCLAIMER FOR
THE SLOW PEOPLE TO KEEP SAGE OUT OF PRISON:
I am going to assume that you are all intelligent enough to know this is a real mailing group with real fantasies and real fun, but that no actual sexual activity going on (well, except for me and a few of the Ho's with no money passing and by mutual consent and that's not really any of your business anyway) and this is just for fun, but just in case there are some folks out there who are not as fly as the rest of this, let me state for the record that Sage is not a pimp and this is a fantasy world to make our real world a little more fun. Shame on all of you wet towels out there who make a disclaimer like this even necessary. To you, I say, "Pffft."