I decided to keep it simple this year, since I know the other ladies who attended the events will do an amazing job of recapping what happened at each of them.  Here you will find my own opinions and impressions, as well as a few photos.

I don't like to just report, I like to tell a story, so here are a few tidbits from MY GH Fan Club Weekend 2005 experience.

Sarah and Emma Smith, who play Kristina,
arrive for the Goddess Party NLG threw.

Big Daddy John, Nancy Lee Grahn and Constance Towers at NLG's event.

What, you might ask, is so special about this simple resin chair? It lives at the Days Inn on Ventura Blvd in Studio City.  It's rather unassuming.  But it's the "ass" of unASSuming that is particularly interesting.

Let's look more closely?  Anything yet?  Probably not.  Let me tell you a story.  Saturday night, everyone was still pretty high from the main luncheon, which is quite an overwhelming event, even for an old event pro like myself.  Granted, no one had to put a brick on my head to keep me from bouncing up and down, but I felt a few flutters here and there, even though I was in heavy journalist mode.  So here we are, all worked up from the day's events, which had been in full tilt since about 7am and around 9:00pm, we were yucking it up in my hotel room, piled onto the bed, laughing and talking.  We shared stories and insights and plotted our columns together.  Around 9:30pm, the gals dispersed from my room so we could actually get some sleep for the night.  My eagle-eyed reporters said hello to a couple of ladies we know who were sitting by the pool at the above table, with not one of them seeing that STEPHEN NICHOLS (Stefan Cassadine) was sitting there visiting with them.  They said, "Hi" and moved on.  His ass sat on this chair.  A-Lasss.

This is Kathy Hardeman, taking very seriously my smiting of her for not noticing Stephen Frickin Nichols sitting five feet away from her the night before.

At the GH Fan Club Weekend Main Luncheon, a Steve Burton fan stands by her man.

"Was that who I thought it was?"  Nope, Steve.  It wasn't.

Somehow, I got more Steve Burton pictures this year than all the previous years combined.  He's purty.

Send a kid to camp?  Daytime's favorite househusband, Michael Saucedo, also known as Mr Rebecca Herbst.

Ron Hale looked like he'd blow away in a stiff wind, but was friendly and congenial.

A fuzzy photo of Rebecca Herbst.  My new camera was giving me crap and it has already been returned.

Nancy Lee Grahn and more Steve Burton.

...and more NLG.

...and that'd be three.

The top of Ignacio's noggin and Officer Murphy.

Natalia is happy all the time, or at least seems that way. 

Larry Poindexter, aka "Dr Thomas, was quite a hit at the luncheon.  Photos and TV do not do this guy justice (quite the hottie).  One fan in front of me asked him if he'd ever done any other acting (classsssssy!) and he referred her to IMDB.  His entry is here and the answer is yes, he has done a LOT.

My Larry Poindexter story:  I walked up, shook his hand and asked him if I could take his picture.  He said, "Sure," and afterwards, I asked him, "So do you feel totally objectified yet?"  Without batting an eye, he said, "The minute I walked onto the set."  "Pays the bills, though, doesn't it?"  I winked.  "It sure does," he answered.

Kelly Monaco, far from the Diva I'd been warned against, seemed genuinely surprised and pleased that people were interested in her.  She spoke at length about "Dancing With the Stars" and obviously enjoyed it immensely.  She said when we was working on the show, "The Dance Fairies took me over."  She said her favorite scenes to tape are the drunk scenes because she does not drink.  She also mentioned the fight scene between herself and Jennifer Bransford (Carly), saying, "Jenny is a method actor and really got into it.  When we were blocking the scene, she grabbed a pool cue and whacked me in the back of the head and on my ass."  She also said that in one part of the fight, she was pushing Jenny off of her with her foot and the heel of her boot scraped Jenny's belly.  The next day, they were in Kelly's dressing room and Jenny leaned over and made a sound. Kelly asked her what was wrong and Jenny lifted her blouse to show a huge bruise where Kelly's heel had scraped her.  Kelly said she cried about it.  She also warned fans not to buy her "Dancing With the Stars" samba dress on ebay because it was selling for $6000.  "Keep your money!"

Kathy Hardeman, hard at work writing columns in the green room.

Adrianne:  She's a fox.  She's a babe.  She's a RoboBabe.  If she were Latin she'd
be called babia majora. If she were a president she'd be Baberaham Lincoln

The little girl who plays Jodi.

John J York telling me he loves me in sign language...
or flashing me the Motley Crue sign of the Devil.
Not sure which, but I'll choose the previous.

Um, well, sorry, Ms Zeman... Didn't mean to look down your shirt.

Dere is da money, honey.

So many captions, so little time. (But the ol' "super glue in
the lip gloss" joke is winning the race here.)

OK, you talked me into it. My Cynthia Preston story.  I was getting ready to go into the Steve Burton event with my dear friend, Debbie Morris, who sets up the GH Fan Club Weekend.  I hadn't seen Debbie much (she's busy as hell, as you can imagine) and so I was sticking pretty close to her.  She said something about being hungry and I was frickin starving, so I suggested we eat first, then go find Steve Burton.  We sat down at the Patio Cafe to order and pretty soon, two of her entourage showed up. They joined us, then right after that, Debby O'Connor (president of several GH actor fan clubs), her husband and a couple of her entourage joined us, so we pulled tables together.  A few minutes later, she invited Cynthia Preston to join us and she sat beside me through dinner (weee heee!).  As you have likely heard, she's "Cyndi from the block" and is just a ton of fun.  She admired my roast turkey and I offered her a bite, assuring her, "I don' got cooties," but she ordered her own.  Debbie and I left pretty quickly to go check in on Steve, but it was fun to sit around with a star (weee heee!).

Nina from Soaptown USA chats up Constance Towers.

The Corinthos Boys.

Blake Gibbons, flustered that he can't find me in the crowd.  What can I
say?  The guy loves me.  I've GOT to get his phone calls returned!

Poor guy.  About to have a breakdown.  Gotta love him.  (and I do)

Big Daddy John reads his award for "Best Villain" 

Online personality "Soapqueen" gets a Big Daddy cuddle

Now for my Big Daddy John story.  Knowing that I have a white hot burning lust for Corbin Bernsen, my New Best Friend, Kelly B, thought of me when she was escorting the Man himself from his car to the Green Room and quite literally walked him up to me and all put put his hand in mine and pronounced us man and wife.  I loved it.  It was a very sweet gesture.  Sort of like when your favorite cat leaves half the lizard he caught on your doorstep as a gift of luvvvvv.  It was a glorious moment.  The music swelled, the angels sang, our eyes locked and Kathy Hardeman, my old ex-best friend (now) sauntered up and just started talking to him like she was our dance partner or something.  I clicked off my tape recorder and thought about firing her on the spot for such a travesty.  I mean, Carolyn Aspenson was quite a man thief last year, but here's Hardeman just horning in on my special date with Big Daddy John.  Kelly B was already off to get more GH stars from their vehicles, so I couldn't get her to kick Hardeman's ass.  I was flying solo here and honestly, I think Kathy could take me in a fight.   Not wanting to make a scene (and spotting Blake Gibbons arriving across the room), I passed him off to her while she batted beautiful big eyes and apologized to me profusely (I've since forgiven her).  As it turned out, she got a good interview with him and his private phone number.  Grrrr.  All I got was a car air freshener that advertised "Carpool Guy."  >:<

Y'all come back now, y'hear?

Fashion notes and observations: 

Never wear earrings bigger than your head.  It just ought not be. 

For the love of God and mankind, if your hipbones are showing, yank up your skirt.  Hipbones are a private matter. 

If you are wearing an article of clothing with a star's face on it and it's not a T-shirt, you might actually be crazy... we have not decided yet and will get back to you, but I gotta be honest with you, it's not looking good. 

Lime green day-glow must be in.  Who knew? 

If you are standing at attention and your breasts are not, do us all a favor and wear a bra!

(How am I doing, Tina?)