Author’s Note:  I am a stay at home mother who happens to hold a part time job.  That job is bus driving.  I drive an elementary route and a junior high route.  As you can probably imagine, some amazing and funny events have transpired over the last few years one of which I’ve written below.  Names have been changed to protect…well, basically, to protect me and my job.


On Tuesday, I ran in the afternoon.  When I arrived home, I realized that I didn't have time to shower before “General Hospital” so I decided to throw on my bathing suit and lie in the sun for 15 minutes, then watch my show.  It was spring vacation so I had had kids in and out of the house all day.  I deserved a break, needed a break, and I wanted to watch “GH” in peace.  My son, daughter, and various friends were playing on a slippy, slidy water toy in the front yard. 

2:00 P.M. GH starts.  It's a good one.  Knock, knock, knock.  I stay in my chair.  I am not answering the door, not making anybody a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, not passing out glasses of water, dispensing Band-Aids or anything else.  Knock, knock, knock.  No way, I am not getting up.  Ring, ring - the doorbell.  I get up, wrap the blanket around me that I had used while sunbathing and stomp to the door. "What?!!!" 

It should be noted here that my tanning suit is not particularly scant but neither do I parade around in the front yard in it.  There are no straps on the top to make tan lines. 

There, standing before me pure as can be, are three Mormon Missionaries in their pretty white shirts, ties, and slacks.  After a few moments of processing on both sides one of them stammers, "Uh, maybe we can come back another time."  As he says this, I realize that it must look as though I am naked since I had wrapped the blanket around myself sarong style. 

As I am so eloquent in a crisis, especially with three young men who think I am naked standing in front of me, I reacted without thinking.  I said, "Go away!"  And slammed the door in their startled faces. 

After about a minute of embarrassment (well, maybe a couple minutes), I started laughing.  I bet I was the highlight of their day, maybe the highlight of their mission.  How many times do you think naked women answer the door when they are traveling door to door?  So as I am typing my little story, I am imagining three guys sitting around a table laughingly recounting their mission adventures… 

"Remember when that naked woman answered the door?"

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