and his name shall be... Ryan Lavery!

Introducing the guest writers who sing for us "when the Muse strikes"

September 18, 2005
By Emeraldax

It really hit home this week that Greens and Kendall are acting like two kids with stars in their eyes. They are thinking with their hearts, and not their heads.  Sometimes that’s not a bad thing.  They clearly want to bond together in their grief over Ryan’s “death.”  But they aren't thinking things through.  Sometimes warm and fuzzy cannot prevail in a situation.  They met little resistance in their plan from Simone.  But when Zach came in and tried to be the Voice of Reason, they had to do some serious spinning.  In order to justify their actions, they tried to raise their quest to some near-religious level - Kendall saying over and over that she's being selfless, Greenlee saying their motives are good and pure, the two of them praising Ryan all the time, talking about the miracle child who will make everything right in the world.  Even Zach half-joked that they were erecting a shrine to Ryan.  This amount of zealotry has to require some basis.   

Besides the obvious reasons of grief and the desire to have a part of Ryan live on, my guess has to do with guilt over what caused Ryan’s “death” in the first place.  Greens and Kendall and Simone and David went to extraordinary measures to make a baby and it led to Ryan freaking out and driving his motorcycle over a cliff.  During all of Spermgate, Greenlee felt justified that she was doing the right thing, and was positive that it would lead to a reformed and happy Ryan.  The exact opposite happened.  I can’t imagine that Greenlee would want to face how her actions led to those consequences.  She has to believe that her desire to have Ryan’s baby was good and pure, and the only way she can prove she is right is by marching on with that plan.  Greenlee and Kendall have hyped their plan up in their minds as something so beautiful and wonderful, and on the surface it is.  It really is a beautiful idea.  But these are two emotionally damaged women who have made something together before – Fusion.  The company has barely survived constant chaos, but only because it is a pile of bricks and paperwork.  I mean, think about all the strife these two caused each other during their tenure as Fusion execs.  Think about transferring that to a child.  

Ultimately Kendall chose Greenlee because she needs to feel like there is something good in her life, after all the heartache and disappointment she has suffered.  She feels like what she is doing is the right thing, and we all know that Kendall jumps in with both feet, risks be damned.  It took Myrtle smacking Zach upside the head, but he realized that he needed to take his own advice from a few months ago.  He had urged Kendall to stand by Greenlee, even though Greenlee was doing something risky and foolish.  Now Zach has to do the same for Kendall. 

The dynamic between Zach and Kendall has been changing ever since Julia showed up in town, but it reached some intense levels this past week.  During their marriage, they have gone from business partners to friends, all the time keeping each other at arms length.  Now, neither can deny that they have a deeply personal reaction to anything the other does.  On the surface it seems like it is all about their agendas: Kendall loathes Julia and can’t stand the idea that someone who should be on her side is helping Julia against her wishes.  Zach is trying to keep Ryan’s death a secret, and loathes the idea of the two ladies continuing on with a plan that caused the whole mess in the first place.  Obviously it is so much more than that.  Kendall fears for Zach’s life because she cares for him.  Zach does not want Kendall hurt by the Ryan and Greenlee freight train any more than she already has been.   

Because of this underlying emotional response, each scene between the two of them has gotten more and more charged as the weeks go on.  Most of the time they try and play it cool with each other and with others, but the signs are there.  Kendall is a complete ball of nerves around Zach, one minute laying herself open to him, the next minute lashing out.  When Kendall accused Zach of being jealous, she looked positively gleeful.  That’s because after blurting to him that she cares, she needed him to have feelings for her, too.  

Zach, who is usually completely under control, was so upset that he called her a betraying bitch, a reaction that, notably, he did not have when Julia brought in Jimmy and almost got them killed.  When he found out about the surrogate plan, he got more and more vociferous, backing off only when Kendall threatened divorce – a threat that had previously been met with scorn.  He ruminated on his way back to his office (does the guy ever sleep?), about his own words, when he said she would be too physically and emotionally wrapped up in the pregnancy that she would not have room for anything else.  So perhaps it isn’t just about trying to keep Kendall from being hurt.  Perhaps the “anything else” was him.  

The next day he ostensibly goes to stir the pot with Erica, but at the moment of truth, he backs down.  He tries again to reason with Kendall and Greenlee, using every piece of logic he can to convince them to give up having a baby, then switched tactics to convince them to let someone else be the surrogate.  Zach got right to the heart of what a lot of people on the message boards have been thinking about this surrogacy.  He’s our own Greek Chorus.  Zach did make one point that I had not already thought of.  The part about how giving up Ryan's baby will be just one more thing that Greenlee takes away from Kendall.  None of his arguments worked.  When Kendall walked out on him, he was clearly at the end of his rope.  Zach, who usually has it all figured out, sought Myrtle’s advice on what to do.   

The scenes between Zach and Kendall on Friday were even more emotionally charged, considering that they weren’t at odds this time.  They continued to try and play it cool with each other, but in the end they opened up to each other a lot more than either of these two dark horses are used to.  Their conversation was melancholy, bittersweet.  How confusing must it be to be forced into a position of supporting someone when you think they are crazy, and at the same time wondering why you are crazy enough to care. 

On a lighter note, I thought I was going to pass out laughing when Kendall said that when Zach twitches, weird stuff happens.  The mental imagery there really got me going.  Also, Kendall didn’t look too pleased when Greenlee suggested that Zach might be occupied with twitching in Julia’s direction.  Speaking of mental imagery, I also liked Kendall’s line about Zach having some mighty big brass (not that she would know).  I thought about including a picture of a trombone in this column, but I figured I’ve done enough phallic imagery for one month.  But the best deadpan delivery has to go to Erica for her dig at Zach.  “It’s a wonderful idea, it’s inspired.  I wouldn’t give Zach credit.”  

Greenlee’s desire to talk to her mom really hit me on a personal note. I'm very independent, and even though I love my mother, I've always kept her at arms length.  Then when I had my little girl, a switch went off in my brain. I found myself yearning for my mom more and relating to her so much more. I finally started thinking about some of the crap she faced when she was younger, and asked her some questions about herself that it never occurred to me to ask before, because she was just mom.  Greenlee's revelation was premature because she hasn't even had the tot yet, but it was spot on.  Another thing that spoke to me was Kendall’s reaction to reading about epesiotomies in the birthing book.  I was horrified when I read about that, and literally agonized for weeks about it.  I would shakily ask my doctor questions about it.  I was a mess.  I ended up having a c-section, so it just goes to show you how much worrying accomplishes. 

In the recent scenes between Babe and JR, one thing has impressed me.  They do not pussyfoot around their toxic past.  Both of them bring up nasty stuff that the other has done, and they are forced to acknowledge it.  It may not seem like that big a deal, but think of all the couples in the past who have gotten back together, and the writers just glossed over their previous issues.  These two are still very raw from what they’ve done to each other, and it is important to see that.  Their last scenes of the week were very good.  I loved how JR shouted “You don’t have to touch me!”  Hee!  When Jamie was snarking at Babe with a fierce expression, I had this sudden vision of a typical session at a Pine Valley anger management class - most of the attendees would be people that were burned by Babe.  She certainly has a way of making people crazy with hate for her. 

The tumor revelation scene was appropriately dramatic, but I couldn’t help but giggle a little.  I could almost hear the old time soap organ music playing in the background.  The way Ryan was squeezing Jonathan’s head, I thought maybe he was trying to pop the tumor like a zit. Ryan’s newest thing is to rub his fuzzy head.  I can’t really blame him, I love rubbing buzz-cutted fuzzy heads.  Ryan actually mentioned Gillian!  And he didn’t use the word “love” when referring to Kendall.  He couldn’t at least have told Erin that he loved her but [insert Julia’s blah blah speech about love going sour]?  Well, I don't care because it is just more fuel for my hope that Rendall will not happen again. 

I loved loved loved all the Kane-Montgomery moments.  Warm fuzzies all around.  And it is fun to see Erica in her ball of energy mode. I was surprised that the New Beginnings guest list was so impressive.  I tolerated the flash and dash because Erica is our resident diva, and we have to indulge her once in a while.

Lily always manages to look like daisies and sunshine – a refreshing breeze when she walks in the room.  I was so happy for a Reggie sighting!  We got to see him doing the sibling thing with Lily – they are so cute together.  I was actually surprised when he went to see Dani to find out if she was really okay.  He showed more maturity in that moment than many of the guys on the show.  Too bad it lasted just a moment. 

Josh made a very good point about the idea of Dani being a challenge.  I just thought Garrett was a perv, but it adds a whole new level of twisted to think that he is also doing this as some sort of personal game.  Of course, even now we still don’t have proof positive about Garrett’s skeeviness.  The pic of Dani on the camera phone could just be a sentimental thing.   

I’m suddenly intrigued by Di again.  Who was this man that she met when she got off the bus from Hicktown?  Was it the Dragon?  Did he pass her off to Kevin when he was through with her?  I’m all excited about a new twist, now.  Its strange, but I tend to have more sympathy for Di when she is pining over the possibility of losing JR and Little A than I am about her pining over Tad.  I guess because I don’t really see the chemistry with her and Tad, and her lurve for him seems to have come out of nowhere.  At least with JR and Little A, she spent heaps of time with them when she was playing nanny.  Also, I think I might like Tad and Di better when the truth has come out and they are past that.  It just seems too skeevy right now.  He is not really in love with Di.  He’s in love with Dixie.  So all the shmoopy moments might as well be happening between Tad and an inflatable Dixie doll. 

I was surprised that Amanda was so ready to share her scheming with Aidan.  I guess she gave up on pretending to be nice and sweet, and decided to be herself.  I certainly like Amanda squaring off with Aidan more than her and Jamie.  When Anita comes back, if they decided to do a triangle, we could call it Triple A.  Or not. 

I really like the Tad and Aidan dynamic.  They make a dynamic duo. 

Mostly off topic:  Eva La Rue will have a role in the upcoming season of CSI:Miami.  She’ll play a character named Natalia Boa Vista, who clashes with folks at the crime lab.  I’ve been a big CSI fan from the beginning.  Eleven years ago I read my first Patricia Cornwell book, and I have been hooked on forensics ever since.  Currently I’m reading the latest Kathy Reichs.  CSI: Miami is my favorite CSI show. I’m excited about ELR, because when she returned to AMC, I just could not get into Maria.  She was beautiful.  She was talented.  I wanted so much to like Maria, but I couldn’t.  So I am very glad for the opportunity to see ELR shine on one of my other favorite shows.  I’ll let you in on a secret.  I am in love with Horatio Cane.  I want to have his leprechaun babies.  So let me say right here and now that once they are done clashing, I hope Horatio will be putting his boa into her vista. 

Thanks for reading!

Email Emeraldax

09/10/05 column from Emeraldax

09/06/05 column from Emeraldax

08/27/05 column from Emeraldax

08/20/25 column from Emeraldax