Mom's Dictionary

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor
 to make love again.

 DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

 FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance
 apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster

 FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the
 strained carrots.

 FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

 GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even
 though they're sure you're not raising them right.

 HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

 IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

 INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do
 everything we say.

 OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
 PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry
 shoes into it.

 SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.

 STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and
 to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

 TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

 TWO MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to
 make those familiar grunting noises.

 VERBAL: able to whine in words

 WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...

 WEEKEND: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry,
 cleans the house, runs errands, etc.