I really tried.  I was leaving.  My mental briefcase was packed and I was done.  I was leaving my old lover, he who had disappointed me so many times in so many ways.  He who could not be consistent or stay true to our history.  My first mistake was I didn’t delete him.  You see, when I moved on, I still held on at the same time.  Instead of erasing 3-4 PM on my VCR, I just changed it to record from 2-4 PM.  I started out meaning to just watch a little.  Instead I learned a lesson.

General Hospital is my passion.  When I hate it, I hate it passionately, and when I love it I love it zealously.  I am invested in these characters no matter what choices they make or where their lives take them.  I may not always like the places the writers take them, but they are mine.  I was here first.  Before The Guza’s and the Pratt’s, before Reese and Courtney and long before Diego or Georgie, Port Charles was my place to go.  I will be damned if anyone gets to drive me away.

Then there are the actors, that no matter what they are forced to do for the story, I know their souls.  Yes that is an exaggeration, I have not suddenly lost it, with a plan to go stalker right before the GH Fan club Luncheon, but it stems from truth.  I know what makes Sonny tick, I know what motivates him and what destroys him, I know how entirely that man can love and how fully he can hate.  I know when Sonny is being written in a corner and I know that Maurice Bernard can always somehow bring Sonny back to me with one look, one gesture, and one word. 

The ridiculousness is still there, glaringly apparent on my TV screen, but they there are always those little sparks of hope.  The unexpected scenes between Emily and Sonny and the building friendship between Michael and Emily have been refreshing.  Seeing Monica and Tony and Bobby come together to remember BJ has been heartbreaking.  The positively comical scenes of Tracy and Luke and Skye and Coleman leave me laughing (in a good way).   

There are still the things I don’t get.  For example, Carly gave a long speech to Bobbie about how she felt that “sister” connection to BJ that only “real” sisters can feel.  Correct me if I am mistaken, but Carly and BJ share no blood.  Bj was Tony’s child with Tanya who died and then he married Bobby. 

Why Reese thinks Carly “stole” her life is beyond me, because Carly always spoke of Caroline with love and fondness.  I don’t even ever before remember the name Charlotte coming into the mix.  Seems to me perhaps that Reese is not working a la Hannah and Angel and GH is looking for an “out.”  That is how GH gets characters gone, they go insane.  It is a shame too, because had they left well enough alone perhaps Reese could have worked out, especially once it comes out she slept with Ric.   

I cannot even begin to grasp who Alexis is as she asks her husband to sleep with someone else so that they can get divorced.  Granted the conversation was flat out comical, but so far removed from character that it made me shudder.  We knew from jump that eventually Ric and Sonny would have to somehow and someway connect.  I even enjoyed when the usually hypocritical Sonny pointed out to Jason that he (Sonny) and Ric actually had appeared to inherit the same tendencies for depression and acts of desperation.  Sonny actually made excuses for why Ric had kidnapped Carly and even though I still don’t get it (nor does Jason), Sonny apparently does.  Even with this tentative new relationship forming between Ric and Sonny it does not at all have to spell the end for Alexis and Ric.  Alexis is smarter than this and more mature than this, but anyone who has not known her before now would never guess it. 

Over in Llanview Asa and Carlo are absolutely delicious.  I may not be able to fathom why Asa would think for even one second that Carlo would not double cross him but I don’t really care as long as they are on my screen.   

Walk through this one with me.  Blair is leaving Todd a message on her cell phone when she opens the door to her house.  She hangs up and puts the phone back in her purse.  She notices the alarm is not armed.  She calls out to Todd and gets no answer.  Then she ventures further into the house and picks up the house phone only to find it disconnected.  What is wrong with this picture?   

I actually am enjoying Jessica’s DID storyline.  I think the actress is acting it out very well.  I can understand Jessica’s motivations and why she would not want to tell anyone what she is going through.  We, the viewers know how tough Vicki is, but if I were her daughter and my alter just put her in a hospital bed and I knew how many different times and different ways Vicki has almost died I would not be so quick to lay my problems at her feet either.  As for confiding in Antonio, he is so damn wrapped up in getting back his daughter (in the worst ways possible) that I can’t imagine what sort of support system he could provide. 

I don’t really understand why Nora hates Bo so much.  What did he do that was so horrible?  The fact is, if her husband wasn’t a liar and a murderer Bo would not have had to arrest him to begin with.  Then Nora goes and spills the beans about Paige and Spencer and although Bo is a bit hesitant to believe he doesn’t dismiss Nora outright, nor is he even a little nasty.   

I leave you with a quote from Sartre, heard on CSI by Gil Grissom.

“Hell is other people” 

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