CAUTION:  My girl, Carol, speaks her mind in a strong, brassy and vibrant fashion.  If you are offended by straight talking, adult oriented language (sometimes, there's a "very" in there), please be aware that you may well find it here.  Carol shoots from the hip and tells it like it is, pulling no punches and taking no prisoners.  That's why I love her & why I hired her.  If it's not your bag, let's part still friends and salute our differences in tastes (I'm sort of a strong strawberry flavor...)  ~*~Katrina~*~


STAY! GET OUT! 

What’s a veteran soap fan to do nowadays? Seems everybody’s leaving the show, to retire, for a shot at primetime, because of a new head writer, there’s not enough money for one legend’s salary and vacation perks, and on and on. 

Every time a beloved character/actor heads off, I swear I’m joining him. I did when GH’s Luke and Laura made their final, separate departures. I missed the entire Blackie/Asian Quarter/Felicia & Frisco years, maybe I was too busy finding myself in college. 

I’m also too preoccupied with my family to remember why I came and left in the first place. In fact, somewhere amongst this thread, I’d meant to mention something important, something possibly never before mentioned before, having something to do with extraneous cast members, cost-cutting maneuvers and why Emily should never have happened. 

Sorry. Forgot. 

The closest remains of a reminder surrounds the ominous rumor of Tony Geary (Luke) once again taking off for a vacation but never returning. It’s been rumored for ages, ever since Laura gave Stefan a second glance and the writers rewrote history (allegedly on Genie Francis’ behest, for a chance to perform with a new partner, in a refreshingly new story). It’s probably come close to truth on more than one occasion. 

But something always lures Geary back. Probably the unheard-of-in-daytime perk of him being able to take off for lengthy, MULTIPLE vacations while still steadily employed, steadily used and amply rewarded in the bank account. I’d hazard to guess that his is the biggest bank account in the hood. 

If any of his veteran co-stars and colleagues (any of us fans, for sure) were given the same ample opportunity, we’d stick around, too, even if we had to sleepwalk through some of the lines, or – in Geary’s case – go extremely inventive in the ad libbing to pull off the impressive time and again. 

A perk that lucrative never lasts long (even “Friends” had to end) in this world. Sure enough, daytime has had to tighten its financial belt in the face of ever-decreasing ratings revenue. TPTB have had to trim sets, characters, focus exclusively on surefire money-makers with huge fan bases, seek out any quick fix to capitalize on maximum capital for minimum effort. 

We’ve reaped and suffered the benefits from AMC’s cross-promotional marketing with Wal Mart to sell Enchantment perfume, to GH’s reinvention as the Sonny Corinthos Hour, to hopping on the reality-TV bandwagon, “Sexiest Man,” “I Wanna Be A Soap Star.” 

As the soaps narrow their focus, so too do the fans. Instead of sharing personal perspectives inspired from character-driven storylines, there’s the harping on every microscopic lead in the next batch of spoilers from now until eternity and the backstage soaps within soaps of fan-based wars. 

Fans are no longer content to sit back and lose themselves in a good piece of daily fiction, identify themselves with well-thought-out, well-performed characters and gab amongst themselves about the highlights, lowlights and spotlights of that day’s issues. Now, fans band together, organized into professional institutions for the sole purpose of perpetuating the glorification of their favorite characters and actors. 

They’ve gone so far as to collectively purchase big-ticket items for their stars; Rebecca Herbst (Elizabeth, GH) recently thanked her LiRic, Liason, Pearl fans for chipping in and surprising her with a strand of pearls (commemorating Elizabeth’s birthday) from Tiffany’s, which she wore at NEm’s wedding a few weeks ago. They’ve raised funds for their stars’ charities, and basically cultivated another world outside TPTB’s radar, where the celeb worship surpasses any activity generated by the daytime networks. 

Tony Geary (Luke, GH) – if you believe the rumors going strong – is about to realize the end of his fans’ dream, forged since the early ‘80s. The actor who once found soaps beneath him and craved the footlights of the Shakespearean stage will retire – storyline-dictated. In reality, it’ll most likely be because he has become too expensive, too taxing and too unpredictable for the industry that relies on cheap, commonplace and routine. 

(Maybe the unorganized scattering of millions of his fans can chip in for a gift certificate to McDonald’s. He!) 

I left GH for over a decade when Genie Francis (ex-Laura) did in the late ‘80s/early ‘90s. I could do it again when and if Geary follows suit. If, Francis briefly returns to help Geary escape the asylum, so to speak... probably by February Sweeps... I’ll be in the front row with my popcorn and box of Kleenex, and then I, too, may be gone. 

In this day and age, I see no reason to stay. Soaps ceased being about familiar characters in familiar situations encouraging fans to be familiar with each other. Because of the lapsed ratings, the shift to cable and recorded TV systems, stay-at-home to working, soaps have had to constantly change with the times, imitate, copy, leech off whatever’s working in mainstream entertainment – which, btw, hasn’t got a clue either. 

During this struggle to find level footing to climb to the top, soaps inevitably forgot their history and the reason they became popular in the first place. 

We’re never going to find another mainstay like Luke and Laura ever again. Actors will come and go, in a flash, in their clichéd fairy tales of breaking into show business, learning the ropes on a soap, testing their wings during pilot season, indies, movies, primetime series – all in an effort to better themselves, as if better meant using soaps as a stepping stone, not as the final destination. 

Some of ‘em will come back, proclaiming daytime to be a great, steady job for a growing family, the same old ending. There’ll be more new faces to contend with, another breakdown of financial consideration as seniority means a pink slip. 

Sometimes I stare at OLTL and GH especially, wondering who all these new faces are and why TPTB can’t bother with the familiar ones that have kept me tuning in for over two decades. 

I’m sure Mr. Geary’s thought that too. 

Nah. He’s probably just thinking about his last day. 

 

AND NOW, A WORD FROM ... THE STUPID NEWS 

It’s Monday, December 13, 2004, approximately 1:46 p.m. I am staring at a gray, non-descript building, which must be the courtroom, no press allowed. A man’s voice narrates the obvious, “You’re looking at the courtroom from the outside, because the press is not allowed— ” More gibberish, staring at the building until the narrative takes on an excited tone about the jurors’ verdict of guilty, sentence of death, the judge to later determine the acceptability of such a fatal indictment. 

Four minutes later, and I’m hitting the record button on my replay for SOAPNET, to kick in five hours later. 

I missed the part on OLTL where Margaret turns to grab a knife (I think), after having kidnapped and shot Todd. She turns and— ABC news interrupts with the verdict and sentencing of Scott Peterson in the deaths of his wife and unborn son. 

As usual, I’m thinking, “They could’ve waited until the news aired at 5 p.m. for this.” 

I don’t care about the Scott Peterson case. I never did. I couldn’t understand what was so special about it to warrant interrupting any regularly scheduled programming (and over here in Seattle, the local news has like about five or six separate programs interspersed throughout the afternoon to evening with which to “interrupt”). 

Lots of husbands out there are accused of murdering their wives and children, born and unborn. Lots of husbands have been accused of much worse. Whenever the subject would come up in the past, and it came up frequently on talk shows, I’d change the channel. I’d rather have watched CNN dissect the Middle East crisis than listen to another middle-aged soccer mom type bemoan the state of society and rev up the battle cry to fry the sucker. 

Diversity-minded critics have suggested that most of America loves this kind of news because it involves typical, average, middle-class white people, because in their typical, average, middle-class white people’s minds, things like this don’t happen in their neighborhood, it’s usually the domain of those foreigners, immigrants, minorities down there in their ghettos with their flea-infested crackhouses... therefore akin to WWIII. 

Probably some truth to it. 


Could you imagine the furor if
ABC News interrupted the slap
heard around the world?


Truth is, Susan Lucci (Erica)
slapped Bobbie Eakes (Krystal),
pictured here, so hard, for
real, that she stopped tape
to make sure her co-star didn’t
need the ER unit.
 

The news media places way too much importance on these – compared to truly newsworthy, news-breaking stories like the 9/11 attacks, or, say, an imminent bombing of Pearl Harbor – lightweights that serve nothing and nobody but to satisfy most of the viewers’ subconsciously perverted interests in the latest car accident off to the side of the freeway. 

It doesn’t concern us. It’s not a threat to the US. It’s obviously not covered as fairly as other more “tragic” news stories that just so happen to be about non-whites (therefore, non-important). 

Let’s face it. The news media is happiest when it’s at the the epi-center of every minute possible negative anyway, blown out of proportion, designed merely to panic, not inform. Take the annual flu “pandemic” scare. I’ve channel-surfed past the SMILING FACES of the newscasters, mostly women, bleating on about the possible devastating effects of the current flu bug infesting every corner of our universe. The undercurrent of their message always being: THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, BUT KEEP WATCHING US AS WE PICK OUT ONLY THE LEADS WITHOUT THE FOLLOW-THROUGH IN OUR RELENTLESS EFFORT TO BE THE NEWS INSTEAD OF REPORT IT. 

Right about now, the same news media people are picking their noses and scratching their butt cheeks in perplexity at why the mass consumers aren’t running for the nearest clinics to get their flu shots, available in a surplus, after practically promoting a flu shot shortage weeks earlier (prompting a run on the stuff in Vancouver and more than one fraudulent doctor to concoct fake vaccines). 

Maybe we’re sick and tired of being manipulated by the negative-only news, changed the channel and realized there is no flu pandemic, only a media-driven media event, designed solely – surprise, surprise – to drive ratings. 

I only wish the majority of us got sick and tired of the Scott Peterson cases that take up way too much airtime when only newshounds, families and friends directly involved in such cases, and Middle America types who find this sort of news story pandemic enough ... deserve to care. 

It’s not pandemic enough to interrupt OLTL in the middle of the beginnings of a Todd kidnapping story—perhaps the best hope Todd and Blair have of a truly glorious love story to showcase their growth, maturity and hard-earned belief in each other. 

Not even for four minutes, to stare at a building and listen to the predictable verdict. 

 

AMC

“SOME SICK PERSON WE CAN TAKE CARE OF, BUT CRAZY? THAT’S FOREVER.” –GREENLEE 


Please God, no. There’s nothing else
on TV right now!
 

This week, I could easily have harped on the agony that was last week (and two more weeks to come, if spoilers are correct): the worship of Saint Bianca by the entire town of Pine Valley. Agony, because, while 99.9 percent of the soap-viewing population believes Bianca is deserving of such a worship clearly biased in her favor (despite her history of being a self-righteous, pompous, demanding former firebug), I. AM. NOT. 

I can’t stand her on a normal, waking state.

But lying there looking beatific like she can compare to the Virgin Mary, after she did nothing but stand and berate Babe like a common bully zeroing in for the kill (instead of, y’know, paying attention to the baby she thought she lost to death), almost gleefully at that (but not as gleefully as the ever-hypocritical Erica)... I’d rather go worship a piece of codfish. 

[Don’t worry, Binks fans. I WILL touch on this subject in a future column, tentatively titled, “Bad Girls,” about the misconception of goody-two-shoes as good.] 

When the subject and sight of RYLEE come up, however, I just might be tempted to head back in that hospital room with Bianca after all. 

A regular reader e-mailed me a timely reminder of the atrocious mis-pairing of the pompous Ryan with the obnoxious Greenlee: 

Hi Carol,

Just wanted to drop you a note and say how much I enjoy your column...and thank you for all of your great insights...

A few comments... I just want to say that I am totally sick of all of the Rylee crap going on on AMC. W.T.F. is wrong with MMT and her band of scribes? Don't they realize that this couple has failed miserably with all of the fans? Even with MMT changing the history of the show and changing both characters, we are not buying it. How much more of this forced pairing must we long-time viewers endure? The drugging garbage is just that, a pity ploy to get fans to feel sorry for Rylee...and now I read that Kendall is going to be thrown at them once again and rebuild her friendship with Greenrunt. Why would Kendall ever want to be friends with the woman who destroyed her happiness and stole the love of her life? TPTB continue to pimp Kendall to keep Rylee interesting. Have these writers no sense?! Rylee is a miserable failure...

Who really cares about who shot Ryan anymore? In their attempts to give Greenrunt a frontburner storyline, they have sucked the life out of Ryan to the point where nobody really gives a rat’s ass about him. Those scenes in the hospital with both of them babbling on like incoherent fools were sickening and hurl-worthy. The acting was horrible and almost laughable. IMO they should just backburner the Greenrunt character, divorce her from Ryan because it’s obvious that no matter how many men they throw at her she just does not have any chemistry with anyone except for that stupid tin box that she found while she was stuck in that wabbit hole.

The real magic is in Ryan and Kendall. MMT needs to focus on rebuilding that relationship and give the fans what they want. At least it was based on reality and the actors both shined. It might even give Cameron Mathison his acting legs back and regain a lot of his fans that were so dreadfully lost with this Rylee pairing.

Is there any hope for a quick demise of Rylee? 

Diana
 

Well, Diana, there is always hope in soaps. Alicia Minshew (Kendall) herself might’ve said something about not counting Kendall and Ryan out in the future, and this was at the height of Rylee. Head writer Megan McTavish might even be brazen enough to try again, after having realized that she acted hastily in rushing a re-pairing (that never worked to begin with) just to give Greenlee a surefire love interest (the former co-star you know is better than...). 

Many other fans have noticed a connection between Greenlee and Bobby (as played by Christian Campbell), but since TPTB failed to utilize Campbell’s understated abilities, there goes that hope. 

I’m afraid Greenlee’s here to stay. I’m also equally afraid that, without a successful love interest, and if you’re not a beloved, asexual icon like Bianca, you can’t stay frontburner on a soap for long. So unless they find another existing male character to preoccupy Greenlee with, she’s stuck with Ryan and vice versa. 

Diana summarized the basics of why I and countless other long-time fans immediately reaching for the remote control (the mute or the FF) despise Rylee so much. 


As much as I dread the Bianca worship
to come, it’s nice to see Erica in her
mommy element, here with Miranda.
 

Their reunion was the definition of contrived, an excuse to cut the palpable tie between Ryan and Kendall – a tie the actors worked hard to forge from the get-go, before Cameron Mathison left for primetime/movies – using Kendall’s insecurity and inexplicable hatred for Greenlee. 

To prove to us cynics that Rylee were meant to be, McTavish and her wacky writing team had Greenlee fall into a hole in the ground – right after Greenlee committed the ultimate act of a betrayal of friendship, ripping Kendall’s clothes off in open court, proving Kendall faked her pregnancy and risking a death sentence on her best friend, just for what? to find out what was going on when everybody else already knew? 

In order to balance the perennial self-centered pettiness that is intrinsic to Greenlee – and a big part of why I never liked her to begin with – McTavish HAD to make Greenlee suffer, go introspective and evolve into a chastised, better person. That McTavish chose to do this virtually overnight, in a corny insult to New Age-ism, with Greenlee confronting her demons and her nice side (she has a nice side?) and Ryan sensing Greenlee’s plight psychically to save her, the whole tin box of hope, the fashion mini-diva wise-cracking, pun-ning, clever-quipping her way out of her own prison and into Ryan’s arms... just struck me as stupid, phony, atrocious storytelling and soap acting. 

Last week, Ryan made mushy with Greenlee after he resuscitated her from an over-medicated bout with insanity. They sat on the hospital bed talking about an injured squirrel, the victim of a hit and run, “fast motorcycle?” “slow squirrel,” Dynamite Kiddo, and assorted other cloying nonsense designed to show off how in tune with each other they were. I just saw them as showing off at how they felt they were so superior to every other couple. 

The whole, LOOK AT HOW IMPOSSIBLY BEAUTIFUL WE LOOK TOGETHER, NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD MATTERS BUT US, is a turn-off. I don’t like it on GH with Nikolas and Emily, I didn’t like it with (the first) Lucky and Elizabeth, and it’s why I cringe whenever OLTL’s Todd or Blair bring up their membership to the Wild Lonely Hearts Club. 

The very nature of such cloistered cliques negates the very nature of an all-inclusive ensemble of soap characters as a community of inter-connected human beings, no one better than the other, just different. 

True couples to root for never exclude. They don’t need a secret clubhouse handshake or special language, or other PROPS to love each other. 

They just do. 

Individually, they can stand on their own, and have. Their solo stories are equally, if not more interesting than their duets. Take a look at OLTL’s David and Dorian. I love them together or apart. Together, they enhance their individuality and create a perfect, magic combination. 

Couples like Ryan and Greenlee, though, just seem forced. Take two popular kids in school, make ‘em king and queen of the prom, watch ‘em lord over the chess club. But for God’s sakes, give ‘em a script to recite, ‘cause they’ve got nothing else to go on. 

Watch me retch. 

 

OLTL

“DON’T WORRY DARLING, THIS WON’T HURT A BIT.” –MARGARET 

   
Yeah, she’s crazy... like a fox.
 

I had every intention of hating the insertion of Crazy Margaret into the Todd and Blair story. I questioned the sanity of new head writer Dena Higley in over-using yet another clichéd plot device (that failed with me the first time under head writer Michael Malone), as opposed to further developing the two main, complex characters – who, let’s face it, haven’t clicked in ages. 

But then I did what many online soap fans don’t. I shut up about the spoilers for five minutes to WATCH THE SHOW. 

Consider me sufficiently humbled. 

Higley’s writing style instantly made itself known last week. The dialogue was crisp, realistic, adult. The argument brewing between Bo and Nora felt uncomfortably too close to home, and a long time in coming, for example (an argument that should’ve happened three years ago). 

At first, I didn’t know what to make of this “Misery” loves company. Is Margaret a villainess? Was I supposed to laugh when Todd tried to keep his voice calm amidst his rising hysteria when Margaret took a sharp blade and cleaned it with a flame from her lighter, before removing the bullets from his legs? Can I feel sick to my stomach with anticipation at the reversal of roles (of sorts) when Margaret crept up on top of Todd, arm bloody from pummeling one of his gunshot-ridden legs (to subdue him), about to make love? 


This is the part where I laughed,
but not in a ha-ha, this is
funny, I should share the joke
with my buddies way, but a ha-ha,
this is twisted and Todd’s screwed.
 

I could’ve sworn Trevor St. John (as the recast Todd) grew two more feet in anticipation. The studied actor has made no bones about requiring challenge to his art. Playing around with Asa this past summer was definitely not St. John’s idea of acting. The boredom leaked out in his physical, often background antics, exaggerating facial expressions, amping out, doing anything outside the script to break up the monotony. 

Last week, as Tari Signor’s Margaret took over the Todd and Blair nuptials with something a little more menacing than insanity in her kidnapping plans (dare I say it, a manic vulnerability?), I knew I’d hit on paydirt. 

Signor, St. John and Kassie DePaiva (Blair) all turned in extremely poignant, painfully realistic performances. Signor’s and DePaiva’s extremes of suffering were nicely balanced with St. John’s uncharacteristically but still unorthodox calm. For the first time since the Spokane, WA native took on the recast role last year, it looks to me like he’s taking it seriously, economically, not having to over-use props to make his point, because the material itself, as well as the combustibly unpredictable dynamic Signor brings as the bad girl, is enough. 

Blair is finally in her element, revealing a mix of child-like disappointment, totally lost at sea, right after reading Todd’s good-bye note, hopeful later at the chance that the note had been forged, crushed but calm enough to send her loved ones safely out of the penthouse, the emotional rampage she inflicted on Todd, in the things he left behind, the things that remind her of him... and a day or so later, on another kind of rampage typical of an intimidating, scary, seductive Blair, who uses her body for the men and her verbal fists for the women (one filled with scotch for Evangeline) – in reaction to deeply-felt romantic disappointment. 


Um, were you around when I last
played Cristian? Oh well, I can
always rely on “storyline-dictated.”
 

Love her or hate her, it’s hard not to force yourself to watch as she wrecks havoc on everybody around her, none more brutal than upon herself. 

Last time I saw Blair go on a rampage, she’d reacted badly to Walker’s reveal as Todd, tramping around with Kevin as payback, then crying rape against Todd himself. Not the best of times by any means, and not what actress DePaiva would count as necessarily true to character. The actress recently admitted to fans during a SOAPTOWN USA “Fan Fifteen” Q&A that she was lucky to survive it, job intact. “...I didn’t like the rape story and I didn’t like Blair’s stance before and after, and I’m glad a year later, and I’m still on the show and Blair survived.” 

Thanks to a promise already fulfilled by new head writer Dena Higley, Blair will more than survive this new year. She’ll soon learn to trust her instincts and turn her intimidating, scary, seductive flaws into strengths, in order to defeat the naysayers and Crazy Margaret, to get to Todd. 

When the story fits the characters, the result is undeniable realism from start to finish. After all is said and done, that’s all most of the OLTL actors ask for. 

Somewhere in New York right now, I’m sure Trevor St. John (Todd) and Kassie DePaiva (Blair) are smiling. 

 

GH

“Btw... I’m not wearing pants.” –Kari Wuhrer 


Here is the goddess, herself, and
Sonny’s new mistress.

PHOTO CREDIT:  MAXIM MAGAZINE PHOTO 

It didn’t take long. 

The minute news spread online of Kari Wuhrer cast as the recurring Reece, a federal agent who may turn Sonny’s head early on in February, quite possibly on a long-term, contract basis, the superficial snipes followed suit. 

Just as it had for Lisa Vultaggio (ex-Hannah), Angel Boris (ex-Angel) and Kelly Monaco (Sam), the criticisms centered around looks over substance – a laughable argument, considering the nature of soap operas themselves, a veritable pornucopia of half-naked, nubile, hour-glass figures, real or imagined (with a lot of help from boob-squeezing contraptions). 

Why, just the other day, in a December 14th episode, the much-beloved and massively-accepted Courtney was dancing around with Jax in a strapless, low-cut gown revealing two-thirds of her considerable creamy hooters. Not a coincidence. 

If they’re not pimped out by costumes, the writers will surely figure out some way to accentuate these prime female characters’ very best physical features. Oh darn. It’s raining. She’s drenched. Must get out of her clothes and into a nice, warm towel. Oops! Just met him yesterday? No matter. Let’s burn a thousand red candles and do it on the rose-petal-draped king-sized bed! 

Brittney Powell’s Summer was a brick house. Did TPTB make her an accountant? Of course not. She was revealed soon enough as a con artist and prostitute, anything to show her T&A. 


After day in and day out of this,
I’m ready for a cheerleading team of
Playmates.
 

And, heaven forbid the casting department hire actresses with brain matter, yet endowed only on a more earthly plane, maybe a minority or two in her middle age. The hypocrisy would come out to play, as female fans ridiculed every “fugly” aspect of what they earlier referred to as shallow when the new actress hire just happens to be prettier and sexier than them, centerfold-worthy. 

I am a 40-year-old, heterosexual female viewer who feels no such compulsion, no jealousy, no threat. While most of my gender railed against yet another bubbly, jiggling bimbo type joining an already-over-crowded cast, with much of its vets neglected, I stood cheering amongst my straight male compatriots. 

Appreciation for the female form aside – and Ms. Wuhrer certainly applies – this is the best move GH could make. The current cast has become stale, over-used. It needs fresh blood. 

It certainly breathes different life to Maurice Benard’s (Sonny) descriptive preview of his next love interest as someone completely unlike Brenda or Carly, someone strong, self-sufficient, tough, but tender, caring on the inside. 

Wuhrer will – if TPTB let her – bring something else entirely, an outrageous, uninhibited, saucy nature covering hidden, surprising depths. 

She’s the queen of the B-movies, the stuff adolescent boys get off on. I’ve seen more than my share of ‘em, I think one was on Showtime or HBO, another from VH-1, with her characters serving as little more than titillation, a reason to display her considerable assets (the top layer, an additional purchase, wink wink). And yeah, I saw her fluff films in hopes of catching a glimpse of her naked (she did not fail me in that regard, girlfriend ain’t modest). 

But I also saw a twist. This chick can act; I daresay, judging by the no-talents currently wasting my screen time ... RINGS around 3/4ths of the actresses already on staff at GH. 

I remember one movie where she played a rock star wannabe. She couldn’t sing (she can IRL), but was used as a pretty cover until the real singer revealed herself. In a throwaway scene to most people, Wuhrer’s character expressed disappointment and a yearning for acceptance, quite the reversal of the image from the expectation. 

The striking impression resonated just the same as when Madonna’s forgettable character on some forgettable straight to video took a moment to admit that she, too, wasn’t worth anything based on looks alone. 

I first noticed Kari Wuhrer tripping off her first name (WHIR WHIR IR GRR!) on MTV’s game show, “Remote Control,” back in the ‘80s. My brother turned me on to her with a simple statement of fact, “She has got the nicest butt on the planet. I’m going to marry her.” 

Also at the time, Wuhrer’s only physical claim to fame WAS her butt (ahem), but for me, that was enough. Her butt attracted me, but the rest of her bubbly, offbeat, animated personality kept me interested. 

Who knows. She might not be able to withstand the power of the female envy – of Herculean standards in daytime. She might not click at all with Benard’s Sonny Corinthos (frankly, I don’t see the reverberation). 

But for even a minute, for just a glimpse of those perfect buttocks... she’s worth my try. 

Besides, how much worse could she be compared to what we’ve already been stuck with?

 

 

Dear Coggie:

For the most, part we see eye to eye on the three soaps.  

I would like to comment on a few observations [week of December 13, 2004]: 

1. Bianca / Babe: I wish that could have gone on for a week. I loved it from the moment that AMC’s Bianca slapped Babe to when she told her "I dare you to cry," to the very end. At that point, I wanted more. What does Babe think that because she has ceased to commit a crime of kidnapping (a federal offense by the way, carrying a hefty penalty) and she sheds a few tears, that she should be off the hook, because things did not go right with her second husband, and she has another baby, so Miranda is a useless prop at this point? What if she and JR were still together for the next 30 years, or baby Ace (a way better name than James - I can’t wait until JR hears that one) wasn't found, does that mean that Miranda would never get to be with her real mother? I had enough of that Babe from day one and she just added fuel to the fire of that whole baby switching story. I almost threw up when I heard Tad defending that tart to Erica. That baby should have been with her mother from day one, Paul Cramer is not the only villain in this mess.  

2. JR. - I feel sorry for this man. I have from the second that Babe slept with his so-called brother. (I have been disgusted by Jamie though this whole storyline - they could not have made that character less likable or more self-righteous in my eyes - beating up his father and knocking him unconscious, unlawfully imprisoning his brother and then beating him up - he deserved what he got - as I see it, it was only self defense on JR's part - and he deserved so much more punishment.) While his means were way overboard (drugging Babe), I get him. He did what he could to protect his child. That Babe was a freak, and not stable. She should not have custody of "Bess" or "James." Also, no one showed him DNA tests to prove otherwise; a DNA test was done and the results (unbeknownst to him were rigged) proved that that child was indeed his. If someone came to me and told me my child was not mine, while there is scientific evidence to the contrary, I would fight like hell to protect and keep my child. Screw the rest of the world. Also he pegged Bianca right. She was self righteous (and I can say this because I do like her and I do sympathize with her), luring him to Florida so that she could aid in kidnapping his child. I hope TPTB will stop screwing with JR. 

3. Paul and Tico. I saw great potential for both of these characters, and I agree with you, [OLTL] screwed up royally. I actually stopped watching this show lately, hopefully it will get better soon.   

4. GH’s Carly is a self-righteous bitch. She never mentioned to Steven that she tricked Jason into sleeping with her when he was with Robin because he did not know better. I love how the writers re-write history. I agree with your opinion of her. Also I never liked how she treated any other female on the show, especially Elizabeth and Robin. Also I loved AJ (both of them actually) and the show never showed him holding Michael as a baby because they did not want to detract from Sonny being the father figure for Michael (snot-nosed kid that I cannot stand - little mini-me). AJ could have been a great parent to that kid and maybe he would not become a little mobster (or monster). It’s funny how Carly forgot that she also never told her son's father that he is his father and [Sonny] stooped to placing on a meat hook to have him sign over custody (that could have easily been contested in court because it was done under duress). 

5. I love Alexis, and I love the fact that Sonny acknowledged that Alexis is only trying to protect her daughter. I love that Ric and sonny had a moment of brotherly understanding. I cannot wait for Alexis and Ric to get it on. I agree, we see way too much of Sonny on this show.  

6. NEM - Enough already with the heartache. These kids are young. They should have some fun. I cannot bring myself to watch the storyline (I would rather fast forward the scenes) even though I am a supporter of this couple. By the way, Nik had to kill Helena (although she never does just stay dead) because nothing else could stop her.  

I have many more comments to make (E.g., I want to see more Aidan (without Anita), they need to replace the Diego character, as well as Lois, etc.)  But there is just too much to comment on. And I am sure you lost interest a long time ago.   

By the way do you know how I can contact TPTB and pass along my frustrations? 

 O

 

  

Hi, Carol & Kate - really enjoy your columns! I just have to get something off my chest about Paul Cramer (and later, that Babe person). Carol's latest column mentions his transformation, but there was another prior to that. When Paul flew to his half-sister Kelly's side at her Pine Valley hospital room (this occurred on OLTL, by the way) after her baby was stillborn, his concern for her & his desire to help & bond with his sibling were evident. He tearfully resisted as long as he could Kelly's pleas to "find" her a baby until his heartfelt desire to alleviate his sister's devastation led him to - reluctantly - comply with her hysterical demands. I was in tears watching this scene (I think knowing that the Toms were siblings in real life made it even more poignant for me) & I liked, was sympathetic toward Paul. He knew he was jeopardizing himself but did it anyway for the sake of his sister. He was at that time (at least in my opinion) a character capable of love, loyalty & redemption. But in the blink of an eye, the writers turned him into, as Carol says, "a pathetic, money-hungry loser and a weak-willed, whiny wimp." This was the FIRST transformation of Paul Cramer. All that brotherly feeling and potential character & story development was just abandoned. (It still does not ring true that Dorian would have absolutely no feeling for her flesh-&-blood nephew & would even welcome his death!) As far as the baby-switch story goes, I say it's time to place the blame where it's deserved: at the feet of those Krystal & Babe Carey persons! (Blechh!!) The beatification of Babe that is currently taking place on AMC sickens me. (As does the demonizing of JR.) She & her mother are beneath contempt, as far as I'm concerned. I feel JR is almost as much a victim as Bianca, and I would like to see him join forces with Bianca, Kendall, Tad, Erica, & Adam (and anybody else in PV or Llanview who wants to get involved) to drive the Careys out of Pine Valley and Llanview forever & ever, Amen! Jamie may return  to PV only after he properly atones (I don't know how, but it must involve suffering & groveling) for criminally assaulting (with bodily harm!) & forcibly confining his father & step-brother. As far as David goes, I refuse to belive that he fathered that Babe person! I'm hoping that this, too, is some hoax & that he will discover that "that Babe person" was never his daughter & he will finally have a storyline that showcases him FRONT & CENTRE! 

Alana

GRAPHICS BY SCOTT BILSTAD