Another General Hospital Column
Carolyn Aspenson 

Sometimes I sit at this computer and I think, ďGee, I really want to write a columnĒ but it just doesnít come out. I type and type and type and then when I re-read what Iíve written I see a bunch of words squished together in the form of some really lousy sentences. Then I look at Jen, Sherry, Dana and the Infamous Kathyís columns and I think ďI wish I could write like that!Ē and I sulk, call them names in fits of jealous rage and leave my computer pouting. A perfectionist at heart, I canít help but want to be better than all of them. When Iím not, I pout. When Iím hot, I gloat. Can you just see the maturity oozing out of my skin right now?  

All last week and whatís passed of this week so far, Iíve wanted to write something witty and funny and absolutely wonderful. But the kids, the dog, the neighbors kids and the neighbors dogs all had issues to deal with, taking up my time and energy. Iím so beat I even went to Starbucks and got a caffeinated drink. Darn it! But, in my defense, that is the only reason Iím sitting at this PC typing this column right now. A caffeine induced column. Should be interesting to see how this one turns out!   

Have you been watching? I have. Iíve been really into the ďCarly in a coma having dreams about dorky Lorenzo with the bad hair as her husbandĒ scenes. I love the twist to them and I loved seeing a bit of Ted Kingsí chest, which I havenít seen since the first season of Charmed (except for the brief showing in Sex in the City a few months back!) I just wish theyíd do something to that bad looking toupee on his head! Okay, I know itís not really a toupee, but Iíd rather think that than know that his gorgeous hair could perform so terribly! Itís nice to see, even if in a dream, Sonny chasing Carly for a change. Iím hopeful that once out of her coma Carly takes quite a while to realize she doesnít love Alcazar but really Sonny. Months. Years maybe. How great it would be to see her with Alcazar (with his good hair that is) and Sonny being the one thatís trying to win her over! Like Kathy says, he needs to be the chaser, the one to have to win her back for a change. Sheís proven over and over (and over) her loyalty, devotion and love to and for this guy and his response has been nothing better than dumping on her consistently. Do I think sheíll end up with Alcazar in the end? Come on, Iím a dreamer but I ainít stupid! According to all those polls where the apparent Sonny and Carly fans come out of hiding to vote in, theyíre number one. ABC and its staff wonít Ďfix it if it ainít brokeí, so I donít expect any long term relationship for the couple with the real chemistry. With that being said, I canít quite figure out who Iíd like to see Alcazar end up with, except maybe Skye because Robin Christopher has chemistry with anyone and anything. Iíd say Faith but as much as I like her, sheís just too wacko. I would fear for Alcazarís private part (you know, the thing that looks bigger when he shaves!J). She might get mad at him and go all Lorena Bobbitt. That would practically destroy Ted King for me.  And likely too for that fiancť he mentioned (much to my chagrin) on Soap Talk the other day. Iím still crawling out of my serious depression over that revelation!  

Iím glad that Emily finally gave Zander the boot. Not because I didnít like them as a couple (though they were a bit flat to me) but because itís about time Zander gets on with his life and gets rid of the girl that treats him like ca-ca. Katrina pegged it when she gave him a set of kahunaís for Christmas. However, since Liz took a ride on the wild pony this week Iím sure his kahunaís arenít gonna be blue!  Do I want to see him go down the road of Faith and revenge? Not really. Iíd like to see him find love where he least expects it, but apparently Gia has left the canvas so I donítí see much love happening for Zander any time soon. Besides, heís going to be mighty busy fighting Ric and taking care of his baby here once sweeps kick in. That will be an interesting story. I like Zander and Liz together. Theyíre real, honest and have a mutual respect for each other. Maybe something will come from that. We know weíre not getting Liz and Jason and frankly, no matter how amazing Ric looks in a suit, slime is slime and Iím just not finding him redeemable quite yet. More suits might do it, but itís unlikely.  I have to admit though, I found Rick Hearst to be quite charming at the fan event and had I had any quality time with him, I might just like his character. Just because the real ďRickĒ was so darn cute! I liked his answer to a fanís question, ďHow do you justify Ricís actions?Ē His reply, ďUm, with a pay check!Ē Go Hearst! Oh, sorry, I went off on a tangent. I do that when I think about cute men. Canít help it!  

I saw a spoiler somewhere (either Wubs, General Hospital Happenings or General Hospital for Fans, Iím not sure, so Iíll give them all credit) about Faith and Ric and you know something, I like them together. If they could get their egos out of it all, they might actually be able to run PC and wouldnít that be a hoot to watch! I love Faith. I love to hate her, yet I admire her for the size of her kahunas (no, no, no, not HER kahunaís! Iím not being literal with her here!) Frankly, sheís the only female on the show whoís got any!  

I recently read a letter written by a fan in one of the soap mags about Jax and Sam and how great they are together; their chemistry obvious, their scenes funny. After I blinked repeatedly, shook the confusion out of my head and took the blank look off my face I realized I must be taking bathroom breaks during all that because Iím just not seeing it at all. Itís flat, boring and borderline stupid. Did you see Jax grab Samís butt when he rescued her from sex with Chase? That was the funniest thing between them yet, the butt grabbing. Actually, thatís been the best part of Jax coming back so far. Their relationship is so bland. They have no chemistry and Kathyís right; get the hand off the back of the head Sam! Iím still having a hard time believing that Scotty canít see the resemblance between Livvie and Sam. We have many soap characters traveling from ABC soap to ABC soap, so to give us Sam in the same town as Livvie lived in is a bit hard to swallow for me. Maybe she should just get a new boat and float away. I wouldnít be too unhappy with that! 

I sure wish Lucky would get a life and do something with it for a change. Lucky as a cop would have been fun if he werenít out solely to arrest Luke and if he didnít tolerate the trash talk comments Scotty makes in reference to him and his father. Way to show Laura respect there Scott. Iím almost embarrassed for the wonderful Kin Shriner and what theyíve done to his character.  

These bits and pieces of older, long time actors like Bobbie and Alan and Monica tossed into the shows here and there is just plain rude to those of us who knew them when. Give me something fun with Monica and Alan! They have great comedic abilities and with all the drama going on on GH, a bit of lightheartedness, other than Dillon and Luke, would be much appreciated.  

Speaking of Dillon and Luke, give me more of them and also Dillon and Alcazar. Just give me more Dillon. Love that kid. I even love the hair! Heíll go far. Too bad heíll end up leaving GH soon to pursue bigger and better. Itís bound to happen. Think Jacob Young. Oh, wait. This guy actually has talent and will go far. Sorry, my mistake. Think Jonathan Jackson. Yeah, thatís what I meant. The real Lucky!  

Whatís going to happen with Ned now that his storyline is done? Is he considered old? Will he be canned or actually get another storyline? Will he read in the mags that heís been let go, totally unaware of his status? I think there needs to be a way to bring Nexis back together again. Perhaps something with the baby, since he and Skye got no where? I just wish ABC would let ME write the soaps for a change! Iíd have a blast! Jason and Elizabeth raising Zanderís baby, Emily being dumped by Nikolas because she took so darn long to decide, Sonny chasing after Carly or perhaps even falling for Faith! Ric and Courtney (it would have been AJ but Billy Warlockís hopefully moving on to bigger and better!)ÖIíve got all kinds of ideas!  

Tracyís coming back. Iím excited, but then again, I was excited when Rick Webber and Stefan came back. You know how those turned out. See ya Tracy. Itís been nice knowiní ya! 

I thought I might like Brian, the cop that is going to kiss Courtney? But something about his face is wrong. I canít put my finger on it but itís wrong and itís just giving me the willies. Darn, what a waste of potential eye candy.  

Whereís Maxie and Kyle?  

Well folks, thatís it for today. My caffeine buzz has worn off and Iím ready to hit the sheets (itís only 8pm) but Ed is on and Iíve just gotta watch!  

Have a great week! 


More From Carolyn:

Oct 23, 2003

Oct 20, 2003

Oct 13, 2003

Oct 12, 2003

Oct 7, 2003

September 23, 2003

August 18, 2003

August 11,2003

July 28, 2003

July 21, 2003