My Take on General Hospital

By

Carolyn Aspenson 

I have issues. Okay, thatís obvious! But I mean I have issues with General Hospital. I have such a problem with the show right now that I canít seem to watch a full episode without a true ďWTF!?Ē face. My husband thinks itís funny. Heís even hinted that maybe itís time to stop watching. And Iím starting to think he may be right, for a change. Itís not like itís General Hospital anymore anyway. Itís more like ďThe Life & Times of the Fab FourĒ.  

Letís start with the new opening. Kudos to GH for FINALLY getting rid of the Brenda and Sonny scene thatís been there forever! Thatís one of the few things that made me happy this week. But did you notice all of the other shots are only of Sonny & Carly and Jason and Courtney?  WTF!? If I were any of the other actors on that show Iíd be steaminí. Donít they get any recognition? I think Rebecca Herbst plays the best blind person Iíve ever seen hands down. If I didnít know better, Iíd think sheís truly blind. Give the girl some credit please folks. And what about Alcazar? Knowing how many people love this guy (and I know because I get constant emails saying how much you all love himÖ but remember, heís MINE!  J ), youíd think they show him eating M&Mís or something.  (YOWZA!) But nope. Nothing. Nada. Itís all about SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney.  One big, annoying word. 

I think I may have mentioned a time or twenty that Iím not a fan of ĎCourtneyí.  I donít think Alicia Willis is a bad actor. I loved her with Billly Warlock, (Iíd love anyone with Billy Warlock, if theyíd just give the guy a girlfriend and a storyline!) but frankly there is absolutely no chemistry between her and Steve Burton.  It seems forced on us, like weíre supposed to love them just because weíre told to. Jason and Robin had chemistry. Jason and Elizabeth had chemistry. Jason and Courtney are flat.  Have you noticed these two are almost identical to Carly and Sonny? Watch them Monday. Jasonís actions, comments, even the way he enunciates his words, his pauses between sentences, are all Sonny-like. Same with Courtney. She is just like Carly. Are these four taking acting lessons together? Itís like the choreographer from that cheerleading movie ďBring it OnĒ. Theyíre all doing the exact same thing because thatís what they know.  News flash! If they started to interact with other characters on the show, they might not all be Stepford actors. Steve Burton used to be able to act. Before the head incident, that is. The real problem I have with this is that I personally donít think Maurice Benard can act. I think heís being himself. So why would Steve Burton emulate that?  I just donít get it.  

Iím not sure what you think, but I bet that Tamara Braun and Alicia Willis are on the same menstrual cycle. Two women spending that much time together? Itís a given. I feel for Steve Burton and Maurice Benard. Thatís like my husband and my best friendís husband. Theyíre always out at Home Depot on those weekends when our pheromones are playing tag.  

Perhaps they shouldnít be called the ďFab FourĒ. Maybe something more true, more appropriate like ďThe ClonesĒ or even ďThe S-S-D-D-AĒ (same shit, different day actors. Sorry Kathy!) Iím just completely over them. And now, the writers are mingling the only two main stories on the show together: The Nikolas, Emily, Zander & Lydia quadrangle and the The Clones. I think weíve been misunderstood. When we said we wanted more stories, we didnít mean more stories with the same characters, SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney. In the infamous words of my genius-like four year old son, ďDUH!Ē  

On a side note, I would like to personally apologize to Kathy Hardeman because she is going to be shocked when she reads me talking trash about her favorite man, other than husband and sons, Steve Burton. I hope she can forgive me!  

Now on to more important issues. We get a brief amount of Greg Vaughn each week, doing his Jacob Young imitation. The guy can act, Iíve seen it. I just wish theyíd let him do it instead of making him into a not-deserving-of-his-emmy-Jacob-Young-clone. That just grinds my chain! So weíve got Lucky becoming a police officer. Whereís the tacky polyester uniform with the ďCADETĒ iron on? Hello people! Yes, this is a soap but can we have a taste of reality here every once in awhile? I, myself, in my skinnier, healthier days was a police cadet and let me tell you, never once did I get to investigate a murder of which I was personally involved. (Truth be told, I was never personally involved in any murders, but you get my point, right?) Heck, all I got to do was issue parking tickets. Lucky should be doing some of that! We now know that everyone whoís ever been offered a ride home from Kellyís actually does have a car since all of them were shown as possible suspects for hitting Elizabeth. So Iím sure thereís a lot of illegal parking to be stopped in PC. Go for it Lucky! Bring on that ticket book!  

And thank God Emily was cured! I must have missed that episode. Last I knew she was in the hospital sharing a mutual dream with Prince Nik who then kissed her out of a coma when she was near death. Now sheís out and about RUNNING ON THE DOCKS! I am truly amazed that the cancer chemo that didnít work, actually did. Or if it didnít, I guess I missed the episode of that one shot chemo treatment that allowed her be healthy and well enough to start exercising again, keep her hair, get rid of the terrible dark circles under her eyes and look like the Homecoming Queen she was in Macon, GA years ago.  I hope they bottle that cure and sell it over the counter.  The writers would be rich in a heart beat.  

Okay, I admit it, any scene where Tyler Christopher has his shirt off is worth watching. I donít care what itís about.  Lydia, Emily, Lucky, a car wash. Anything. Bring it on!  

Now letís talk about the really, really stupid storyline thatís started this week. Lilly comes back from the dead. Do I like the premise? Yes! I like all things Ted King (and have even started watching his previous series, Timecop on FX just because heís so darn hot!). And I like the fact that they are playing with the mind of a nutcase, Sonny the Mob King. I keep praying that God will allow the powers that be to actually push Sonny off the top of the mountain we know as PC and let Alcazar be the king of the mountain for a change. But that ainít gonna happen. The problem I have with this storyline is again based on the writers true inability to even be remotely able to at least TOUCH on reality. 

Folks, Lilly has been dead since 1996. Nothing personal but she would NOT look as good as the Lilly I saw walking around Sonny and Carlyís penthouse Friday. Whereís the worms? The maggots? At least some bones sticking out of her rotting skin somewhere? Come on! She wouldnít be even partially whole anymore. Sheíd be DUST! Crumbs of a humanís body left to rot away six feet under. And donít even get me started on the dress! The pure ďEWĒ factor of someone digging up the body and actual implication of wearing the dress that was attached to all of that rot and maggot infestation is just way too much for me to handle.  Give the girl some worms protruding out of her cheeks and maybe Iíll be more convinced.  But right now itís just plain funny because itís so stupid.  

There is really one thing I like about General Hospital right now. Dillon and Georgie. They have such amazing chemistry together and I swear, itís like he is really in love with her!  But given the fact that heís really 20 and sheís 14, that would be a bit illegal. I really enjoy the realism these two share, their ability to interact and play off of each other. On Friday, when Georgie commented that everyone was looking at them and Dillon made reference to his hair, even my husband (who doesnít watch the show, remember?) cracked up. Great actors, great chemistry. I hope these two get recognition. They deserve it.  

Well, I think Iíve ripped on GH enough for the week. Letís see how many emails I get in defense of SonnyCarlyJasonCourtney and how many I get agreeing with me! Iím sure someoneís going to get personally offended. I guess I have a talent in offense!  

Have a great week! Eat healthy and exercise!

 

More From Carolyn:


August 18, 2003


August 11,2003


July 28, 2003


July 21, 2003