My creative writing muses have apparently left for vacation and been replaced with the jewelry designing muses. I haven’t had even a remote interest in writing, or anything else for that matter, except making jewelry. I’d call it an obsession but that seems like such a negative word. How about ‘committed enthusiasm”? Yeah, that sounds much, much better. So in an effort to call back the creative writing muses, I’ve decided to let my fingers do the typing and whatever hits the screen, goes to Katrina. Wish me luck. This could get mighty ugly!
First and foremost, I’d like to make a plea to the readers of my ever so irregular attempts at script…If there are any real estate agents reading this right now, quick! Send me an email! (Carolyn@eyeonsoaps.com). I am seriously considering a career move (or shall I say, a career, since I don’t currently have one!) as an agent but I’d like to chat about it with a professional. Second request: If there are any readers out there currently residing in the state of GA, (that’s GAWGA to us southerners!) please email me too! I’d like to know where you live (not specific addresses, cities would be fine) because I’m in GA and I feel lonely!
Now that that’s out of the way, on to the more important stuff…
Remember a month or so ago when I wrote my column, “Letting Go of Emotional Baggage”? Quick refresher: It was the one about the ending the relationship with my best friend because it wasn’t really a positive influence in my life. Well, let me tell you, did the shit really hit the fan on that one! To make a long story short (because we all have lives and you’d be reading my column until your great, great, great grandchild’s great great, great grandchild died!) the friendship is so definitely over, it’s long surpassed over!
I tried very hard to put some things aside that had been bothering me, but it simply wasn’t working. I knew she and I needed to talk and I knew something was up on her end too, but I didn’t know what. Her husband, who happens to have been (notice the past tense?) my husband’s great friend, out of the blue, stopped talking to us, waving at us, acknowledging us. Remember, we live across the street from each other, so that makes for a mighty comfy situation! It was frustrating and infuriating, but I tried to just take it in stride. And then we found out from a few people that my “friend” had been talking about us in a not-so-positive way. That was it for me. After confirmation from different people that yes, she’d said these things (things that, by the way, these people wouldn’t have heard from anyone else because she and her husband were the only ones we’d told!) I decided it was time to talk and put this crap to bed. I called her but she didn’t answer and I left a message. Was it a really nice message? No. Was it terrible? No. I told her I was tired of the backstabbing and talk and that we needed to talk about things or it was going to get ugly. I also told her that I was fine not being friends because she was too insecure for a real friendship. Yup. I was quite the unhappy camper. She then called me back and left me a message (not sure why, because I called her from home, yet she called my cell phone and left me a message instead of talking to me directly.) and ripped me a new “you know what” (Kathy is likely reading this and I hate to swear too much because I’m trying to be a better person since she is so successful at it!). That did it! The Italian in me exploded and I called her back (of course, she didn’t answer, chicken shit. Sorry, Kathy!) and I left her a rather scathing message about how I felt. She then returned the favor and I declined the response. At that point she had her 14 year old daughter (yes, you read that right) call me and start to say, “My mom wants me to tell you” and I started laughing at the absurdity of the immaturity she showed having her daughter call me! I told her daughter “If your mom has something to say, have her talk to me, I’m not talking to a 14 year old.” And I hung up.
About an hour later her husband came prancing into our yard and told my husband they were calling the police because I’d threatened her on the phone. Excuse me? Threatened her? Apparently I’d missed that one because I absolutely did not threaten her. It did come out at that point that he was upset because we “ignored” his wife while she was sick. Funny, the phone works both ways and I didn’t hear mine ringing that week when my son bit through his tongue and was rushed to the emergency room! Did I see that as a reason to play the childish game, “I’m not talking to you because I’m mad at you and I’m not gonna tell you why either. Na! Na! Nana! Na!” Nope. Too mature for that!
Give or take another hour and wa-la, the police pulled up to their house! Jack and I laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. So much for best friends having a civil conversation to air out their differences. Shortly there after the nice police woman was at my door with the look of pure annoyance on her face. I giggled and apologized for wasting her time and we discussed what happened. She stated that my first message wasn’t in the least rude or threatening but that my next message wasn’t so nice. She added to that however, that my second message was obviously a response to a message from my friend that had upset me. She also stated that she mentioned this to them while at their house. Apparently they chose not to press charges when she informed them that if I had messages on my phone I could in turn do the same. The officer and I both agreed this was an incredible waste of time and pathetically stupid, boarding on junior high-like, not even at the maturity level of high schoolish! All I simply wanted to do was discuss what the hell was happening and find some resolution. Friends or not, it didn’t matter.
The decision was made. Once you bring the police in, all bets are off. Apparently they felt I’d threatened her with my comment of “I’m not going to leave messages anymore. If you want to talk about this, come over and we’ll have it out.” Even the officer thought that was silly. I guess I didn’t have to worry about ending the friendship after all because it ended quite nicely on its own!
The thing that’s funny about it all is that these two people, whom I’ve known for six years, have never, in that time, taken any responsibility for any wrong-doings on their part. They’ve never once said they’re sorry for anything, small or big, nor have they allowed their kids to accept any responsibility for their negative actions. They have continually found a way to blame others and skirt their responsibility right out the door. Once this was all over and done, I felt such an amazing sense of peace and relief, I can’t even begin to describe it to you! My mood lightened, I laughed more and felt better mentally and physically than I had in a long, long time.
The lesson? When something just doesn’t seem right, (this friendship hadn’t for over a year) LOSE IT! Don’t hang on to something that isn’t working, no matter how much you think you want it, because in the long run you will be so much better off.
My ex-best friend and I did have a small conversation recently. She wanted to know who told me the things she said because she insists she didn’t say anything. I didn’t tell her. It’s just not important anymore. She feels confident she didn’t say anything negative, but considering she has consistently talked trash about just about everyone we know, I’m sure she did it and just didn’t realize it. Which in my book is worse that intentionally talking about your best friend!
While all of this was going on, I realized a few things about my life and the friends I’ve made throughout the years. Friendships are cyclical. You make friends throughout your life based on where you are in your personal journey and when you take a new route, some friendships last and others fall by the curve. That’s healthy.
Since ending that friendship, I’ve greatly improved my eating habits, lost 10 lbs of fat and toned up those terribly flabby triceps that have bothered me for the past year. I’m wearing clothes I haven’t worn in two years again! She and I used to find excuses to chow on M&M’s and anything else we could get our hands on. If she was upset and wanted chocolate, so did I. If she wasn’t in the mood to workout, neither was I. It was a truly unhealthy way to support a friend. I’ve made a few friends at my health club whom I see daily. They inspire me to workout more, harder and better. They are supportive of my efforts and a wonderfully positive influence on my lifestyle. I’ve got to know them quite well and feel blessed to have them in my life!
Phew! I wasn’t looking forward to writing all of that! I just wanted to toss it where it goes, into my emotional garbage can and not look back. But I’ve received a few emails asking what happened so I thought I should at least provide an update.
Now on to the really, really important stuff: General Hospital.
Admittedly, I haven’t watched more than, maybe 2 hours in the past month. I see bits and pieces here and there, but this jewelry thing has taken over and I can’t seem to take that hour out of my day to sit in front of the TV and simply watch it. Sorry. I’ve kept up with the spoilers, rumors and news from the various sites and I have a few comments to make regarding a thing or two…
Now that would be a fun story!
I am going to make a concentrated effort to watch more of the show and spend more time thinking about things to write about instead of thinking about beads to string on a wire. Wish me luck!
Have a great week and
remember, if you walk an additional 15 minutes a day you could stop
yourself from gaining ten pounds this year!
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