I need to start this column by admitting I was wrong. I thought it was a mistake to replace Kale Brown as Sam Rappaport. Nothing against Laurence Lau, I loved him as Greg Nelson on AMC. I find myself enjoying his interpretation of Sam even though he looks a bit young for the role. He has a freshness and lightness that I now realize was missing in the character. For the first time, I can see what must have drawn Nora to Sam in Chicago and what will undoubtedly draw her to him the future. Mr. Lau’s portrayal is allowing me to see Sam through new eyes, one of the marks of a successful recast. 

That said….  

I think Llanview must have the largest number of felons per capita in the country. Of course, they have not all been convicted or even charged but they are felons nonetheless.  The police commissioner is guilty of aggravated assault and obstruction of justice.  The officers under him, even the rookies, continually break the law. Lindsey has committed more felonies than RJ could ever dream of and he has committed his share.  Asa is guilty of attempted murder and bribery. Will is an embezzler, and, worse, he is the exception that proves the rule about bad guys being the most interesting characters on soaps. Last summer Jessibrat and Cris harbored a fugitive and this summer they tampered with evidence. In addition to being Max’s partner in crime, Blair is guilty of attempted murder. Max has committed embezzlement, fraud and blackmail. Jen and Sam are guilty of something, we just don’t know what yet. Nora is now guilty of theft, breaking and entering and tampering with evidence. Even Starr, who isn’t even 10 years old, is guilty of credit card fraud. And then there is her father, Todd, who is guilty of, well what isn’t Todd guilty of? 

While listing these felonies, all which occurred in the past 12 months, I realized that most of the current storylines are crime related: Blair’s trial, Colin’s murder and Vicki’s kidnapping.  Is this OLTL or The Edge of Night? The only non-crime storyline is Asa’s marriage of convenience to Gabrielle. But even that is payback to Max for conning and blackmailing Asa. Watching the past two weeks of OLTL, one question kept running through my mind and it wasn’t “who killed Colin?”  It was           

“Where is the love?” 

Yes, where is the love in Llanview?  Historically, Llanview has been filled with love: Megan & Jake, Vicki & Joe, Luna & Max. Max & Gabrielle, Jess & Cris (the early years), Larry & Meredith, Bo & Nora, Andy & Antonio, Hank & Carlotta.  I am not looking to live vicariously, having plenty of love in my life but a true love story would be a welcome counterpoint to all this darkness. I want to dance at someone’s wedding not dance on someone’s grave. True, we had Vicki’s wedding not long ago, but was the focus on the bride and groom? No, the focus was on Charlie, the hitman. There was hope with those demented soulmates Blair and Todd. Call me crazy but Todd’s recent extreme cruelty towards her pretty much put the old kibosh on that romance.   Will and Jessibrat? Roseanne and Antonio? Bo and Lanie? These relationships are soporific, not romantic. Romance needs energy, an ingredient sorely lacking in these couples.

Rae and John had that touching scene in front of the fireplace but that was long ago and that romance has been sacrificed to the crossover gods. There could be romance between Cris and Jen, but not as long as every other phrase she utters is, “I want to tell you something but can’t.”  And what female character deserved romance more than the wonderful Sophia? How sad that it never happened for her. And what a sad commentary on the men of Llanview for not beating a path to her door.  

My dancing shoes are ready, Gary Tomlin, please me give a reason to wear them soon!!  

This week’s OLTL list: 

1.       Exactly where did Nora take that money to have the fingerprints checked so quickly? Does the Llanview Kinko’s now offer fingerprinting services?

2.       What is going on with Will’s hair? How long has he been obsessed with Chris Isaac?

3.       I like Seth. I do not need to know anything about him except he comes from Angel Square to like him. I hope his presence is foreshadowing the return of Linda Soto and the rest of the Angel Square crew.

4.       I loved the scene between Nora and RJ. One day maybe Nora will realize she married the wrong Gannon brother.

5.       I am glad Lindsey has gone to North Carolina. Jen is not the only one who needs a break from her mother, so do I.

6.       I like Jen for continuing to question her family’s devotion to keeping secrets. And she showed gumption by asking for her aunt’s version of how Lanie and Lindsey’s father died.

7.       Seeing Ben struggling to be smart was just painful.

8.       How come no one has noticed that Blair doesn’t even look weeks pregnant, let alone months along? 

 I do not follow Todd’s reasoning that having Blair committed to St. Anne’s is better than getting off scott-free, I was very happy to see Addie again. She has always been one of my favorite characters. If Dorian cannot be here to help Blair, at least she has Addie. Despite the fact that she is unbalanced, she is a good mother.  

May is not sweeping along quite the way I had hoped at OLTL but there is still enough going on to keep me hopeful. Well, as hopeful as this cynic can be, that is.