lines of the week, aug/sept

AJ: To my brother, the Golden Boy, who came up with the idea that, it's
just fine to steal my son. (Drinks 1st shot)
And his partner in crime, Sonny, who continued and expanded on the
tradition by stealing not just my son, but my wife. (Drinks 2nd shot)
And now . . . to the Tramp, who gave them both permish . . . both
permission, in the broadest sense, Broad! HA HA! Where do I come up with
this? huh? To the Tramp! (Drinks 3rd shot)
****************************
Emily: Why'd you make me stop?
Zander: I'd like to make it to my next birthday if it's all right with
you.
****************************
GH Blonde Moments:
Flea: If you need me to prove your innocence, I will do that for you.
(Um . . . let's see . . . NOW would be a good time Felicia)
****************************
Carly (to Bobbie): We've been getting along for awhile now . . . kind of .
. . lately . . . sort of.
****************************
Luke: Truth has never been very good to me. And it's certainly nothing to
torch a marriage over.
****************************
Bobbie (to Carly): Maybe you married the right man after all.
****************************
Flea: Mac and I may never get back what we had, but if we give it a second
chance maybe we can have something more.
Luke: Then don't tell him where you were the night Count Vlad flew the
coop.
****************************
Flea: What if you need my help?
Luke: Then you know what? I'll send up a smoke signal - right there - in
court. I'll set Baldwin's hair on fire, if it'll burn. HE wouldn't
notice.
****************************

9/28/2000
*********************
Alexis: Judges don't like it when prisoners disappear. It costs the
taxpayers money and it makes the police look bad.
*********************
Luke: You're lucky. Baldwin and I are going to be re-arranging deck
furniture on the Titanic, while you stand on the dock and wave bye-bye.
*********************
Roy: I do find that interesting though.
Luke: What?
Roy: That you would clam up about an alibi, seein' as how, for once in
your life, I imagine you've got a legitimate one.
*********************
Stefan: You are quite a swimmer.
Chloe: Thanks . . . In school, I was definitely headed for the Olympics.
Stefan: Really?
Chloe: In my dreams. Who would've thought back then that someday swimming
might help me get off a deserted island?
Stefan: Ah, swimming? or your dreams?
*********************
Stefan: I really hope you don't plan to breast-stroke back to
civilization.
*********************
Carly: You remember that bet we made that my marriage would last?
Jason: Yeah, what about it?
Carly: You owe me 20 bucks.
*********************
Chloe (to Stefan): So basically we're doing a re-enactment of your very
weird childhood?
*********************
(After Chloe tells him how much he is unlike Helena)
Stefan: I only hope you don't change your opinion of me as you get to know
me better.
*********************

9/27/2000
*************************
Luke: Please tell me this isn't my first visitor . . . I think I'm going
to have to file a complaint with Amnesty International. Breakfast
consisted of tepid, rancid coffee, moldy toast, and eggs I wouldn't step in
with your shoes. Now this?? This is cruel and unusual punishment.
Mac: This won't take long. Have you obtained legal counsel?
Luke: HA! Yeah, I obtained legal counsel and you ripped her off my case.
*************************
Luke:   . . .if I were you, maybe I'd hate me too . . . I DO hate me, and
I'm not you.
*************************
Luke: Counselor Comfort - Ahh! My altruistic attorney a.k.a. Natasha of
the Naughty Nightie. Please tell me you're here to tell me they're going
to let you don your litiginous lingerie and defend me after all.
Alexis: This doesn't make me want to help you.
*************************
Luke: Well then get me some Dynamite and an UZI I'm gonna need major
weaponry to get outta here!
Alexis: What you need, is an attorney.
Luke: What I NEED is a tank and a flame thrower!
*************************
Luke: The only way I'll ever believe Count Vlad is actually dead, is if I
see him myself, laying in a pine box with a silver stake through his heart.
Alexis: So we're back to that are we?
*************************
Luke: Scott? Scott? In case you don't know it, Not too many years ago,
Scott had a lovely young wife. She was seduced away from him by a
cavalier, skinny, curly-haird fella - who I hold very near and dear - and
ever since then, Scott has HATED MY GUTS!!!
*************************
Alexis: You do make life difficult -- Wife Stealer!
Luke: Pardon me? It's a little hard to understand you with that rose
between your teeth.
*************************
Scotty (to Luke): No-No, She left me a message. Said that you wanted me
to represent you.
Alexis (interupting Luke): He does. He just doesn't know it yet.
*************************
Luke: It's like an insanity defense. You know? Call me old-fashioned,
but I'd like an attorney who doesn't want me to rot in prison!
Alexis: Was that a "Yes?"
Luke: (pause) Yeah. I guess it is. (pause) I mean my uh judgement is
severly IMPAIRED being locked up like this, deprived of food and decent
conversation!! You tell me there's no "Johnny Cochran" who'll take my
case? SURE! Let's give it to Baldwin.
*************************
Alexis (to Luke & Scotty): Now, with both of your oversized egos having
been properly serviced . . . Can we get to work?!? (mutters under her
breath) Bunch of Babies. . .
*************************

9/26/2000
****************************
Sonny: I see. Now we're married, you get to tell me about my eating
habits?
Carly: Turnabout's fair play right? I should make you drink a big fat
glass of milk and eat a banana!
****************************
Carly: Excuse me, wait a minute! Shouldn't you be telling your
housekeeper to not pick any fights with your wife?
Sonny: I already did. (grin)
****************************
Alexis: I'm not being modest, honey, I'm being honest.
****************************
(On why she isn't going to give the lecture)
Alexis: Because, I'm practical, and I realize I'm the "Millennium Woman,"
because it was a slow news day, that day.
****************************
Alexis: . . . But I applaud your persistence.
Committee Woman: My role model once crashed in the Sahara Desert. Her
whole life has been about persistence. I learn from her!
****************************
Ned: Sweetheart, How can you let down all these young feminists? They
NEED you as a role model.
Alexis: Thanks. You're a big help. You know what I would say to them?
I'd say: Study hard, Make sure that you walk over hot coals to become a
respected attorney, because you will gain your fame by posing in your
underwear on the internet. Oh! What a world!
****************************
Mike (to Carly): I want him happy, and I think . . . you make him happy.
****************************
Gia: What is it with you? You think you're gonna get a gold star for
letting your brother walk off with your girl?
Nikolas: How thick can one head be? Elizabeth and Lucky fell in love
years ago.
Gia: "How thick can one head be?" You know, if they do a study, you
should volunteer.
****************************
I just have to say I was BLOWN AWAY by that scene between Mike and Sonny.
I wanted to cry. Deep stuff, very deep.

9/25/2000
**********************
Scotty: You know it is gettin' a little chilly in here. You think hell's
freezin' over?
**********************
Scotty: Well, Alexis is the one that slipped me under the door.
Luke: Well, Alexis has a peculiar sense of humor.
**********************
(Taggert has AJ pinned up against the wall)
Nurse: Is everything okay ?
AJ: Does it LOOK okay ?!?
**********************
AJ: You know who I am?
Hospital Guard: You're the drunk guy giving me a hard time.
**********************
Carly:   . . . or I could suck it up and tell you the truth which is that
(pause) Besides that fish you made that night on the island, I loathe and
despise everything about seafood. The smell, the look, the color, the
texture, the fact that these creatures recently bottom fed on the ocean
floor, it makes my skin crawl.
Sonny: Ok. You wanna tell me how you really feel?
**********************
Sonny:   . . . You never know what's gonna happen when you're around. I
kinda like that.
Carly: I thought it kinda made you wanna wring my neck.
**********************
Carly:    . . . I tend to jump to the next OBVIOUS conclusion. Well,
anyway - obvious to me.
**********************
Sonny: So, am I hearing "Good night?"
Carly: I think you, um, unless you want to see exactly how much willpower
I don't have, yeah.
**********************
(After discussing the possibility of Scotty being Luke's attorney)
Bobbie: I'm surprised you'd even consider it.
Scotty: Because he ruined my first marriage? Why would I let a little
thing like that get in the way?
**********************
Bobbie: I brought you something.
Luke (hopefully): A blowtorch?
**********************
Bobbie's words of wisdom:
Bobbie: Forget the past - so you can have a future.
**********************
Liz: We missed our train.
Lucky: That's why God made busses.
**********************

9/22/2000
****************************
Luke (to Alexis): How -bout you slip into that notorious teddy of yours,
create a disturbance and I'll make a break for it?
****************************
Elizabeth (to Helena): Get the HELL away from him!!!
(3 Cheers for Liz! It's about d*mn time too!)
****************************
Alexis: I will make sure whoever it is, knows exactly what's going on,
including how having a client like you can be painful.
Luke: Painful? Give me a good attorney or I'll show you pain!
****************************
Jason: What exactly is he supposed to do with that?
Carly: He is supposed to look at me wearing it and be happy that he
married me.
****************************
Juan: So, how is she?
Taggert: She's um, still unconscious, but apparently that's normal.
****************************
Taggert: Gia! Gia! Can you not go ANYWHERE without picking a fight?!?
****************************
Carly: Are you sure that I can leave that lobster sitting in the oven?
Because it would really put a damper on the evening if I gave him food
poisoning.
****************************
Jason (incredulously): There's frozen pizza in Sonny's fridge?
Carly: Yeah. It's my favorite snack. He keeps it for me.
Jason: And you're afraid he doesn't care about you?!?
****************************
Jason: Be nice.
Sonny: When am I not nice?
****************************
Taggert (to Gia): Now don't say anything to Mom that's gonna cause her to
have another heart attack before I get back, all right?
****************************
Nikolas: So I thought that I'd come back here and annoy you to make time
go more quickly.
(they talk about having parents with high expectations)
Gia: What IS this, like, a really close moment between us?
Nikolas: No, it's just me trying to annoy you.
****************************
Sonny: All right - you know since it's your night - you get to win all the
arguments.
Carly: You see how much easier it is when you let me have my way?
****************************
Luke: You know I was just getting to sleep. This is cruel and unusual
punishment. I mean, ain't a guy entitled to a lil' peace and quiet on his
way to a lethal injection?
****************************
Luke: Well, come on in Alexis. Come on, my little Pin-Up Girl.
(Scotty enters)
Scotty: I'm not your "little Pin-Up Girl." Just your lawyer.
Luke: When HELL freezes over!
****************************
Emily (to Zander): You know, you're a drug dealer? And YOU'RE trying to
tell ME that "pixie sticks are bad for you?" Come on!
****************************

9/21/2000
****************************
Bobbie: Are you gonna eat that or what?
Luke: Barbara . . . there's no gun in here. Not even a file.
Bobbie: You're joking, of course.
Luke: Well? How do you expect me to escape without weaponry?
****************************
Elizabeth (to Mike after hearing about Carly & Sonny's marraige): The next
time you see Sonny, give him my condolences.
****************************
Stefan (to Chloe): Well I am certainly glad I'm working with you and not
against you. You're a formidable opponent.
****************************
Chloe (to Stefan about a game of Gin): You don't stand a chance. CRUNCH!
(she bites ferociously into her apple).
****************************
Edward: In my day, a man did not enjoy the sight of his girlfriend
plastered all over the newspaper in her underwear.
Ned: Did I SAY I was enjoying this?
****************************
Monica: You want me to CONTINUE the treatments?!?
Edward: Well, it seems like a waste to stop now.
****************************
Lila: Monica's right. I find your change of attitude quite curious.
Edward: Look Lila, if this whole fertility nonsense gives Monica the
slightest distraction from worrying about Emily, then its worth it!
Lila: You're right dear.
Edward: Besides, it's not as if Alan and Monica will ever really GET
pregnant . . .
****************************
Mike: So you and Sonny got married?
Carly: Go ahead. Take your best shot.
Mike: Why would I do that? I mean I'm the one that caused this whole
mess.
Carly: Well, you may have gotten the ball rolling - but I sure as hell ran
with it, didn't I?
****************************
Luke: I listen. I just prefer to take my own advice.
****************************
Alexis: "Popularity," is for homecoming queens. I have a law degree!
****************************
Bobbie: You're serious?
Carly: No, I'm trying out my new standup routine, Mother. Yeah - I'm
serious!
****************************

9/20/2000

**************************
Alexis: Eddie's Angel. She won't go away, you know? We're going to have to get rid of her once and for all.
Ned: Couldn't we just keep her around for strictly private appearances?

**************************
Bobbie: . . . your plans haven't been going so well . . .
Luke: HEY! My plans have been superb! Apart from a couple of bad
accents, a dead monkey, and some problems with a bank in London . . .

**************************
Alexis (reading aloud): "Dear Alexis, Can I have an 8 x 10 glossy of you . . . " That's disgusting! Ah, There we go. A marraige proposal!
Ned: Ah! Well at least HE wants to make it legal.
Alexis: It's a "she"
Ned: Oh.

**************************
Edward (about Alan & Monica): They're too old to be playing fertility
games.

**************************
Alexis (to Luke): Your sister tells me that you've been begging for me and would grovel for my help.

**************************
Alexis: I have a confession to make.
Luke: Oh? Something lurid I hope.
Alexis: Close

**************************
Alexis: I'm just warning you it could be risky to have an attorney . . .
Luke: Who is better known for her unmentionables than her litigation?
Alexis: Do you want my help or not?
Luke: With or without the rose in your teeth?

**************************
9/19/2000

**************************
Justice of the Peace: You'd better sign the marriage certificate before the bride decides to bolt.

**************************

Alexis: Every marriage needs an element of suspense.
Justice of the Peace: I thought marriage was supposed to remove the
suspense.
Alexis: No, that's were marriages go wrong . . . Boredom . . . the insidious homewrecker.

**************************

Alexis: Anyone care for a drink? I know that I could use one.
Carly: Attorney, Internet Goddess, and Floating Hostess to boot?

**************************

Zander: Call me a raging paranoid, ok? Humor me! All right?

**************************

Roy: When's the last time you saw a dragon in Port Charles?

Bobbie: Last time Mac reamed me about Luke.

**************************

GH BLONDE MOMENTS:

Bobbie: Felicia?

Flea: Bobbie? I thought you were Mac (giggle).

**************************

Taggert (to Gia): If you don't have the common sense to be ashamed, at LEAST have the
common sense to fake it!!!

**************************

Taggert: You make it sound like I left you in an orphanage.
Gia: More like a boot camp for fulfilling mother's dreams.
Taggert: Guess basic training didn't take.

**************************

Jason: You guys should celebrate
Sonny: Right-Right.
Carly: What do you suggest? Like we-we release some doves from the roof?

**************************

Carly: Wait, now there's some sort of rule. You can't refuse a bride on her wedding day.
Sonny: Especially if the bride's Carly. Right Jason?

**************************

Jason: Can you give us a minute?
Alexis: Course! I'm going to bring Carly this bouquet. She may want to toss it. You don't happen to have a helmet do you?

**************************

Chloe: We should do this more often.
Stefan: What? Hunt and Fetch? With me as the dog?

**************************

Chloe: And THAT (the supply boat), is our way off the island!
Stefan: If we want to leave in body bags.

**************************

Chloe: I am a positive person, you should follow my lead . . .
Stefan: Over a cliff? Into a hale of bullets?

**************************

Taggert: You want my attention Gia?!? You got it! Extorting Emily did the trick, not to mention toying with a killer.

**************************

Hannah (to Taggert): This may come as a shock to you, but Gia is WAY out of her diapers.

**************************

Jason (about Carly): She's in love with you Sonny. THAT's what's wrong with her.

**************************

Alexis: I kind of, know how you feel.
Carly: I kind of, doubt it.

**************************

Alexis: You know Carly, there is something to be said for companionship.
Carly: If you're eighty.
Alexis: If you're human.
Carly: Which I'm not.

**************************

Alexis: I'm also very observant. And I notice something about you.
Carly: Are we SURE I want to hear this?

**************************

Stefan: Some of us are less forgiving.

**************************

Flea's BEST line of the week
Flea: Mac, there's no body, there's no blood, no DNA. Doesn't that say
"Shadow of Doubt?"

**************************

Alexis: As your attorney, I feel it's my job to inform you that it isn't a felony if you happen to like your wife. It's not even a misdemeanor.
Sonny: Oh fine, How much do I owe you for that?
Alexis: It's free. It's a wedding present. I like to give practical gifts.

**************************

Carly: Oh great! A NON-Wedding followed by a NON-Reception.

**************************

Zander: I didn't go to kidnapper school.
(Later on)
Emily: Sorry, I didn't go to hostage school.
Zander: So we're even.
**************************

9/18/2000

****************************
Luke: I am not Luke Spencer. I am Sir Edward Mainwearing. (Shows his passport) Interpol: Nice work. Who does these forgeries for you?

Alexis: I am sure we'll all agree that weddings aren't always what you'd expect . . .
Carly: Who asked you?!?
Alexis: . . . you get to the alter and you don't know what's going to happen. Or in this case, the living room.

Alexis: . . . Carly will stay put. (I can hear Dr. Evil saying "Ri-i-i-i-i-ight")

Dr. (to Emily): You should take it easy. (yeah, no problem! She just has a kidnapper with a gun to help her out here!)

Taggert: I'm glad to see you too Gia. (gee,that's the first time I've heard that line on GH)

Roy: Have you ever noticed how stubborn that guy is?
Bobbie: What'd he do this time?

Carly: I panicked. I'm over it. I'm ready. Let's do this.
Alexis: I'll get the J.P.
Carly: I'm sorry. I lost it.
Sonny: It happens.
Carly: At least I didn't start shooting . . . (Sonny gives her a look) not funny - okay.

Luke: Do you find a spot of tea really sorts things out for you, Miss Pennybond?
Ms. Pennybond: Yes. I do.
Luke: I find that's true of me and whiskey. A pity they (Interpol) won't join us, Ay?

Roy: I'm just "Joe Citizen," ya know, "Joe Hungry Citizen," ya know, wishin' he was home right now.

9/15/2000

Alexis: I'm a lawyer, not a magician! (The Dr. McCoy Star Trek fans will appreciate this one)

**************************

Sonny: I'd also appreciate it if you got her a bouquet, of flowers.
Alexis: Do I look like a maid? of honor? This is going to cost you
triple.
Sonny: Come on, just . . . can you set her up?
Alexis: Will ragweed do?

**************************

Carly: Is Alexis okay with this now? Because I wouldn't want your attorney having second thoughts about our marriage.

**************************

Carly: I don't exactly have, like, a wedding dress just waiting in the
closet, Sonny.

**************************

Carly: I'd like a lot more from marraige, than for someone to take care of me.
Alexis: Then MAKE more of it. You look lovely . . . not skimpy at all.

**************************

Justice of the Peace: . . . Marraige is an honorable mistake . . .Before we proceed, is there anyone who can show cause why these two should not be married? Let them speak now.
Alexis: (coughs)
Sonny: Are you all right?
Jason: Getcha some water?
Justice of the Peace: Allow me.
Alexis: Ahem (waves her finger no) Really it's . . .tickle in my throat .. . it's nothing, honestly. Proceed.
Justice of the Peace: Very well. Any uh . . . objections?
Alexis: No-No objections. Right?
Jason: No
Alexis: No objections.

**************************

9/14/2000

Chloe: How has this woman never been caught?
Stefan: You supply enough money to 98% of the world, they'll cooperate.
The other 2% are generally susceptible to threats.

**************************

Stefan: Learn to think like her (Helena)
Chloe: I . . . don't think so.
Stefan: That doesn't surprise me. You have a conscience.

**************************

Zander: I don't watch chick movies.

**************************

Helena: The family attorneys have all agreed that a . . . no what were their words? "A Mob Mouthpiece and a Rock-n-Roll Pin-Up Girl is highly unsuitable as trustee."

**************************

Zander: The first badge I got in Boy Scouts was knot tying.
Emily: How'd you do in kidnapping?

**************************

Carly: What am I? A "Get Out of Jail Free" card for Sonny?

**************************

Bobbie: Oh Honey, Come on, This mess that you got him into is hardly a
"little" mistake.

**************************

Alexis (to Helena - in a surprisingly cheerful voice): Expect a call from your lawyer!

**************************

Luke: Guess who just showed up in Port Charles?
Roy: Not a clue.
Luke: I'll give you one. She's the #1 suspect, as far as we're concerned, as to who may have iced Stefan.
Roy: Helena? (no sh*t sherlock)

**************************

NOTE TO WARDROBE: Bobbie looks conservative today, better!

**************************

Luke: What do you think?
Roy: Halloween is in 6 weeks.

**************************

9/13/2000

Edward (To Alexis): Next time, keep your bad news to yourself. (and Edward is sooooo good at that right?)

Alan: Well at least one person in this family is making sense.
Monica: It certainly isn't you.
AJ: Aren't family reunions the greatest?

**************************
Monica (to Alan): You sound more like your father everyday.

**************************
Jason: You get me out of here, I'll do a better job than the cops.
AJ: You're on.

**************************

NOTE TO CAMERA-MAN: Awesome shot of Edward and Lila holding hands, with
Emily's picture in the background. I loved it!

**************************

9/12/2000

Carly: Excuse me . . . EXCUSE ME? Why is an innocent man cuffed to a
chair?

****************************

Dara (to Carly): You are creating a disturbance.

****************************

Carly:   . . . you think he kidnapped his own sister?!? Where's he keepin'
her Dara? In his pocket?
Alexis: Actually, Miss Benson has a good point.

****************************

Alexis: Well it's nice to see you too Dara. Maybe we can get my client
released while you're in an upbeat mood.

****************************

Carly: Would it kill you to say "Thank you?"
Jason: Thank you. Can I have a glass of water please?

****************************

Edward (to Ned): mmm . . . at the moment you're not the problem.

****************************

Alexis (to Dara): Did you mention to the Lieutenant that watching your
sister be kidnapped is NOT a criminal defense?

****************************

9/11/2000

GH BLONDE MOMENTS:

Mac: (You look) happier than I've seen you in a long time.
Flea: I am. Maybe its the weather. Huh-ya?

     **************************

Flea: I've done so much damage already. (and I'm just getting started)

     **************************

Chloe: I was dreaming . . . I think.

****************************************************

Juan: Everything is almost over . . .
(Can you hear the guillotine blade ?)

**************************

Carly: So? When is the big wedding?
Sonny: Sooner rather than later.
Carly: The priest isn't waiting in the hall is he?

**************************

Carly: But I do have one condition.
Sonny: Why am I not surprised?

**************************

Luke: I thought you left.
Roy: I changed my mind.
Luke: Why?
Roy: You're welcome.

**************************

Luke: I'm a little desperate ya know? Hanging out the side of a building
here.

**************************

Carly: You're impossible
Sonny: Well you're no day at the beach.

**************************

Carly: You promise to stop acting like I'm not here?
Sonny: Yes.
Carly: Will you admit that not everything I've done is a total disaster?
Sonny: Yes.
Carly: Will you let me do something about re-upholstering this couch?

**************************

Jason: This is the wrong night for a nuisance arrest.
Taggert: Cuff him.

**************************

Lucky: What police procedure justifies you arresting Jason?

**************************

Roy: You're an accountant right? You're dressed like an accountant. You
don't want to go out the window.
Luke: Sure I do. I'm depressed. My portfolio took a dive, and I'm after
it.

**************************

9/8/2000

Luke: So far, my instincts have kept me out of jail.
Roy: humph
Luke: No offense
Roy: None taken

***************************************

9/7/2000

Lucky: Jason's not the answer to everything!

***************************

Mac: So where are the girls?
Flea: I dropped them off at the barn

***************************

Sonny: Nobody's ever going to love Carly as much as she wants.

***************************

Alexis: I looked like a hooker.
Ned: And I'm to blame. It's all because of me.
Alexis: You think I looked like a hooker???
Ned: No-No, I mean the interview. It was my idea.
Alexis: Good one.
Ned: Maybe no one saw it.
L&B Phone: RING
     Alexis' Cell Phone: RING
               Ned's Cell Phone: RING

***************************

Ned: How do you sue the internet?
Alexis: I don't know. I'd have to call someone.

***************************

Ned: Oh, I got it. How about you join a convent?
Alexis: The day you become a priest.
Ned: You're right. Nobody'd believe it anyway.

***************************

Luke: I thought you were dyin', Roy
Roy: Yeah, that makes it reasonable.

***************************

Johnny: Your father's back
Sonny: So?

***************************

Roy (to Luke): You want the prize for best costume? Or do you want to get
out of Prague?

***************************

Chloe (to Stefan): For a person being imprisoned against his own will, you
are UNBELIEVABLY calm!

*********************

EDWARD LINES:
Edward (to Alan & Monica): You know, the only children that you are going
to have, are the children that you already DO have! So rather than trying
to get one by prescription, why don't you try cleaning up the mess at hand?

*********************

Edward (to Gia about L&B): That place is a den of iniquity! Run by my
reprobate grandson! It takes fine young minds ----Hello there Nikolas ----
it takes fine young minds, like this one (points at Nikolas), and diverts
them from their civic duties. It takes a ruthless attorney and turns her
into a joke. And it comes complete with the likes of Emily's deliquent
boyfriend!!

*********************

LUKE LINES:
Luke: Well excuse me! I left my good moustache and side burns in Indiana.

*********************

Luke: I've been asking the Saints (about Stefan), but they're a bunch of
tight-lipped statues!

*********************

Luke: Did the Bat's carcass wash up yet?

*********************

Luke: What about the dragon lady?
(Roy explains about the yacht keys being found)
Luke: Oh great, Man, What did I do, you know? Hide the keys next to the
poison? I'm telling you, If you had a videotape of the old lady whacking
her son, he'd say it was me in drag.

*********************

Roy: Vengeance is blind, and very patient. (you see! he CAN think
coherently when he isn't around Bobbie . . .)

*********************

NED LINES:
Ned (to Alexis): I have the tape! Here is the evidence right here!
Destroying the evidence (rips the film out of the videotape casing). . . No
problem honey . . . We're just going to let the interview speak for itself
. . . Destroyed! It's all good.

*********************

Ned: The only person who will see you in this teddy is me . . .

*********************

Emily (to Gia):   . . . No one DRAGGED you to your car! No one DRAGGED you
to the Field Crest motel so you could blackmail me! Nobody FORCED you to
make those phone calls --- which is a felony by the way . . .

*********************

AJ (to Hannah): Next time you feel compelled to call my family? Do me a
favor and leave me on the bar-room floor!

*********************

Katrina's Choices:

Alexis: Priscilla Presley was an astute businesswoman. Do you remember that, or do you remember her with big hair, short skirts, just standing next to Elvis?

Gia: Could you clarify something for me? Who exactly is dating who? Is lucky dating Emily or Elizabeth? And does Emily want Don Juan or Lucky? Where exactly do you fit into this?

Sonny: You weren't a kidnapper, and I'm not a drug smuggler. What was our first mutual mistake?

Jason: Hey, you know -- you know that thing about Lily? She didn't die because you married her. Lily's father killed her.

Carly: [to Elizabeth] Lucky's not enough for you, huh? That's sad. Guy came back from the dead. What more do you want?

Alexis: [to Mac] For the record, the taxpayers aren't my concern. Most of them probably can't afford me.

Carly: I would never sabotage him.
Jason: I believe you.
Carly: You always do.
Jason: No, just this time I do.

Taggert: Well, Luke’s stats aren't that unusual. I mean, they could fit any guy.
Mac: And how many of them are traveling as Argentinean cattle brokers? Taggert: Yeah, that's Luke Spencer.

***********************
Jason: Why don't you like the picture? You look good.
Alexis (with a strange glance): Thank you. (pause) I didn't pose for them
you know.
Jason (grins): You looked pretty "posed" to me.

************************

(after Alexis pitches her idea of Jason taking Carly out of the country)
Jason (sighs): That's why you're the best
Alexis: Stubborn to boot
Jason: Yeah that works too.

************************

Alexis (to Jason): . . . and quite frankly, you seem to be able to
tolerate Carly the most.

************************

Jason: I'll discuss this with Sonny & Carly
Alexis: Good
Jason: I'm glad you came to me
Alexis: And that makes you a majority of one, because Sonny will have a
cow!
Jason: Probably, but then he'll calm down and realize you were just doing
your job.
Alexis: It's nice to see you again Jason.
Jason: I enjoy seeing you too (grins)
Alexis (face falls into a frown): Don't get used to it, because my pin-up
days are numbered . . . I've gotta run. RUN being the operative word.

************************

Edward: Nobody is holding AJ's mouth to this bottle (slams a bottle of
vodka on the table)
Monica: It's true.

************************

Jason: First you kill Carly's & Sonny's baby, now you're working on
killing yourself?
AJ: I'm touched by your concern (sneers), but watch it, you're starting
to sound like a Quartermaine.

************************

Carly (to Sonny): What's left between us besides you beatin' a prison
term, huh? That's HARDLY the foundation for building a loving
relationship.

************************

(The Quartermaines are discussing AJ and rehab)
Monica: And how are you going to get him there? Cart him off in chains in
the middle of the night?!?
Edward: If necessary!

************************

GH BLOOPERS:
Carly (to Sonny as she walks into the Penthouse): I went over to the
Quartermaines to see Lila . . .

(later in the scene . . .)

Carly: AJ is the last person I wanted to see
Sonny: I take it you were there to see Lila? (DOH!)
Carly: Yeah, I like spending time with her (yada yada yada) . . .

************************

Nikolas (to Gia): Because you are a bald-faced liar and a scam artist
Gia: Thank you!

*******************************************

Nikolas (to Gia): That's a very effective (pause) negotiating tactic.
"Give me what I want or I'll eat out of the trash?"

*******************************************

Alexis: All right, I need to point something out here. You are on the
clock . . . over and above retainer.
Sonny: You have the face of an angel . . . (smiling at his joke)
Alexis: All right, that's it, my rate just went up 5% (angry)
Sonny (whisper): Eddie's Angel

*******************************************

Taggert (to Alexis): Nice Hat.

**********************************

Alexis - I should never have kissed you where everyone could see . . .
Ned - I'm glad you came here and I'm really glad you kissed me because no concert, is a concert, without my # 1 Groupie.
Alexis - Well, I'm not . . . I've sworn off "Groupie-Dom"
Ned - Oh Really? Does that mean that you can't go back to my dressing room and make out with me while we wait?
Alexis - Ok (shrug)

**********************************

Ned - Juan said everyone's almost ready to leave
Alexis - That's easy for Juan to say! He doesn't have to walk around in pigtails, not that-that's working. What's next a nun's habit?
Ned - Ooh, Kinky! I like it . . .

**********************************

Ned - You know it's not easy for me either. It's usually the Rock Star who gets all the fans screaming for autographs.

**********************************

Ned - I bust my butt out there singing for 2 hours and all anyone ever asks about, is my fiance.
Alexis - Are you jealous?
Ned - Maybe a little, you know what? Would you do me a favor? Would you give me your autograph, please just a little . . . Just sign my T-Shirt? (Alexis starts signing his back)
Ned - Oh WOW (groans in pleasure)
Alexis - I'd better not find this on the internet.

**********************************

Edward - Did you know that Carly feels that she and Jason are actually getting back together?
Monica - Over MY DEAD BODY! She's not going to ruin my other son.
(but I thought Jason wasn't your son, Monica?)

**********************************

Jason - Carly, is not Lily
Sonny - That's for sure

**********************************

SUBMITTED BY HEATHER:

Jason: I want you safe, Carly too. Who knows, you might like being married to her. It's got to be better than prison.

Sonny: Ok, so I got Carlos making a move in Puerto Rico, ahh...I got drug trafficking charges here, I got a, I got a lawyer with a bit of a credibility problem, my only way out is to marry someone that's in love with you. Sorrel's a monster and an idiot, the Feds and cops are also. And the Quartermaine's will use all of the above to take Michael away from Carly, and Michael starts pre-school in a couple of weeks. Anything else?

Jason: (shrugs) How's the coffee business?

Sonny: (nods) It's good to have you home, man.

*********************

Carly to Jason: So, you never told us what, um, what are you doing here?
Jason: It's business
Carly: What kind of business?
Sonny: None of yours Carly, you should know that by now, right?

*********************
Carly to Jason about traveling abroad: . . . People probably thought you
were mute, huh?
Sonny: That's never a problem for you, right Carly? [chuckles]

*********************

Alexis to Jason: . . . you look great! I haven't seen you in months!
Jason: I saw you the other night. You were hanging over some bar in your
underwear.
Alexis (under her breath): That's not funny.

*********************

Roy: I was talking to your Dad earlier . . .
Lucky (with bitterness): I'm not interested.
Roy: Lucky, I'm not him.

*********************

Alexis to Sonny: You need to find yourself another attorney.
Sonny: You gotta breathe . . . Remember?
Alexis: I'm being laughed right out of court, that is, when they're not
trying to look up my skirt. I can't DO this!
Sonny: No-No-No, you can
Alexis: You are a career criminal. It is hard enough to prove you are
innocent without the jury picturing me in my underwear.
Carly (in agreement with Alexis) to Sonny: You can't afford a lingerie
lawyer.

*********************

Jason: I think I'd be more comfortable in my own apartment.
Carly: You WOULD be, if Sonny hadn't rented it to your favorite Pin-Up
Girl.
Jason to Sonny: You rented the apartment to Alexis?
(Sonny nods.)
Alexis to Jason: Did she (Carly) just call me a Pin-Up Girl?

*********************

AJ: You're the only person I know in this town that I like.
Hannah: That could be a problem.

*********************

Stefan to himself: All good things come to those who wait . . . and plan.

*********************

Katrina's Choices:

ALEXIS: "Jason, I haven't seen you in ages!"
JASON: "I saw you the other night...you were hanging over a bar in your
underwear."

CARLY: (to Hannah when arrested) "Why is this bimbo asking me stupid questions?"

EDWARD: "You are both a disgrace. You know that?"
ALAN: "We're a disgrace? At least we want to have our children with each other."

STEFAN: "Well, that treatment will render her useless. I can't let that happen."

SONNY: "I don't think it's that complicated because I think you're very attractive."
ALEXIS: "I am not attractive. I'm an attorney."

NED: (to Edward after being summoned) "I don't see an ambulance out front. If I've flown up here from Philadelphia and there's not an emergency, I'm going to create one myself, and it's going to involve that phone and your throat."

WAITRESS: (To Mac regarding divorce) "You want to work it out.  You're still wearing your wedding band."

NED: "Why are you taking A.J.'s success so personally? I mean, even for you, this seems a little vindictive to want to ruin him. I mean, why don't you just hire someone to lock him in his closet?

ALAN:  (to Monica) "Well, you're obviously so hopped up on hormones, you're not thinking straight."


MAXIE:  (to Georgie about Mac custody of the day) "I know. I had Mac for lunch, and then you get him this afternoon.
Ahhh.  We should all have such a nice lunch!

A.J.: (walking into the Brownstone uninvited) "Hey. Nobody. The door was open."
BOBBIE: "Hmm. Well, don't let it hit you on the way out."

HANNAH: "Taggert risks his life every single day to keep this town safe for bored, rich dilettantes like you."
A.J.: "Ouch!"

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