Comments through August 8, 2003
(A few spoiler hints) 

Happily, I was able to apply my favorite word to this week.  An inconspicuous four-letter word, I aspire to reach its pinnacle sometimes successfully, sometimes not.  The word is CALM.  For me, calm usually means I successfully completed whatever tasks were necessary for that day, on time and with a smile.  CALM means I can go to bed pleasantly tired and pleased with my accomplishments.  It means I was able to watch GH with my full attention at some point during the day or evening and appreciate what I saw.  Usually, it means my sense of humor reigns and petty annoyances tend to fade into background music.  Aah.  Calm.   

This week two of my favorite scenes, surprisingly, were between Liz and Courtney.  Liz visited Sonnyís penthouse, which I thought was very brave since she hasnít been welcomed there in the recent past, first to find out about Ric and then to explain to Sonny why Ric shouldnít travel with him to South America.  In Sonnyís absence, Liz had conversations with Courtney during which she made no excuses for Ricís behavior and didnít try to justify his actions.  She clearly explained that she knew a side of Ric he didnít show to others that could love and which grieved for the baby they lost, just as Jason shows Courtney his tender thoughtful side.

I love a coherent conversation. 

Ric, meanwhile, has owned up to his actions and realized the depths to which he sank by kidnapping Carly and chaining her to a wall in order to steal her baby.  Like a person responsible for a fatal accident, heís trying to make amends.  But where does a person put those unrelenting feelings of guilt if there is no forgiveness?  Especially, when those around him keep calling him names like monster, freak, and animal, which grinds the guilt deeper.  I donít know.  Where do you put yourself, how do you escape yourself, when you canít live with yourself?  I can see why death would become a viable option.  If youíre Ric, you seek to end it all by stepping into a spray of bullets.  So I bet youíre wondering if I think Ric is redeemable.  Everyone is redeemable.  Do I think Carly, Sonny, Jason and Courtney should forget his actions and invite him into their little circle?  No way in this lifetime!  Carlyís fearful look and question, ďWhatís he doing here?Ē when Sonny, Jason and Ric found her at the clinic spoke volumes.  However, there is room on the canvas for Ricís mind swirls as he tries to overcome the evil he perpetrated and for him to work through his personal demons over many months, with gradual revelations of his background and Lizís eventual support.  Hey, theyíre my rose colored glasses and I can see and hope for whatever I want.  Do you think if I sent a pair to Mr. Guza, heíd look through them and write the stories my way?

Villain who found a conscience tries to die
doing a good deed.

Scotty supplied Faith with a briefcase of cash courtesy of the PCPD evidence room so she could purchase Alcazarís drugs.  The streets of Port Charles are safe from drugs, but I think the sting is on the police department as they shell out cash for drugs.  Itís not like Alcazar will be apprehended and prosecuted and by the way here are the two briefcases of cash Scotty secretly pilfered from the PCPD.    

Can you feel that limb shaking in the breeze Faith?  Attempting to seduce a teenager took you a step farther out on that branch for characters with a short life span.  I loved Faithís eye roll and line, ďI hate kids.Ē  Not to worry Dillon, Courtney, Sonnyís new impromptu business maven will save the day with the briefcase full of cash that she decided to handle on her own.  So much for babysitting Michael and staying out of The Bidness.  With one hand behind her back Ė oh wait, that would be one hand rubbing her stomach Ė Courtney laid out Faithís guard, resolved the missing briefcase problem, and saved Dillon and Georgie, before hopping on the plane to South America to pass along the information of Carlyís whereabouts in person instead of by telephone. 


Super C fells the bad guys and rushes in to save innocent teenagers. 

Courtney, Courtney, Courtney.  Where did we go wrong?  Sure I laughed at your weenie girl claim to toughness last year, but I didnít mean for you to throw yourself so far in the opposite direction that a warning label for violence should scroll across my screen whenever you have a scene with people other than Jason, Sonny or Carly.  Time to get a grip on those fists and feet, chick.  And to help you find the right track (somewhere between stalker victim and enforcer) no more Alias (youíre taking that Sydney girl way too serious), no G.I. Jane, and definitely no Charlieís Angels or Tomb Raider movies for you.   

OK, Iím done poking fun now and I have to say that Kung Fu Courtney antics aside, I was happy that Sonny and Carly finally connected and I like the set up for the upcoming Jason/Courtney tribulations.  I see anger, guilt, and many meaningful scene tags in their near future as Courtney deals with the guilt of miscarrying and not telling Jason while Jason in true manly fashion hasnít a clue whatís causing Courtneyís unhappiness.  Hopefully, Sonny and Carly will spend many happy hours reconnecting off screen.  I like them but I would appreciate a break from their constant presence.  Plus, I am truly tired of watching pasty-faced women rub their bellies. 


Sheís making me feel sick watching her be sick.  Enough! 

Bomb!  Run!  But did Sonny and Jason attempt to leave the vicinity?  No, Sonny took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment while Jason steadily looked at Sonny and prepared to die.  Then, when Alcazarís fake yacht bomb didnít explode do they leave?  No!  They discuss whether the detonatorís faulty and where could Carly be now.  Duh, guys!  You donít know for sure itís a fake bomb and it could still explode.  Get off the boat! 


Let us gaze into each otherís eyes as the seconds tick by.

A love like ours happens once in a lifetime. 

I am glad that Lorenzo showed his human side to Carly and Iím happy that heís developed a crush on Ms. Corinthos.  Sonny could use a swift kick in the ego when it comes to his woman.  Let the games begin, as a smitten Mr. Alcazar doesnít actually give up the idea of having Ms. Carly for himself.


I enjoyed the scenes of Carly shaving Alcazar

and Lorenzo changing clothes.

Black was the theme clothing color for Thursday and Friday. 

How many times has Dr. Cam dumped Alexis?  Too many to count but it didnít stop him from interceding on Alexisí behalf to Ned at the Breast Cancer Walk or keep him from encouraging Alexisí to give up her plan to ruin Ned.  Stefan replied to Alexis when she quietly suggested that Ned might be backing down regarding her place in Kristinaís life, ďItís too late now.Ē  Why?  It was just a slap and an accusation.  As easily as he paid her to play Eddy Maine rape victim, he could pay her to go away.  That was my reaction until I heard Skye cooing to Kristina, ďCan you say mama?  Mama?  Mama?Ē in earshot of Alexis.  Then I thought, ďGet her, Alexis!Ē

Can we say Skyeís cruelty may come back and bite her on the butt?

Can we say Nedís oblivious insensitivity to Skyeís baby stealing vindictiveness

Makes him the resident Moron Quartermaine? 

Skye and Stefan could make a great couple.  Skye possesses many similar qualities to Catherine Bell and I think sheíd be a fair match for Stefanís plotting as long as she avoids the parapets at Wyndemere.  Nicholas could alternate between fighting and scheming while Lydia and Skye could throw clever barbs. 

Itís a week old but I still find it funny whenever I think about Lydia running happily back and forth from the desk to the drink bar when she faked her suicide attempt.  If sheíd known what an abysmal wedding night she was going to experience, she might have sucked down a few more pills. 


I know itís a week old, but itís still funny.

Oh, happy, happy, joy, joy Ė Iím faking suicide. 

In what world does Lucky live where itís acceptable behavior to walk into his brotherís brideís room and begin kissing her on her wedding night?  Remember Nicholas, Lucky?  The brother you supposedly love and want to save from a loveless marriage?  That was bad enough but Stefan also feels free to walk into other peopleís bedrooms.  Lydia, for all her bad press, was the only sane character in that bunch of sour grapes running around on Spoon Island.  Her bribery attempt to Emily made me laugh.  Admirable?  No.  Ridiculous?  Yes.  Honest?  Yes.  I donít think sheís being unreasonable to not want to wait five years to produce an heir.  Why would she want to wait around for Nicholas to deign to submit to his husbandly duties?  Pfft! to him.  Sheís been upfront all along.  Moneyís her motive and sheíll do whatís necessary to have what she wants including marrying and bedding Nicholas and putting up with Stefan.  I have nothing against the actress, she plays perky well, but calculating doesnít come across my screen.  Hopefully, sheíll work on that.  The character certainly has caught my attention as a stumbling block to various couples.  Except Lucky who needs to go to cop school, go find Luke, go on vacation, go somewhere, and not return until he has a reason for showing up on my screen.  Panting after Lydia, his brotherís wife, isnít a storyline Iíll watch.


So let me guess.  It wouldnít matter if Lydia and Nicholas

WERE going hot and heavy consummating their marriage,

Lucky and Stefan feel free to walk into the bedroom to check out the action. 

Should I or should I not address Maxieís stupidity?  Yep, itís beyond stupid of Maxie and Kyle to sit in a public park taking drugs and drinking.  Every person who drinks or takes drugs experiences a first decision making time when they decide for whatever reason to just say yes instead of no.  To this day, Iíd pay serious money to learn who first offered my oldest son a drink or drugs.  We struggled through several terrible teenage years with him.  And then Iíd probably get in big trouble while I figured out how to teach that person an unpleasant lesson he wouldnít forget.  Not that it would be the right thing to do or that it would help in any way, but my point is that thereís always a first time and a person who is willing to take another over the edge into a world of drinking, drugs, and parties is lower than sewer sludge.  In my book, while Maxieís pretty darn stupid, Kyle should be hung up by his toes and his fingernails pulled out for encouraging inexperienced Maxie into that world.  Ultimately, in a real world, Maxie would be forced to take responsibility for her actions whether itís harm to her body, painful life changing experiences or even death.  As you can probably tell, I don't deal with this subject gracefully or with humor so Iím leaving it alone now. 

Dumb and Dumber 

Let me point out the obvious.  Nurses who leave controlled substances unattended on a cart in a hospital hallway, wonít be nurses for very long.  Iíve never met a nurse willing to throw away years of training for a beep on a pager, much less leave a cart of drugs unattended for hours because it was still sitting there when Dillon tried to return the bottle of Hydrocodone.


Whoís supposed to be controlling these substances anyway? 

I find it funny that Dillon through years of watching old movies but no actual practice, learned pick pocketing skills, which implies coordination, but heís unable to navigate Georgieís windowsill. 

Way to go, Mac!  Good for you for bringing up Robin, her choices, and the consequences of unprotected sex.  Good conversation between Mac and Georgie.

At least Macís visible as a parent
and trying to be responsible.

Emily needs to stick with tragic tearful lovelorn girl and leave outraged alone.  When Lydia approached her at the park regarding a larger donation in exchange for Emilyís support for Lydia, Nicholas and sex, Lydia was ridiculous but honest.  While Emily tried for outraged but only managed a few head nods and an arm cross.  Stick with the tears and the ďIím so sorriesĒ Em, or go ask Carly for lessons in how to be angry and on the offensive.

Emilyís multi-purpose expression.

Emily expresses outrage.

Emily shows concern.

Emily worries.

Emily prepares to cry. 

How nice that A.J. and his chin of many colors made a brief appearance at the Breast Cancer Walk.

Weird beard 

Thatís Stefan for ya.  First, he plots to kill Em, and then he shows up ostensibly to support the breast cancer cause and Emily indirectly. 

Jax can stay on vacation indefinitely.  Iím not missing him.  Luke needs to hurry back, hopefully refreshed with a bit of a sense of humor peeking out. 

School begins next week so I have to find my watch again.  Watches and cell phones represent love/hate issues in my daily existence.  When my daughter was born and I became a stay at home mom I vowed to avoid nylons and watches because they represented my major resentments in the working world Ė dressing to please others and deadlines.  Happily walking to my own beat, I lived life for quite a while unaware that my casual attitude towards time was driving my husband crazy.  He lives in a self-imposed ON TIME existence and thinks itís imperative to arrive 10 to 15 minutes early wherever we are going.  10 to 15 minutes early horrifies me unless I have a book to read or a project to work on.  Who wants to sit around looking at office walls or reading old magazines when there are so many other interesting things I could be doing?  To help me with my little problem, he bought me a beautiful watch for Christmas several years ago.  Of course, I had to wear it.  And gradually, gradually, I found myself becoming more time responsible.  OK, battle won with occasional defiant skirmishes on weekends, and I still do not feel it necessary to leave a half an hour early to reach a place 10 minutes away.

This is so not me anymore.  

Next came the cell phone.  He thought I should have one, I thought not.  No one, except maybe the President, needs to be accessible 24/7.  Arguing that since heís out of town during the week, he needed a way to reach me when I wasnít home, which tends to be a lot despite my ongoing, uphill battle to spend more time in my house.  Reluctantly, I agreed and gradually, gradually, I learned to responsibly charge the battery and carry the darn thing.  So now, to my disgust I walk around with a watch and a cell phone completely hooked on both.  Mainly the cell phone because it offers the wonder of free long distance which I use with gusto! 

ďHello?  Carolyn?  Did you seeÖĒ 

This summer has been a miracle of time for me as Iíve been able to stay at home quite a bit.  I took off my watch for weeks at a time and didnít miss it.  And donít ask me how but I always seem to be aware when 2 p.m. is rolling around and itís GH time.  I canít tell you how much fun Iíve had calling Carolyn (long distance on my cell phone) while watching to discuss trivial, insignificant details and plot twists of the dayís episode.  I am truly going to miss watching GH in real time when real life rolls over me next week as school begins.  Bus drivers are not allowed to be casual about time so I have learned to stress minutes.  Kindergarteners and first graders falling asleep and/or crying after long first days of school; stressed parents not ready for the new schedule running out to hand their children lunch money or breakfast in a napkin; panic stricken children forgetting books; unsure 6th graders adjusting to the freedoms and responsibilities of junior high; high spirited 8th graders ruling over the younger kids Ė and the bus keeps on rolling, hopefully on time.  Now whereíd I put that watch again?Ö.

Wanna know what I love?  I love when itís been so hot that the sidewalk and street reach out and grab me the moment I step outdoors like they are a living part of the sun and the hot air I suck into my lungs raises my temperature from the inside out.  Then, sometime around 7 p.m., the sun gradually sinks and a little breeze comes out of nowhere and swirls around bare skin and hints at cooler temps.  It doesnít really cool me off, but I stand there, still, waiting, hoping to feel the hint of coolness again.  And pretty soon, as though the air is a drug, Iím mellow and looking around thinking how much I appreciate the last days of summer when kids are running and yelling in the street, when hide and seek involves all ages from toddler to adult and several yards, and the scent of BBQ floats on the air.  I hope you enjoy the last precious days of summer.  Have a great week everyone.  Thanks for stopping by.

As always, my thanks to Terry who works so hard on her screen caps site. 

For those of you who kindly offered congratulations and/or asked about my anniversary celebration I leave you with the following words to a song sung by Randy Travis several years ago.  We included this song with several others that held significance for us on a CD, which played throughout the afternoon.  Tears were shed, smiles exchanged and our vows went something like this only with prayer and traditional words of commitment included:



You may think that Iím talking foolish

Youíve heard that Iím wild and Iím free

You may wonder how

I can promise you now

This love that I feel for you

Always will be 

Youíre not just time that Iím killing

Iím no longer one of those guys

As sure as I live

This love that I give

Is gonna be yours until the day that I die

(Oh, baby) 


Iím gonna love you forever

Forever and ever, Amen

As long as old men sit and talk about the weather

As long as old women sit and talk about old men

If you wonder how long Iíll be faithful

Iíll be happy to tell you again

Iím gonna love you forever and ever

Forever and ever, Amen 

They say time takes its toll on a body

Makes a young girlís brown hair turn gray

Well honey I donít care

I ainít in love with your hair

And if it all fell out

Iíd love you anyway

Well they say time can play tricks on a memory

Make people forget things they knew

Well itís easy to see

Itís happening to me

Iíve already forgotten every woman but you

(Oh, darliní) 


Iím gonna love you forever

Forever and ever, Amen

As long as old men sit and talk about the weather

As long as old women sit and talk about old men

If you wonder how long Iíll be faithful

Just listen to how this song ends

Iím gonna love you forever and ever

Forever and ever, Amen 

Yes, Iím gonna love you

Forever and ever

Ever and ever

Forever and ever

Forever and ever, Amen 

Forever and ever, with a cherry on top!

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