Comments through Friday, March 12, 2004 
(OK spoilers, but nothing I’d trade a bowl of ice cream for.)

It’s 11:56 p.m. on Sunday night and these are the first words I’ve typed for my weekly therapeutic vent.  I’d like to list the time grabbing reasons why I haven’t worked on a column but the truth is that I just spent the last 2-1/2 hours watching Jason and Robin break up for the first time.  It began innocently.  The dirty kitchen was calling my name so I grabbed an old tape because I was in the mood for easy and safe and didn’t feel like perusing the TV guide or flipping through channels.  Truthfully, I finished cleaning the kitchen in about 20 minutes and spent the next 2 hours and 10 minutes watching for the heck of it.  I am such a sucker for romance and they had it in spades.  No matter how it was destroyed later, Jason and Robin brought GH alive for me and the little nuances of their on screen affair suck me in when I’m in the mood for old GH.  That being said, I am feeling rather reflective about storylines currently playing in front of me.

Sigh.  I love a good romance. 

On Tuesday, for the first time, the custody hearing caught my interest.  Until Carly took the stand determined to reveal Sonny’s breakdowns their dialogue consisted of he said, he did, she said, she did, with some wa-wa-wa’s thrown in.  I didn’t care.  Neither parent was working for the best interests of the children they supposedly were fighting so hard to protect from the other.  However, on Tuesday I saw some superb acting.  Carly used her anger at Jason to propel her onto the witness stand determined to destroy the man she’s obsessively loved for several years.  Sonny braced himself for public humiliation and gut twisting trust busting.  Alexis, her personal agenda clearly driving her to win custody for Carly at all costs, was unable to navigate the twists of Carly’s mind as she stepped back from the brink of destroying Sonny.  The dialogue was good, but the expressions were better.  Sonny looked like a little boy receiving a reprieve from a beating, Jason almost smiled in relief at Carly’s decision to protect Sonny, Carly’s eyes softened in spite of herself as she gazed at Sonny, Lorenzo stifled his disappointed expression at Carly’s inability to hurt Sonny, while Alexis, usually astute, plowed forward trying valiantly to win in spite of Carly’s sabotage.  One scene and suddenly, I could buy into the hearing.


Sonny scared.                      Jason astounded.                     Carly tender.


Lorenzo disappointed.             Alexis determined. 

Picture a piece of fine crystal falling to the ground in slow motion with no sound and the chards of glass flying in all directions.  That was Alexis destroying Sonny’s trust in her by using what two friends said in confidence as a weapon.  You’d think Alexis would be the bad guy in the scene but then I remembered that she believes if she doesn’t win custody for Carly, she loses her baby.  She’s fighting like a mama lion with every tool at her disposal to protect her baby.  Her saving grace came in her acute discomfort at what she was doing.  Her expressions, the casting of her eyes anywhere but at Sonny all screamed that she didn’t want to go where she felt forced to.  Topping off her impossible situation was Carly stopping her at every turn from winning.  Alexis receives credit for a rockin’, from-the-heart closing argument.  Not that Carly appreciated her efforts.  “I did my part and you undercut me at every turn.  Win or lose, drop dead.”  Alexis informed Carly.  It would have been an excellent parting shot if she could have made it stick.


This is what trust breaking looks like. 

Alexis?  It’s not nice to pick on little girls.  Even little girls with records for prostitution.  I felt sorry for Sam on the stand having her ugly past exposed.

Sam/Livvie might have been a psycho vamp on Port Charles,

But GH will wipe the floor with her if she doesn’t toughen up. 

If all the judge needed was a five minute private interview with Carly and Sonny to make his decision, why the heck did we have to go through the trauma of the custody hearing?


“My fee for wasting the court’s time will be $87,539 payable in $1 unmarked bills.” 

Michael was endearing in his summons to Sam to the penthouse to “fix” things between Sonny and Carly and his dismissal to Max.  “Thank you, Max.  That will be all.”  I fully expected him to offer Sam a cup of coffee as he took care of business.

“So what do you do for a living?” Michael interviews Sam. 

I know the legions of vociferous Carly/Lorenzo fans are going to protest but I loved when Sonny invited Carly to come to the penthouse to see her sons.  I know, I know, Sonny’s an arrogant jerk and Carly shouldn’t have to scrape for crumbs with her children.  What I liked about the scene was Lorenzo’s sour grapes.   In my opinion, Lorenzo is as dysfunctional as Sonny but in different ways.  He stalked Carly and trashed her marriage because he wanted her.  Talk about your selfish obsession!  At every opportunity he inserted himself in Carly and Sonny’s space to cause a disturbance between them.  Sonny handed Lorenzo’s behavior back to him by walking across the corridor and swiping Carly out from Lorenzo’s suddenly oh-so-noble-good-guy nose.  So there, Mr. Wife-Stealing Alcazar!

Sorry, Lorenzo.  Sonny called.  Gotta go. 

 “No problem.  Are you OK?”  That’s all it took and the lady’s dreams came true as Sonny bumped into her in the hall of the courthouse.  I guess it pays to write to Oprah because occasionally she shakes her wishing tree and makes the impossible dreams of regular folk come to life.  Hair, make up, wardrobe and a line in a scene with Maurice Benard and she has memories that will last a lifetime.  How cool for her! 

Dear Oprah… 

Hmm, Jason as matchmaker.  I can buy into it.  Maybe it’ll kick him in the psyche and make him think that perhaps he should try fighting for Courtney and his marriage instead of blindly accepting what the people he loves (Courtney) dish out.  Spoilers say that’s on the storyline agenda and I can’t wait. 

Look, I told you guys a 100 times, I’m really the boss.

We just let Sonny think he is so he’ll get all the bombs and death threats. 

Don’t sign, Jason!  Don’t sign!  But he did like I knew he would because Emily asked.  Pfft!  It’s not out of character for him to rescue women, but how come Jason couldn’t make Ric sign a statement regarding Zander’s death too?  That way it could sort of be a mutual blackmail.  If you tell I perjured, I’ll expose your coercion to save your wife.  How come no one ever holds info over Ric’s head?  He’s slime, it’s not like there isn’t ample material to use against him.  Oh, I know why!  Because no one cares about Ric, except Liz.  Really, is there a fan out there who feels empathy for Ric?  Not lust ‘cause he looks good, but empathy for his character?  If so, please e-mail and explain it to me.


Wouldn’t it be funny if Ric tried to blackmail him later only to discover that Jason

signed a different name? 

I noticed that since Sonny’s tied up in court, Jason had to take over business and interact with almost every woman on the show.  Jason and all his women…


Love pats, hugs, and deep discussions.  He covered all the emotional bases. 

“Yo, Mo, we’re hungry.” 

Alexis scolds Jason, “I can’t believe you let Carly wear that ugly dress to court.” 

Jason informs Carly, “I would have said you should have custody

But then you wore that white belt.”

“I’m sorry wardrobe made you wear that dress for five taping days,” Jason comforts Carly. 

Raise your hand if you cracked up over Skye in a red dress with a southern accent?  I like her so much better in her adventures with Luke than borderline self destructive Jax sycophant.  It doesn’t matter that the scenes are silly, when Luke and Skye are on, funny, serious or emotional, I’m at full attention waiting to be entertained and I haven’t been disappointed yet!

“I like the red dress, but the heels and southern accent are killin’ me.” 

Sherry Mercurio wrote an excellent column about the entitlement of the Scooby crew.  It made me want to shake my fist and yell, “Yeah, who do they think they are?”  Who DO they think they are?  Why are they more special than Zander?  I guess the argument could be made that since Zander’s dead, the truth regarding his death (or lack of) doesn’t matter.  After all, he’s dead, his family is dead, what could it hurt to cover up the fact that Liz bashed him on the head?  To give Liz a little credit she tried to stand up and take responsibility but she kinda got bulldozed by Ric, Emily, Nikolas and Lucky in their efforts to protect her.  Right and wrong matter, and wrong eats away at a person’s insides while truth sets you free.  In real life we know this, so while the cover up is explainable, it doesn’t make it acceptable no matter how noble the motives. 

We are the “in” crowd.

Just ask us, we’ll tell you who matters most. 

Good thing Em and Niko playacted wedding complete with vows because I’m betting that’s as close to wedded bliss as they’re gonna get.  In the beginning of Emily and Nikolas when Emily was fighting cancer, I was torn between wanting Emily and Zander to find happiness and the romance between Emily and Niko.  Somewhere between pirate fantasies, treasure seeking, and Nikolas constantly in handcuffs, I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling.  They used to be fluffy but now they’re flat and I’m not sure why. 

Off the top of my head I remember Liz and Lucky, Jason and Courtney,

And Luke and Laura all performing the same scene. 

What purpose did it serve for Zander to make Mac a John Doe at Mercy Hospital? 


I knew Zander was insane when he sent Mac to another hospital for no reason. 

“Well, it’s about time!” I thought when Dillon dumped Sage for the 43rd time.  If he had bought that Tom thought up the tickets idea on his own, I would have had serious concerns regarding his smarts. 

Oops.  I knew I shouldn’t have swallowed that Coke so fast. 

Ned and Tracey in cahoots against Edward still reside in the wait and see category for me.  Edward is manipulative, cruel, and self serving no doubt about it, but he loves his family.  Tracey and Ned, I’m not so sure about.  However, Q’s on my screen mixed with some Luke and Skye makes for a very good GH day!


Vote quick before the fur flies. 

Give the Dog a Bone wasn’t the raging success I thought it would be.  I only received a couple responses.  However, I had a good time doing it so I’ll continue.  The motto at EOS per Katrina is “If it’s not fun, it doesn’t get done.”  Since I had a good time coloring out of the lines with characters, I am going to put it out there for another week.  You probably think I write this column to entertain you, but sometimes, I just entertain myself. 

Skye:   Discovers she’s a musical genius who can sit at a piano and play tunes by ear.

                        Skye learns she can have kids after all and has quadruplets. Talk about hitting the bottle.

                        Hooked on Red Bull. 

Luke:   Develops Dr. Doolittle type ESP with animals.

                        Luke becomes allergic to hair piece glue and has to shave his head

                        Likes to paint fruit bowls.

Dillon:  Experiments with the Goth look.

Finds himself violently allergic to chlorine.

Begins to act like a teenager and spends some time in school

Films people on the sly in hopes of starting his own Reality series.

Georgie:  Starts a wind chime collection and spends her spare time chasing chimes.

Begins to act like a teenager and spends some time in school

Has a mommy doesn't love me complex. 

Maxie:  Joins a team of youth from her high school that talks to other kids about the life

threatening pitfalls of illegal drug use.

Begins to act like a teenager and spends some time in school

Has a voodoo doll of her mother in a drawer.

Sage:   Takes up water ballet.  Becomes obsessed with her lucky feather.

Begins to act like a teenager and spends some time in school

Allergic to hair styling products.

Tracey:  Develops a nervous tic that looks like she’s winking.  Every time she threatens

someone they think she’s kidding.

Tracey has a vision of what her life would have been like if she had been a real mother.

Calls the psychic hotline constantly for advice.

Courtney:  Begins losing hair and must face the trauma of early balding.

Becomes obsessed with Dr. Phil.

Courtney becomes allergic to her breast implants and has to have them removed.

As a result the writers lose interest in her character and she goes to the backburner.

Kick boxes into the wee hours.  (Develops a crush on Billy Blanks

the head Tae-Bo guy.)

Alexis: Decides to introduce Kristina to the great outdoors by camping.

Wants to get a tattoo.

Alexis actually gets a SL that is worthy of her character and the talented actress who

plays her. She stops being the whipping post for every other character at GH and her

fans finally get a warm fussy from the writers.

Likes to wear men's underwear. 

Sonny: Becomes enthralled with yo-yo tricks by Tommy Smothers.

                        Sonny is converted and becomes a preacher.

                        Likes to wear women's underwear. 

Here’s the next batch.  Carry on.  Cut, paste, send me your wacky thoughts.  I know you have them because you tell me in your e-mails.  C’mon, let’s give ‘em color. 


                        Picks out the women's underwear Sonny wears.









Spoilers showed up this week but none really struck me funny.  You know I had to give it the ol’ comment worthy try. 

After Sam is stabbed, Sonny assigns Jason to be Sam's bodyguard, and arranges for her medical care.  (GHH2)

This really didn’t work out well for Sonny the last time he assigned Jason to act as bodyguard for a woman.  As I recall, he fell in love and married her. 

Nikolas throws Helena out of Wyndemere.  (GHH2)


Sonny buys Sam clothes.  (GHH2)

Well that should be easy.  He can call a store, ask for one of each in size 0 in black and she’s set. 

Michael takes money from Courtney's purse.  (GHFF)

Because Starr from OLTL called him and gave him instructions on how to garner air time and keep the adults jumping. 

Every time the Zyrtec commercial airs, I feel for Baxter the Boston Terrier.  I have no clue about the commercial’s message, but I love Baxter’s disgusted, I-can’t-believe-I’m-stuck-on-a-leash-with-this-woman head turn at his owner’s constant coughing and sniffling.  It’s the little things that crack me up. 

And donning a different hat (it’s purple with a feather in the hatband) I offer you my reporter’s eye on the soapy guy (or gal as the case may be). 

On SoapTalk this week I caught Natalia Livingston, Kimberly McCullough and Jackie Zeman.  They all offered some interesting bits and pieces regarding themselves and their GH characters. 

Natalia Livingston

-         Natalia’s boyfriend is room mates with Nick from “The Apprentice” but she didn’t have any secrets to divulge about the show.

-         Tyler Christopher is a wonderful, great, professional to work with.  She and Tyler get teased on the show because no matter what the scene, they are making out.

-         When Natalia was young, her mom put a bowl on her head and cut her hair.  Her mom didn’t remember doing it and called her after that piece of info was published in a soap mag. 

-         She’s from Macon, Georgia and always thought about being an actress.

-         After college she went into social work and worked with babies in intensive care for a year and a half. 

Kimberly McCullough

-         She will be appearing in a new sitcom called “The Stones” this spring.

-         Comedy is a new venue for her and she’s never worked in front of an audience before.

-         She started on GH when she was 7.

-         Her audition for GH consisted of improv - persuading Tristan Rogers to eat.  Plus she had flippers in her mouth.  (Fake teeth for children)

-         Her story with Stone on GH was the first time a heterosexual couple dealt with AIDS.

-         She was only 17 when she was doing her storyline with Stone and learning that Robin was HIV positive.

-         She cried for a year and a half.

-         Her first role was a diaper commercial at 7 months.

-         KM was in “Breakin’ II, Electric Boogaloo” 

Jackie Zeman

-         She’s been on GH for 27 years, and appeared in over 4,000 episodes.

-         She was the first guest on SoapTalk.

-         Working on OLTL, she was hired on GH and she had to be in California overnight.

-         She designs jewelry for QVC.

-         She “has a passion for travel.”

-         Cooking is another of Jackie Zeman’s favorite activities.

-         Before acting, she was a premed student and she put herself through college as a Playboy Bunny.

-         A runner, Jackie runs every day and loves to eat. 

The next day, Amber Tamblyn showed up on Wayne Brady.   She’s so…grown, mature, healthy looking, gorgeous.  Her love of the work she’s doing on “Joan of Arcadia” came through as well as how blessed she feels to work with other cast members.  Sharing a work story, she related how her father appeared as a guest on the show playing one of God’s spots and she had a hard time saying her lines and not calling him Dad.  An admirer of Hillary Clinton, Amber was thrilled to meet her because Ms. Clinton is a friend of Mary Steenburgen.  Regarding her website, Amber talked about how she tries to be real with her young fans refusing to promote the myth that if you come to Hollywood following your dreams, you’ll make it.  She attempts to help them understand that “making it” as an actor requires an incredible amount of work, dedication and time.  Last summer Amber spent her time touring as a dancer in a Neil Young production and may do a week on the road again this summer. 

Last week I had a day of looking my best and this week I was humbled.  Not that I was walking around thinkin’ I was all that.  But if I had been?  Well, let me say that the bubble was burst.  On Thursday I wore dark green jeans with a black t-shirt.  No big deal.  Arriving home after my afternoon bus route I was in the bathroom and happened to look behind me.  For whatever reason my eyes glanced down and I caught a glimpse of something white on the pocket of my jeans.  “What?” I wondered.  Touching the white blotch, I found it hard and caked on, obviously there for quite some time.  Grabbing a wash cloth I began wiping what turned out to be a blotch of dried toothpaste sitting smack in the middle of my right butt cheek.  Talk about embarrassed.  And then talk about my friends which I must not have cause if they were my friends they would have mentioned, “Ahh, Kathy, you have toothpaste on your butt.”   But no one mentioned it.  To be fair, I tend to zip through the bus barn and go directly to my bus where I am sitting 90% of the time.  So thinking the good thought, maybe, really, no one noticed.  Or maybe they were having a heck of a laugh.  Be that as it may - color me humble.   

I wish for you beautiful sunsets, hints of spring, and no toothpaste on your behind.  As always, thank you for visiting Eye On Soaps.  Thanks for reading. 

Screen caps make the world go ‘round! 

APersonal Note:  A few days ago I saw “The Passion of Christ”, the most affecting and effective movie I’ve ever experienced.  Not one to preach, I have only a couple words to share about the movie in this forum.  If you’re a Christian and you haven’t seen it, go.  It will move you and change you.  If you’re not a Christian, go.  It will move you and change you.  Do not take young children as the movie is graphic. 

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