Comments through Friday, March 7, 2004
Well what are we going to do now? I found myself wondering as the first week of March swept in. The fire has burned out. Some storyline situations changed but characters remained the same. No more pirate fantasies. The treasure has been locatedÖsorta. Sam has lost her purpose for arriving on the canvas. SkippyÖerr, I mean Courtney saved Skippy earning $10 mil and the waterfront for her heroics. What will keep us busy and boards humming until May sweeps? (May sweeps never strike me as intense as February sweeps.) So far, we have the custody battle for Michael and Morgan, Zanderís grab Emily and his unborn child plot, and Alexisí not so secret paternity cover up to draw us in. I kinda enjoy it this way, like anything can happen and weíre on the edge of our seats waiting to see which way the wind blows.
Michael made the leap this week from kid on a soap to official soapy character. He already has eavesdropping down, a necessary skill for soap characters. Now heís earned his merit badge for following and conversation. Oh, and lying, heís also perfected the oh so critical bald face lie technique at which a soap character must excel. Lying to Leticia (Iím beginning to wonder about her qualifications since Michael lies to her regularly and she never catches him) Michael left Kellyís to follow Sam to her boat. We donít know why, maybe for follow-another-character practice. He hid behind a door and eavesdropped as Lorenzo tried to strike a bargain with Sam to make Sonny look bad for the custody hearing. Changing his focus, Michael then followed Lorenzo down to the docks where he uttered the most overused line on soaps, ďWe have to talk.Ē (Insert music and end of scene tag.) Hearing those works come from his 9-year-old mouth with his serious little face cracked me up. Whatever comes next on Monday wonít be as entertaining as that one line.
Lying, eavesdropping, stalking and serious conversation
Mikeyís hit the big time.
I am trying really hard to think of something to write about Sonny, Carly and the custody hearing but I got nothiní. Letís seeÖIím thankful that Judge Farmer isnít presiding. Michael did a good kid thing understanding that choosing one parent over another would hurt the other so he found an alternative in Jason. Courtney stood strong in her belief that Sonny and Carly should share custody. Sonny and Carly yapped all week repeating the same lines over and over, and refused to compromise. Iím not thinking good thoughts about either of them and letís leave it at that.
Whatís up with the white belt?
Iím admitting my involvement and I want some company! When Courtney threw Faith to the floor for insulting her nephews I thought, ďOh my, Courtney must be tired of merely slapping and sheís moved on to throwing Faith to the ground.Ē But then Faith, apparently fed up with being manhandled, pulled a gun out of her purse and fired at Courtney. I jumped and screamed, ďAll right, who gave Faith a gun?!Ē My children ran into the room to see what was going on and my husband kinda rolled his eyes and said, ďGHĒ. They think Iíve lost my marbles and told me so. I plan to point out the ridiculousness of their screaming refereeing during the next basketball game my husband and son watch on TV.
Charlieís Angels have nothiní on Courtney and Faith.
If Sam would take her floating boudoir out on the water and try some salvage work she might have something more worthwhile to do than stand across a crowded courthouse corridor gazing longingly at Sonny.
Iím so independent Sonny that I can stand across
the hall from you all by myself.
For clarification, at Kellyís Mike handed Sam a brown paper bag, assumably her take out order so it couldnít have been a pregnancy test she was checking out in the bag.
Darn it! I hate when they forget the ketchup!
Theyíre calling him Edward and he answers to Edward. His lines sound like Edwardís. But thatís not Edward in Skyeís pink robe. I have to give Mr. Allen some time and itís not that I donít like him. Heís just not the Edward I know and I am having a difficult time making the necessary recast adjustments in my mind. This Edward strikes me funny, but perhaps itís because heís in the same room as Luke and Skye. Each scene with Edward this week had a sitcom vibe instead of a soapy feel. Maybe itís the pink robe thatís throwing me off.
Does this robe go with this t-shirt?
Do you have any stockings I could wear?
Hackles rose, fur stood up, and claws were bared but it boiled down to some huffing and puffing. Emily and Liz faced off but didnít solve the mystery of who killed not really dead Zander. Both of them presented good points but neither heard the other as they hissed and spat. Nikolas could have accidentally killed Zander. Ric had motive and means and heís proven that his moral fiber is mush. Plus, he totally faked Liz last year so doubting him should come a little easier. But alas, no. Liz confessed that she fatally bashed in Zanderís head so we know that right and wrong will fly out the window as Ric protects Liz at all costs.
Hereís the real mystery. Zander is lying in Macís bed. Mac is lying somewhere, not dead, and who knows, maybe not even burned. Scotty took a Caribbean hike. So who is the unrecognizable dead guy found in the basement with a dent in his head? Since Zander is alive and plotting, Iím guessing the dead guy is the cop that went down the stairs with Mac and was never seen again. Which means Zander must have found him in the fire, dragged him into the electric room and bashed him on the head. Making not-murdered Zander a murderer or a desperate guy willing to hit a recently killed-by-explosion cop in a fire that apparently is no oneís fault. And please, no more DNA testing at General Hospital. The lab is obviously run by Disneyís Mickey Mouse Club.
Zander fell with a dent in his head,
But have no fear heís not dead.
Bandaged in a hospital bed he lies,
Using Mac as his disguise.
My jaw dropped in disbelief when Tracey told Sage to seduce her son and get pregnant. For the first time Sage showed an inkling of sense when she emphatically replied no way. I know Tracey amended her plan implying that Sage was dense and of course she meant fake pregnancy to draw Dillon away from Georgie, but thatís not how it came out at first. I think Tracey horrifies me more than Faith. Faith is upfront and in your face with her cruelty but Tracey, like Helena, mixes in moments of caring which emphasizes how twisted her thinking is.
Imagine yourself waddling across the room carrying Dillonís baby.
I liked Feliciaís re-entry. She didnít come across all lovey-dovey, but quietly understanding and supportive. Maxie summed it up when she asked Felicia not to make any promises she couldnít keep. It seemed appropriate that she came back to support Maxie and Georgie in a storyline and didnít immediately have an emotional, cry scene at Macís bedside. Sheís lost her good parenting points in her year long absence so I canít be expected to immediately jump on her bandwagon. Hopefully, weíll see good friction scenes as Felicia tries to fit into the mom role with Maxie and Georgie who have been raising themselves for over a year.
Georgie meets her new mom because Feliciaís
been gone since she hit puberty in P.C. time.
Do Emily and Nikolas have a storyline? Oh yeah, I remember in the same conversation they repeated all week Nikolas stated he didnít kill Zander. Kiss, moan, kiss, moan. Emily reiterated that Nik didnít kill Zander and they must find the real killer. Kiss, moan, kiss, moan. They tried to psyche Ric into admitting that he did the deed. Kiss, moan, kiss, moan. OK, Iím kidding, they didnít kiss and moan until after Ric and Liz left. I enjoyed the scene at Wyndemere where Nik said Ric did it. Ric said Emily did it. Liz said someone else did it while thinking she did it. The fingers of accusation were flying and mixed throughout were weird color scenes of different people bashing poor Zander on the head. I bet that was a long filming day for Chad Brannon as he became the guy who wouldnít die.
Kiss, moan, youíre not guilty.
Kiss, moan some more.
Is anyone else wondering what Colemanís doing with the treasure? He played letís make a deal with Helena and then disappeared. Come to think of it, Helena was mysteriously absent this week also.
I might have a smidgeon of a chance of liking Jax again if he could appear in a scene or be involved in a story not driven by his Sonny vendetta. He offered quirky with Chloe and I liked him. Kindness and mutual respect kept me interested in Jax and Alexis. Itís really not his fault that Iím never happy to see him because Jax currently only plays one note. Repeat with me in a monotoneÖIIIÖHAAATEÖSOONNNYYY. Heís a walking talking hate Sonny droid. Thatís his theme and heís stickiní to it. No way do I believe heís truly interested in Courtney, Sonnyís sister. Poor Jax, an official member of GHís Hunk-OíRama-With-No-Love-Interest Bachelorís Club, once in, itís almost impossible to climb out.
Please let me testify, Carly, because I hate Sonny.
Alexis, I really hate Sonny. Iíll pay you if you call me to the stand.
Have I mentioned to you Sam that I hate Sonny?
Enough, all ready!
Címon, give the guy a storyline. Lucky is way too gorgeous to waste away on the sidelines of Nik and Emís trials and tribulations. Give the guy a girl at least. Heís matured as a character from adventurous boy to teenager and first love into man making his own decisions. He can hold his own in scenes with Papa Luke and he possesses the necessary GH super powers which he demonstrated when he made it from the top of the burning hotel to the ground when everyone else was stuck. What more could TPTB need?
Thanks to GHH2 for letting me use their pic.
Psst! Come over here. I have a spoiler exclusive to EOS and anyone who watched Las Vegas on Monday night. Remember Benny, Sonnyís dead-of-a-heart-attack accountant? Well, Iím here to report it was a fake death because I saw him on Monday night hanginí with Brenda and dead Leo at a casino in Vegas. Wonder if Sonny knows?
Vegas Ė Where the soap stars are.
I thought of a new game we can play during the lean spoiler season. Iím going to call it Give the Dog a Bone. Iíll make a list of names and you send me an e-mail with a couple character quirks, habits, allergies, whatever strikes your fancy that you think would be entertaining and give the character color. Next week Iíll post your ideas. Iíll start with a couple examples.
Skye: Discovers sheís a musical genius who can sit at a piano and play tunes by ear
Luke: Develops Dr. Doolittle type ESP with animals.
Dillon: Experiments with the Goth look.
Finds himself violently allergic to chlorine.
Georgie: Starts a wind chime collection and spends her spare time chasing chimes.
Maxie: Joins a team of youth from her high school that talks to other kids about the life threatening pitfalls of illegal drug use.
Sage: Takes up water ballet. Becomes obsessed with her lucky feather.
Tracey: Develops a nervous tic that looks like sheís winking. Every time she threatens someone they think sheís kidding.
Courtney: Begins losing hair and must face the trauma of early balding.
Becomes obsessed with Dr. Phil.
Alexis: Decides to introduce Kristina to the great outdoors by camping.
Wants to get a tattoo.
Sonny: Becomes enthralled with yo-yo tricks by Tommy Smothers.
OK, your turn. You know the deal, cut and paste, send me some quirks, habits, obsessions, allergies, whatever strikes you and letís have fun.
Guess what I did this week? I didnít look at a spoiler from Monday night until Thursday. I tried to look on Wednesday, but I was plain too tired and found that I didnít care. Iíd like to proudly state that I girded up some will power and held out but, umm, no. Real life took over and I didnít have enough time to surf. Funnily, nothing happened. No shaking or withdrawal hit me, no crying or whining took over. No frantic telephone calls were made to Carolyn or Katrina asking for info. So I guess the lesson must be learned that there IS life without spoilers. Iíd heard of it, but never actually experienced it. Go figure.
Zander IS the man in Mac's hospital bed....and Maxie pours her heart out to him, thinking she's talking to Mac. (GHFF)
Ya know, I feel for Maxie. The poor girl canít catch a break with a dependable adult or boyfriend. We all know Kyle was a waste of romantic screen time. Her mother runs off at the drop of a hat. And now deadZander was not really deadScotty, and burned beyond recognition Mac is undeadZander. Poor Maxieís fixiní to be traumatized again.
Next time Maxie spills her guts, I bet she checks under
the bandages first.
Jason makes plans to "terminate" Faith. (GHFF)
Let me be clear that I like the character Faith. However, itís too over the top that she runs about town murdering, kidnapping, and threatening without any consequences. I know, I know, Jason and Sonny arenít any better, but the difference is that we rarely see their murdering, which somehow makes them cleaner, though kidnapping and threatening occur on a regular basis. Plus, Faith transports drugs making her worse that mobular Sonnyís one claim to moral behavior ďno one runs drugs through my territory.Ē Iím hoping Faith at least experiences some pant-wetting fear at her almost death by Jason, has an epiphany, and attempts to change in some way so I can stop feeling guilty for enjoying her on my screen.
Jason informs Faith, ďThereís not enough room in town for the two of us.
Iím cuter and my contract is better.Ē
Edward's marriage may be in serious trouble. (GHFF)
What? Lilaís going to ground him to his room, deny him sex, make him eat healthy food, and watch Dr. Phil? This I canít wait to watch.
Lila warned Eddy that the next time she caught him
cross dressing they were through!
Maxie is once again drawn into Zander's escape plans. He neglects to tell her his plans include kidnapping Em and his baby. (GHH2)
Does he lock Liz and Emily in the panic room until Liz gives birth? Not that I want it to happen but it would be perfect poetic justice on Ric.
Mac disappears from the hospital. (GHH2)
Excuse me? Did we not just read that Zander stole Macís bed? Where the heck IS Mac?
Did you ever have a day when you looked good and you knew it? A day when your shirt indented where it should and followed the shape of your hips. A day when your pants were tight in the right places but not uncomfortable? A day when the hues in your clothing blended with your skin tone and made it glow? A day when you applied your make up, your eyes sparkled, and your lips looked luscious and pouty? A day when you gazed into the mirror and your faced glowed, your body flowed and all the flaws faded into insignificance. Days like this donít happen often and must be savored. It doesnít matter that youíre living in the same body you woke up with yesterday, for whatever reason, all the nuances of the universe have come together and by golly you are at your best. You look like you could conquer the world with a smile and your little finger crooked and people would like you while you did it. Well, Iíd like to announce that on Tuesday, March 2, 2004, I experienced such a day. However, my husband wasnít home, no errands called me, and I didnít even run into any neighbors. On the one hand it was a waste of good dressing, but on the other, how can I regret feeling good about myself? I felt good and looked my best and no one saw, except my children and bus kids and they could care less so I thought Iíd share with you.
"Some people weave burlap into the fabric of our lives, and some weave gold thread. Both contribute to make the whole picture beautiful and unique." -Anon.
"Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up." -Anon.
"Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead." -Anon.
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." -Harvey Fierstein
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Yaayyyy, for screen caps! Thanks, Terry!