Comments through January 30, 2004
This week, I was accused (in a very nice way) of slanting my column towards those affectionately and not so affectionately known as the Fab Four. For about 10 seconds I pondered and then thought, well, yeah, I do write more paragraphs about Sonny, Carly, Jason and Courtney. But it’s not my fault because who do we see the most? Sonny, Carly, Jason and Courtney. I promise to balance the mix of characters and storylines as soon as there’s a balance on my screen. And since we’re fixing to enter into weeks of towering inferno and aftermath, let me admit right now that I’ll probably be slanted towards The Cataclysmic Event. “It's going to be the biggest production thing this show has ever done. Nobody is going to emerge unscathed. A number won't survive. Secrets will be revealed." Bob Guza (co-headwriter) "People will do heroic things to live." Pratt (co-headwriter) Bring it on, I say!
The timeframe for the afternoon Towering Inferno production perplexes me. According to spoilers the teens are trapped in the rooms they rented after the dance at the Port Charles Hotel because apparently teenagers in Port Charles are allowed complete freedom with their parent’s credit cards and teenage sex is no big deal. Don’t even get me started. Or maybe the Prom is scheduled for a week after the Winter Formal. The Q’s and Cassadine’s arrive dressed in their finest auction-wear to bid for the treasure which Nikolas and Emily haven’t found yet. Brian and Jason run through the mix saving children so Brian must have discharged himself from the hospital with his shoulder miraculously healed. Since the fire doesn’t break out until Friday, February 6 and lasts for a week, that means one day in Port Charles will last 2-1/2 weeks. I’m so confused!
I want to discuss the ick factor currently dancing through my favorite show. Zander may be desperate but involving Maxie makes him look unscrupulous. I know you’re laughing, wondering what the difference between intent to murder and unscrupulous is. It’s simple – Zander is an adult and Maxie’s a teenager and NOT Emily. Ick to Zander for trying to redux his bad-guy-with-a-heart storyline using Maxie. No matter what you think about Sonny (apply your own adjectives) his love scenes are usually hot, and his scenes with Sam are no exception. However, Sam is significantly younger than Sonny. For that matter she’s much younger than Jax. Ick to Sonny and Jax for pursuing a woman (maybe or maybe not because she resembles Brenda) who was spitting up mashed bananas while they were losing their virginity. And finally, ick to Sonny and Carly for checking into the Port Charles Hotel with their respective lovers to cheat on each other in the same hotel at the same time. There’s something twisted in that.
Zander and Maxie – ick I guess this means the male bonding is over.
Check in at Hotel Bed Hop - Ick
Did you sit up and cheer when Sonny assumed that he was Sam’s “man” and began listing her benefit package for her position as his new sexual tension releasing toy and Sam responded by throwing a vase at his head? Go girl! Make Sonny pay attention. Sometimes I laugh at Sonny’s assumption that the world revolves around him, but in this instance it was all about Sonny. That would be Sonny the Arrogant who, no matter how he clarified later, tried to bribe Sam. I liked their honesty with each other though. It’s not about love or tenderness, but about need and emotional pain. Plus, after Sam threw the vase, I understood that they’re soulmates on a deep glass throwing level. I’ve made a conscious decision to not compare Sam with Brenda because it’s not fair to an actress trying to make a place on the GH canvas, but I thought it was appropriate that Sonny and Sam addressed the Brenda issue instead of pretending there wasn’t one.
Gee, was it something I said?
We’d like to introduce you to our new sponsor – Viagra. That has to be the answer to Sonny and Sam and the never ending do-it-like-bunnies love scene that lasted throughout the week. I don’t mean to be crude, but how many times did they go at it? No matter how hot the scenes or how well done didn’t you at least wonder if they stopped to shower, nap or eat? I did.
No, Silly, you can’t click on Sonny.
OK, right, wrong, justified or not, the montage while Carly did the deed with Lorenzo and Sonny redid the deed with Sam was good. I liked how the camera kept switching to Sonny's and Carly’s faces, almost like they were sleeping with each other instead of breaking vows. And man, is Lorenzo hot or what! They played a song about going wild but I thought Santana should’ve received the honors.
SMOOTH by Santana
Man it’s a hot one
Like seven inches from the midday sun
I hear your whisper and words melt everyone
But you stay so cool
My Muniquita, my Spanish Harlem
You’re my reason for reason
The step in my groove
And if you said this life ain’t good enough
I would give my world to lift you up
I could change my life to better suit your mood.
Cause you’re so smooth.
And it’s just like the ocean under the moon
Well that’s the same as the emotion that I get from you
You got the kind of lovin’ that could be so smooth
Give my your heart make it real
Or else forget about it.
Well I’ll tell you one thing
If you would leave it be a crying shame
In every breath and every word
I hear your name calling me out
Out from the barrio,
You hear my rhythm on your radio
You feel the turning of the world so soft and slow
Turning you round and round.
Shivers of empathy rippled through me for Courtney this week. Bet that sounds shocking since she usually elicits mockery. She shot a man responding to a life and death situation and as I watched her work through the shock, I tried to imagine how I would feel holding a gun and being responsible for a bullet ripping into another. It wouldn’t be easily dismissed as Carly and Jason urged her to do. On top of her shock and guilt came Sonny and Carly trashing their lives. Courtney’s the babysitter, but she’s also the peacemaker, the smoother over, the cheerer upper, which isn’t a pretty position between Sonny and Carly. A bystander as a child in the ugly divorce between my parents, I vividly remember trying to smooth things over and make things better in a hopeless situation. Courtney faced the same dilemma and ended up urging Carly to leave her children when she passionately believes Michael and Morgan need their mother and packing up Carly’s belongings to be delivered to the hotel to pacify Sonny when Jason refused to do it. Thumbs up to Courtney this week.
Talk about your rock and hard place.
Courtney’s trying to pacify Sonny, Carly, and Jason.
Thumbs down to the darn telephone. Jason slowly leaned in to kiss Courtney (like he’s done several times) and I’m yelling at the TV, “Kiss her quick before the telephone rings.” Closer, closer, put his hand behind her head, stroke her cheek, lean in and….Bbrrriinnnggg, Bbrrriinnnggg! Foiled again by the doggone phone! I bet the Journey fans were foaming at the mouth. Just once I want Jason to toss the telephone and kiss her anyway.
Just touch lips for pete’s sake!
The controversy rages. Did Jason say the “F” word on Tuesday while talking to Carly? “You know what? F***k it. I’m not going to babysit you.” Did he say what I think he said? Rewind. Play. Rewind. Play. Yep, he sure did!
Did he say it, or did he not.
I think he did and I’m in shock.
Even though Jason’s clearly angry with Carly, he rushed out of the penthouse when she called asking for help. Jason told Courtney through gritted teeth, “All she had to do was stay away from Alcazar and she couldn’t. She had everything! And she threw it away. She always does this!” Courtney responded, “So that makes it OK that he’s keeping her away from her own kids?” Showing his anger Jason answered, “No it doesn’t make it OK. He’s wrong to keep Carly away from her kids. But he’s not wrong to be angry.” Carly burned some friendship bridges with Jason when she lured him out of the penthouse with implied promises of a Carly-Rescue. Wonder if Jason will see it as betrayal? The word he and Sonny apply when they’ve decided that a woman has done something unforgivable and they want to shut her out of their lives. Of course, the word never applies to them even though Sonny’s down the hall breaking his vows with Sam.
Uh oh, Jason’s gonna say the “F” word again.
Two gold stars each to Courtney and Carly this week for eating cake while they talked on Monday. Oh wait, they didn’t actually eat the cake, but at least the idea of food in mouth was presented. OK, one gold star for acting like they were gonna eat cake until Ric showed up to ruin the moment.
Ric’s righteous indignation towards Jason was hard for me to swallow. “You know what? One of these days, your codes are going to get you put on death row. And I hope I’m the one who prosecutes.” Yeah Ric, cause you’re so moral and upstanding yourself. I know I keep ragging on Ric, but I can’t seem to help myself. He kidnapped a pregnant woman and chained her to a wall in a little room by herself. If he showed remorse or even suffered from an attack of conscious I wouldn’t roll my eyes at his every scene. So far, I haven’t received any satisfaction for his criminal psychopathic actions and I don’t care how good he looks in a suit, I don’t like him.
Courtney fights a migraine brought on by keeping a secret and dealing with
unlawful men arguing about right and wrong.
What’s up with Lorenzo and his moral outrage at Sonny? According to Alkie, Sonny is snake belly low for not allowing Carly access to her children. He’s right, it’s low, it’s ugly, and according to spoilers the custody battle will steadily worsen. However, the only person besides maybe A.J. who shouldn’t preach to Sonny about his how-low-can-you-go actions is Lorenzo. Hello? Kidnapper, stalker, dead wife haunter, grave desecrater, gun battle coordinator. Oh I hear the Lorenzo lovers now saying but he backed off and let Carly choose. I say, too little too late because he only backed off after he trashed her marriage.
Paper, Scissors, Rock!
My hot temper beats your hot temper. Na na na na na!
Emily and Nikolas fight well together. Nikolas wants Emily to see that Zander is evil and must be destroyed. Or left alone to destroy himself. Emily yearns for loftier goals and wants Zander to make a happy life for himself because she believes in the good inside him. Both are frustrated by the others inability to see where they’re coming from. On the docks, Zander pointed his gun at Nikolas but he would have had a hard time making the shot because Emily and Nikolas were jockeying for front position to protect each other. It was moot in the end though because Zander shot himself and then his gun jammed. Gotta hate when that happens. Poor Zander, forced to turn pathetic and desperate because he’s off the canvas in a few days.
“I’m in front this time,” Emily insists.
“No, you were in front last time. It’s my turn to be in front,” Nikolas replies.
Raise your hand if you guessed that the eyes looking through the portrait as Nikolas and Emily talked about tricking Helena and finding where she’d hidden the treasure were Luke’s and not Helena’s. Remember the telephone call Nikolas received on the docks from the groundskeeper telling him that a man was seen breaking into Wyndemere? Had to be Luke. Impatiently, I waited for him to show up on my screen and he appeared with lines and attitude intact. “I can’t believe it. You’ve still got your panties in a twist over that one-eyed wombat,” he greeted Skye who replied, “They’re my panties and I can twist them if I want.” She didn’t actually say that line, because she was giving Luke what for about leaving her to deal with Faith. “I’m sensing annoyance here.” Luke answered showing his deep sensitive side.
I spy with my evil eye, Luke.
One of the most reactionary lines rolled right out of Sonny’s mouth to Sam in the hotel room after Carly explained to Sam her place in Sonny’s life. Truly, it must have been hard for Maurice Benard to utter this one. “Well, Carly’s making a mockery of our marriage.” I did a double take. Carly’s making a mockery says Sonny who’s in a hotel room down the hall from Carly and Lorenzo with the obvious intent of performing some marriage mocking himself.
He who breaks vows down hall from wife
should not make comments
about wife’s morals.
other great lines and expressions rolled by me this week:
Nikolas to Helena: I’m splitting it (the treasure) 50/50 with the Quartermaine's.
Helena with shock talking to a small child: Wha? Honestly Nikolas, where do you come up with these silly ideas?
Children these days!
Lorenzo intensely to Sonny: Carly is their mother.
right back at him: Well she should have thought of that before I saw you
guys suckin’ face!
Carly to Lorenzo after jumping into bed again: It’s like I am looking at you for the first time and you’re not at all what I thought you were.
Lorenzo: I’m just a flawed man who loves you.
Lorenzo – willing to admit his flaws, but happy on the inside
that he can stop doing
Lots of spoilers revolving around the Cataclysmic Event hit the ‘net, but not a lot of funnies.
Courtney will risk her life to try and save Jason and will do something that changes her life forever. (GHFF)
She goes in for Jason but comes out with a dog! And maybe Sonny.
Carly, in a superhuman act of bravery, saves Jason’s leather jacket.
You might conclude from the picture that Sonny, Carly, and Lorenzo are stuck in an elevator,
but really, it takes three people to save The Jacket.
On Friday I experienced a wonderful 20 minutes napping. I knew they were wonderful minutes because I woke up all warm and comfy on my bed and my first thought was, “I love my bed. I love my bed when I’m in it. I especially love my bed when I don’t have to jump out of it and I can lay here and watch my soap. Sad to say, I couldn’t remain in my bed and watch GH that day, but the warm, relaxed feeling stuck with me for the rest of the afternoon and believe me, Friday afternoons on a school bus require every warm fuzzy I can latch onto. So that’s what I wish for you this week. A nap. Or maybe just a period of time when all is right in your world and you feel warm, cozy and content. ‘Cause contentment can be elusive at times. If you happen to find relaxation with GH, all the better. And if anyone mentions in a haughty, better- than-thou sorta way that they don’t watch soaps, look at them with pity and simply reply, “I’m sorry.” I guarantee, it’ll make them crazy. Thanks for stopping by.
I’d mediate every day if I could look at him while I did it.
My thanks to GH World, the best screen caps site around!
Spoiler pics from ABC MediaNet