Comments through January 9, 2004
(Spoilers are like chewable vitamins – taste good with long term benefits.)

The locomotion is in motion setting up storylines for the big sweep (that would be the cataclysmic event) in February.  The build up brings as much entertainment as sweeps, because the storylines bump along positioning and jostling into place. Anyone want to take bets that the CE will occur on, or a day or two before, Valentine’s Day?  It might be the best event to ever happen on the show and I’m prepared to soak up what’s before me, but not without complaining if the romance of Valentine’s Day gets skipped again this year.  I’m in the mood for some old fashioned falling in love, eyes meeting, hands touching, first kissing and passionate embraces.  Meanwhile, the little events like Carly surrendering to Lorenzo’s allure, Zander goading both Emily and  Nikolas, Sage brandishing a gun at Carly, and Dillon spilling his woes to Justus and Ned add up to good entertainment.

What do you call a man who is forced to follow his best friend’s wife to prevent her from having sex with his enemy and who sees his wife being kissed by a cop he hates on the same day?  A MOB enforcer in a really bad mood.  Poor Jason can’t catch a break from the women in his life.  They run around making their own decisions and not following the Moll rules.  You know, it’s tough being a soap super hero when the folks around you won’t behave.  Jason followed Carly to the park and witnessed her inadvertent, uncontrollable Alcazar tryst.  While he was performing his Super J duties protecting Carly (some might call it spying for Sonny), his best friend was shackin’ up with a pretty young thing, and his wife was dancing and kissing the new cop, Brian the Bad.  It’s just so tough to keep up with all his Super J duties.


In Jason’s world the women are out of control. 

I’d like to point out one more reason why I like Jason.  He thinks (yes he does but some people call it staring) and he doesn’t talk to himself.  Case in point, on Monday Carly begged him not to tell Sonny she let Lorenzo lay lips on her (again) and Jason left the penthouse without really answering.  He paused outside the door to “think” and it was the perfect contrived character-talks-to-himself-to-move-storyline-along moment, but he didn’t.  Thank you.

Jason throws his best not-gonna-do-it look to JFP who’s standing by the

Cameraman begging, “It’s a soap.  Talk to yourself!” 

I am not sure what to make of Sonny and Sam.  A part of me thinks that Sam’s on the young side for Sonny, while another part of me likes Sonny interacting with a new face.  Definitely, I like that Sam is unafraid of the big bad MOB boss and willing to hand back more than what Sonny’s dishing out.  Watching them give orders to each other kinda makes me laugh.  The scorpion definitely freaked me out.  That wasn’t a bug that was a landmine on legs.  Yuck! 

I like this picture. 

It’s a balance between protectiveness and violence in Sonny’s skewed world.

Plus, I’m a sucker for muscles. 

There’s a flaw in Lorenzo’s thinking.  Over and over he tells Carly, Sonny, Jason, etc. that killing him won’t solve their problems because he’s in Carly’s head and even if he’s dead, he’ll still be in her head only she’ll hate whoever killed him.  He keeps urging Carly to give in and admit her love for him.  OK, so what if she does?  What if she decides to chuck Sonny and children, trash her life and run away with Lorenzo?  Where will her love for Sonny and her children go?  If she stays true to character, the love will remain within her, haunting her and ruining her relationship with adoring Alky.  Pretty much, Carly’s life sucks whatever path she chooses until she finds a way to stop her steamy fantasies from fogging up her brain.   


“Just shut up and kiss me.”

Older, more experienced MOB Wife taught younger, just-learning-the-ropes MOB Moll when to threaten and how to brandish a gun.  Carly demonstrated her maturity by schooling Sage on the ins and outs of acting on impulse when the gangsters in their lives upset the apple cart.  I thought it kind of her to share her shot-my-lover-in-open-court-and-got-sent-up-the-river story for Sage’s benefit.  The fact that Sage probably didn’t learn a darn thing emphasizes her affinity to life in the danger zone with dear Uncle Lorenzo.

How does that Willie Nelson song go?

“Mamas don’t let your babies grow up to be Carly.” 

Sage told Dillon when he ordered her to stop stressing over Lorenzo’s disappearance, “You have no idea what my Uncle wants.  You’re a spoiled trust fund baby with bad hair who nobody really loves at all.  No wonder your mother dumped you on the Quartermaines.  You’re a coward, a loser, a stupid little wannabe.”  Wow!  Sage laid an eight layer insult on Dillon.

She managed to insult his hair, his family, and his honor in three sentences. 

Courtney and Liz friends?  Hmm, I have to think about this one for a while.  There’s a lot of recent painful history between them that would be hard to bridge like Liz’s bitterness towards Jason and Sonny, her husband kidnapping and chaining up Carly, Ric forcing Courtney into an engagement with him – the list goes on and on.   However, they do share common ground over losing Jason and they will soon feel similar pain over being connected to slime.  Ric and Brian are conspiring to convict Jason and Sonny.  Courtney may need a friend when she finds egg on her face for trusting Brian who is using her to get the scoop on Jason.

Wanna compare notes? 

Liz said to Ric at the PCPD after Emily told him what she thinks of him, “I can’t believe she said those things.”  Really, Liz?  Have you forgotten so soon the opening of the secret door and pregnant Carly chained to the wall?  Cause I haven’t forgotten.

Emily rants at Liz, “I told them not to drag Nikolas in here until

he changed his shirt.  Now he’s sitting in

interrogation, his clothes clash with the handcuffs and the wall color,

 the ambiance is wrong and it’s all Ric’s fault!” 

Why did Tracy run down to the PCPD to bother Emily when Nikolas was arrested for Cody’s murder?  What’s in it for her if Emily breaks up with Nikolas?  In my fanciful dreams I want to see a face off between Tracy and Helena, oh, and Faith.  I don’t know why they would be in the same room but the dialogue would be worth whatever contrivances in storylines made the scene happen. 

One of these Q’s is not like the other.

One of these Q’s doesn’t belong.

(Perhaps I should have saved that line for Skye.) 

Emily and Nikolas make the same little moaning sounds when they kiss in their pirate fantasy, resolving for all time the intriguing hypothesis - once a moaner, always a moaner. 

The more they kiss, the less they talk in wacky accents,

so I vote for more kissing. 

Ohh, Zander, lookin’ good!  Cold, bitter and heartless suits him.  For that matter, suits suit him.  Even Faith suits him.  I’m glad he’s not moping around with puppy eyes whenever Emily walks by.  He’s wearing his maturity well and I wish he would stick around Port Charles to remind Noble Prince Nik and Saintly Emily that they really aren’t perfect and their love came at the cost of Zander’s heart. 


Zander enjoyed upsetting Emily and enraging Nikolas. 

Emily:  Nikolas and I would never let an innocent person take the blame, Zander.

Zander:  Oh, I’m sorry.  I keep forgetting how noble you two are. 

Funniest scene this week definitely goes to Maxie in drag kissing Georgie.   

Georgie:  That was great!  He totally saw us.

Maxie:  Gross!  Georgie, we’re never, ever doing that again.  Gross.  That was so gross!

Most girls practice kissing with the mirror.  

Real sisters would be laughing about it over coffee in 20 years.  But can someone remind me why Georgie’s working so hard to hurt Dillon and make him believe there’s another guy in the picture?  Second funniest scene occurred on the Haunted Star when the Q’s arrived en masse to harass Jax.  Tracy was having way too much fun monitoring the conversation.

Edward to Jax:  The little vixen that you call your girlfriend is nothing but a common thief.

Tracy:  Now Daddy, Jax has a very hard time believing things like that.

The Lunatics vs. Judgmental Jax

Tracy and Monica Ref

Score Even though The Lunatics may receive a foul for triple teaming. 

Carly provided the most amazing scene when she actually swept up the glass from the drink she threw against the wall.  I assumed the little glassware fairy followed Sonny around quietly cleaning up the broken glass he often leaves in his wake.  Apparently, Carly doesn’t receive the same perk and she had to clean up her own broken glass.  Maybe it’s in MB’s contract.   Sonny may break, throw or shatter glass whenever he feels an urge and doesn’t have to clean up after himself. 

“Oh, so THAT’s what this thing is for,” Carly realizes.

I noticed some oddities this week that I feel compelled to list.

- Sonny and Sam land in a shack on an island which is stocked with liquor, glassware and ice.

- Maxie brings her laptop with her while she performs her candy striper duties.

- Ric was slick pouring Nik a drink with the handy glassware in the interrogation room.

- Brian sat at the counter at Kelly’s and poured sugar into his coffee only nothing poured and the white stuff at the bottom stayed put because the sugar container is, alas, only a prop.

- Zander and Maxie – I could see Maxie with a crush on older, bad boy Zander.

- Carly punched Faith and Faith hardly blinked.

- These hairstyles were definitely odd.


Fly away hair and helmet hair.  It was an off day. 

We can moan and groan over the bad accents and the fact that Prince Niko/Blackthorn doesn’t measure up to Captain Jack Sparrow, but the fact is, GH has been taking some risks lately and experimenting with bits and pieces out of the box (Christmas and New Years specials), keeping a firm hold on normal (fab four and MOB life).  I give them credit for at least testing the waters.  They also appear to be able to learn from their mistakes if we can believe the spreading news that John Ingle has been asked to return if only on recurring status.  Now if I could only get Mr. Guza and Mr. Pratt to call me for storyline advice…  

Well I asked and you guys came through.  Following are the words describing the characters I listed last week.  And what an interesting conglomeration it is!  Nikolas definitely came in as most popular while the Fab Four appear to be the most controversial - love ‘em or hate ‘em.  Emily wins least popular character which surprised me because while I find her quirks funny and occasionally annoying, I like her on the whole and think that Natalia Livingston has brought a maturity to the role.  I didn’t list every word by every person if they were the same or similar to someone else’s.   

Emily:  Fairy tale princess, smart, ladylike, fearless, elegant, self-righteous, arrogant, annoying, spoiled, prissy, princess, whiny, do-gooder, pretty, classy, either perma-grin or pursed lips, nice dresser, ME without Nikolas and Jason, unintentionally selfish, pretty, dewy eyed puppy who still chews on the furniture, breathy, opinionated, loyal, bi***, annoying, disrespectful, self-centered, boring, flaky, corny, terrible British accent, poor me, spoiled, self-absorbed, phony, holier than thou 

Nikolas:  Emily’s prince, Helena will have a field day when she returns, noble, naïve, smart, passionate, hot wounded, solid, hard, soft, HOT!, handsome, classy, sincere, sexy, the perfect man, smoldering, loyal, cultured, bewildered, lost soul, no direction, no life goals, gorgeous, romantic, loyal, naïve, reliable, quiet, secretly depressed, too good to be true, spoiled, classy, boring, sophisticated, introspective, poetic 

Zander:  Angry, bitter, hurt, wants to be tender and loving, waste of talent, sad to let go, lots of potential, child could be redemption from loss of brother, angry, funky mouthed, wounded, confused, searching, in need, hot!, fun, passionate, impulsive, begone, rash, hurt, betrayed, self-centered, pouty, delinquent with temper tantrums, hot headed, Tom Cruise, potential, broken hearted, dangerous, sensitive, firebrand, charming, destructive, good looking, volatile, insecure,  interesting 

Liz:  Craves normalcy, drawn to danger, determined, hard worker, self righteous, naïve, romantic, skinny, pouty, pretty, naïve, strong, hopeful, “normal, growing up, becoming more self aware, whiny, cutesy, spineless, dependent, sweet, self-conscious, talented, trusting, judgmental hypocrite, distorts truth, beautiful, expressive, honest, good friend, trusting, forgiving, confused, neglected by family and craving attention, Jason Jason Jason, needy, sweet, adorable, genuine, artistic 

Ric:  Smart, helpless in the face of his own needs, survivor, manipulator, naïve of his own power to control, psychotic, hot in a suit, wanting, adult, hot, sneaky, craving normal, caring but afraid, annoying, fake, not attractive-but not ugly, single-minded, looked better with a scruff, slimeball, horrible, manipulative, ambitious, demanding, deceitful, self-absorbed, vengeful, spiteful, dangerous, hot hot hot, scum, liar, worthless, loser, snake, rat, liar (albeit a good looking one), stupid, unbelievable, hunk, sexy, gorgeous, “sigh”, metrosexual, meticulous, perfect 

Jax:  Gambler of funds and heart, annoying, good lord what an ass, short sighted, rescuer, good buddy, cute, playful, funny, the kind you want to wrestle with, determined, loyal, spoiled, generous, controlling, sleazy, obnoxious, pompous, pimp-style female user, immature, mean, sweet, powerful, rich, helpful, gentleman, too much like white bread without crust, overrated, conceited, white knight complex without any follow through, egotistical, ruthless, selfish, boring, dumb, Ken doll 

Sam:  Selfish, self absorbed, greedy, beautiful, Brenda look-alike, I miss Vanessa, breasts!, snakey, pretty, conniving, little girl, Brenda-wannabe, attractive, man-user, conniver, back-stabber, wrong, impulsive, scheming, material, struggling, ambitious, survivor, acceptance wannabe, risk taker, watchable but not likable, faux Brenda, annoying, rude, liar, defensive, street smart, boring, hair?, who?, who cares?, disgusting, big chest, low class 

Tracy:  Hard hearted with kernels of love buried inside, offensive, wicked stepmother (even though she isn’t one), fun, devious, entertaining, strong, heartless, relentless, controlling, puppet master, strong, hurt, spitfire, the kind you love to hate, money-lover, ROTTEN, true Quartermaine, ha-ha, forceful, intimidating, angry, vindictive, useless, sharp, witty, engaging, shrewd, funny, bad mother, selfish, cunning, classy, devious, self-important, mean, spoiled, ruthless, narcissistic, manipulative, crafty, style personified 

Faith:  Angry little girl on a power trip, icy, black widow, bitchy, funny, sad, psycho, wounded, determined, deliciously raw sexuality, playful, good friend until you disagree, bad-a$$, sad at heart, clever, cold, an unwise conniver, a classy witch, greedy, distrustful, coward, flashy, control freak, desperate to belong, great grin, slyly wicked, entertaining, sexy, sassy, cold, powerful, funny, unapologetic (feels the world owes her), bold, needs self-defense courses (too many slaps connected), crazy, mean, pretty, lethal, sexy, hard, beautiful, interesting, cartoonish 

Sonny:  Flawed, hurt, possessive in love, flamboyant, street smart, lover, loves his family, keeps his hands clean of mob business, expressionless, boring, ass, non-introspective, always, right, stubborn and typically wrong, sometimes hot, cold-hearted, sloppy kisser, possessive, controlling, hot-tempered, glassware abuser, boss, selfish, commanding, suspicious, dictatorial, abusive, control freak, needs medication, angst, more angst, controlling, lunatic, testy, passionate, dangerous, bad tempered, suppressing ingrained abusive tendencies, paranoid, egotistical, moody, unhappy, narcissistic, mysoginist, boring, ridiculous, overplayed 

Carly:   Loving, fierce, self destructive, dependent, playing emotional to the max this week, bad back, deluded, scrapper, leap before you think, loyal to her detriment, defender, expressive, fun, protective, awesome dresser, bad judgment, good intentions, determined, impulsive, tough blonde, lacks self-esteem, opinionated, loud, maturing, struggling, confused, wild card, charismatic, fashionable, impulsive, passionate, confrontational, unfulfilled, scared to be alone, boisterous, emotional, skinny, narcissistic, stupid, boring, brainwashed 

Jason:  Intense, controlled, fierce, tender, violent, fierce protector, nipples, thinking What? all the time, puppet, empty, boring, blink, hot, overly-expressive, passionate with females, protective, loyal, awesome, always there for you, direct, learning, good friend-bad enemy, nonjudgmental, basically kind and HOT, dull, guarded, protecting, dangerous, doesn’t believe he deserves good things, the essence of primal, logic is dictated by need and consequence (or lack thereof), his vision of the world is black and white, sexy, handsome, Liz Liz Liz, brain dead, hypocrite 

Courtney:  Lacks character volume, indecisive, scared of her own shadow, kickboxing, independent, willful, little girl, waking up, getting herself back, buff, dependent, annoying, cute, touches her face too much, just blonde, immature, busty, strong, foolish, superficial, immature, doesn’t think, shallow, more dull, gorgeous (hot), trusting, caring, a good friend, emotionally lost, immature, like her brother, too needy, boring, lacks a personality, stupid, loyal, naïve, bi***, fresh, puppy dog 

Ned:  Romantic leading man, sense of humor, versatile, suit, who?, resigned, fun to hang out with, keeper of the secrets, hard worker, caring, should have stayed Eddie Mane, not his own character, opinionated, funny, dimples, forgiving, talented, idealistic, self appointed peacemaker (unsuccessful), smart, handsome, rich, loveless, respectful, kind, passive-aggressive, skewed sense of priorities, singer, out of the picture, hot, smart businessman, classy, used to be interesting, extraneous 

Skye:  Needy, slowly maturing, classy, loved Katrina’s Bobbie comparison, beautiful, insecure, emotional, not giving up, hard, soft, needy, independent, desperate to be loved, intelligent, determined, classic, stylish, cynical, searching, bright, innovative, searching for recognition and love, vulnerable, breathtakingly gorgeous, savvy, amazing, classy, funny, smart, lonely, witty, best dresser on the show, misunderstood, pretty, sexy, spicy, alluring 

Luke:  White knight riding a mean black horse, romantic with hard exterior, brooding, angry, self-absorbed, doing the best he can, stuck in the past, hard, soft, playful, adventurous, fun to drink with, funny, smarta$$, wallows in self-pity, holds grudges, hilariously ironic, confident, smart, strong self-preservation instincts, hateful, spiteful, abusive, obsessive, unreliable, drunk, bold yet broken, powerful yet sorrowful, self-destructive, angry, irrational, pirate, detached, self-punisher, Laura, rebel, adventurous, funny, crazy, still has “it” 

Wow!  You guys are amazing, brilliant and entertaining.  And this was so much fun that I’d like to list several more characters for your review.  You know the drill.  Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, cut and paste the list into an e-mail and write a few words describing each character. 
















Big Alice

On your mark…get set…type! 

Until Thursday it was an uninspiring spoiler week.  And then a few funnies hit the ‘net waves. 

Faith takes advantage of Jason. (GHFF)

Really?  Does it happen on a park bench down on the docks like with Nedly?
“Hey Big Boy, why dontcha come and see me sometime.”

Carly asks Cameron to commit her to a Sanitarium.  Faith bribes Carly's doctor to inject her with mind-altering drugs.  Confused, Carly gets hold of the needle and stabs JASON with the syringe!!!!! 

(GHFF)  Now this one has possibilities. As the drug takes affect, I see fan bases jumping up and down shouting, “And he finally realizes that he loves Liz, Robin, Keesha, Sonny…” (You fill in the blank.) What if he remembers he’s a Q and wants to play doctor? Not.

“Wouldn’t you rather lay on my couch and describe your fantasies?”

Carly can't believe it when Sonny tells her their marriage is finished.  (GHFF)

And we in GH Fanland can’t believe it either since it’s only happened about 35 times before.
Dillon has an accident.  (GHH2)

As soon as I read this, I pictured rival hairdressers attacking him and combing his hair. 

It’s all in a name and Penny, the waitress at Kelly’s, doesn’t have one.  A lady who attended the GH Fan Club Weekend last year sent me an innocent e-mail asking the name of the actress who plays Penny the Waitress.  In the mornings, I try do my housework as quickly as possible and then answer e-mails before tackling other tasks on my unending list.  No problem.  I checked a couple reliable sources, no Penny.  Checked a few more and saw that Katrina had come on line so I asked her.  She said just a minute…and a minute…and a minute.  You get the picture, no Penny.  Now an hour into the search, it had become a quest.  I e-mailed the other writers for EOS seeking help.  Sherry found an early Penny (I think), but not current Penny.  I’ve e-mailed a few additional GH insiders, hoping for an answer to the big question – Who is Penny?  I’ll find out and EOS will post the breaking news, Penny’s name.  It’s very odd when you think about it because we see Penny a couple times a week.  Coleman, Reginald, Alice, Leticia, Max show up once or twice a month and their names are listed on most cast lists.  Maybe it’s because they speak lines and Penny move dishes.  Who knows?

Can you name the waitress? 

I was going to try Coke and peanuts.  Honest.  But somehow the week and then the weekend slipped by and I never bought a regular Coke or the bag of peanuts so it’s on my list of things to do in the next few days.  So many people e-mailed me extolling the wonder of drinking an ice cold Coke with peanuts inside that I have to try it at least once.  But I’m not sticking a peppermint stick into a pickle no matter who suggests it (you know who you are) as another palette stimulating snack.   

Carolyn, the Diva of Clean has inspired me the last few days and I’ve spent time decluttering my house.  Clutter drives me crazy, invading my home like a dust to ceiling fan blades.  Where did all this stuff come from?  Declutterizing, simplifying, getting back to basics (pick the words you like) has become my goal until I’ve sorted and straightened all the corners of my house flushing out the mind dragging bits and pieces that distract me.  Is it spring yet?  Cause this sounds an awful lot like spring cleaning. 

I wish for you at least one evening relaxing in front of a fire, maybe a couple romantic kisses, and more blessings than you can count.  Thanks for reading. 

Screen caps for the picture hungry GH’er.  Thanks, Terry. 

I’m in a contemplating kind of mood lately

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