NAME: Lila Quartermaine
AGE: 106, but I tell people I’m 88.
HAIR COLOR: White
EYE COLOR: Blue
NICKNAME: Wheels, Grammy, The Rose of Kent
FAVORITE ACTOR: I do so enjoy that young Brad Pitt fellow.
He’s just lovely to look at.
FAVORITE ACTRESS: Gene Tierney
FAVORITE MOVIE: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: I love the tabloids. What
can I say? It’s most refreshing
to read that other people have the same problems as my own family. The Star, National Enquirer, I read them all.
I do keep them secreted in my room (only Reggie knows I have them)
because it could be perceived as unseemly.
FAVORITE BOOK: Since I was a little girl my favorite book has been “A
Child’s Garden of Verses” by Robert Louis Stevenson.
I also enjoy anything by Anne Rivers Siddon.
FAVORITE TV SHOW: I love Who Wants To Be a Millionaire.
I know most of the answers to the questions and it’s such a joy to see
the people get so excited when they win! (Some
days I think it should be called “Who Would WANT to be a Millionaire.”
I loved the show “Knight Rider” and I’m deeply saddened that they
took it off the air. Ridiculous
FAVORITE PART OF THE MALE ANATOMY: I
love a tight little bottom.
FAVORITE BAND/SINGER: I love piano and could listen to Richard Clayderman for
FAVORITE SONG: “Rhapsody On a Theme By Paganini” by Rachmoninov
WHAT IS THE STRANGEST THING YOU HAVE EVER EATEN?
Our first cook tried to make English scones once and the result was
absolutely atrocious. Something
went terribly wrong and they tasted like some kind of crap filled dog biscuit. It was particularly difficult to be gracious after such a
valiant effort, but I did encourage him not to give it another try.
FAVORITE FOOD: Super large, perfectly ripened strawberries dipped in
white chocolate. Absolutely
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TOLD YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE FAMOUS? Yes, in fact.
My hair was originally a dark brown colour and when I was young, I once
bleached it out a lovely blonde and went to Paris.
A young man there was convinced that I was one of the Gabor sisters and,
well, I didn’t bother to correct his mistake.
We had just a lovely week.
HABITS (BAD OR OTHERWISE): I never, ever want to be predictable, even for a
moment. The second that you are
predictable, people around you become bored and restless.
I always try to think the best of everyone and presume their innocence.
I suppose that is a habit that has set me up for disappointment on a few
WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?
FAVORITE PLACE TO BE KISSED? Under a tree that is absolute rife with apple
blossoms. A strong wind comes up
during the kiss and the pungent blooms swell all around us in a cascade of
fragrant tree snow.
MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT: When my
first husband showed up and proved that our divorce was never final, so Edward
and I were not legally married. I
could have killed him with my own hands (or poker).
CAN YOU SPEAK WITH AN ACCENT? Yes.
FAVORITE SAYING: “You draw more flies with honey than piss or vinegar.”
MOST MEMORABLE EXPERIENCE: My whole life has been one, great, memorable
experience. To choose one would cheapen each and every other moment I
WHAT SCARES YOU? Snakes. I ran into
one harmless little garden fellow in my roses about two years ago and this wheel
chair went into overdrive faster than any SUV on the market.
I know I should be gracious about sharing my beautiful gardens with all
of God’s creatures, but I just can’t tolerate the little beggars.
PET PEEVE(S): Ha! Do snakes in my
garden count? I’d have to say
pettiness really pushes my feathers backward.
BIGGEST CRIME YOU EVER COMMITTED: Murder
DID YOU GET CAUGHT? I
confessed, but it was not brought up to the authorities
STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.
: ASTROLOGICAL SIGN:
WHAT WOULD YOUR FRIENDS BE MOST SURPRISED TO KNOW ABOUT YOU?
Oh, I think about all of my secrets have been exposed one way or another.
I suppose that one of the reasons I can tolerate living around all of the
shouting is that I have a small boom box under my robe and discreet earphones to
block out the sound.
LEAST FAVORITE PC CITIZEN: Felicia
Scorpio Jones and Luke Spencer. I
have done my best to overcome my anger over their violation of my privacy and I
just can’t make it. I’m still
very, very angry about that.